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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Need advice asap from police officer

131 replies

Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 09:36

I'm very embarrassed and remorseful about this so please go easy ! About 6 years ago after my dad died I had a full breakdown and went into a shop and stole a bottle of perfume (no idea why as didn't need it) , I got caught and police were called to the store ( it's a big department store) , I was shaking and terrified and apologised profusely . The police said that the store had agreed not to take things further and the police said I must pay for the perfume and stay out the store for 9months . I never went back to the store for over a year and paid the perfume plus a bit more back to the store . I don't know why I enemy did this ? I have never even stole a penny chew from a sweet shop and have never been in trouble before with police or after . Iv worked for NHS as a HCA for 16 years and have now been accepted on nurse training course at uni . Thy are doing a dbs check on me now and I'm terrified that this will come up ? Can a telling off from the police be stored on the police database ? The police took my name and address just to check I had no previous convictions or record on that horrible day but they never made me sign anything or arrested me . Thy just gave me a stern talking too and told me to go on my way ? I know I am a horrible human for doing that but I promise Iv never done any other bad things and really want to be the best nurse I can be . I'm terrified this may come up on dbs check ? Iv googled and most people are saying A telling off does not show and you have to have been cautioned or arrested for that to go on your record ? Can anyone please help me as it's making me ill . Any police officers on mumsnet ??

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 13/09/2018 09:38

Not a police officer but pretty sure that a telling off doesn’t come up given that you didn’t actually get charged or officially warned for anything

It’s a bigger issue though how you’re reacting to it - have you got any anxiety?

Lostwithinthehills · 13/09/2018 09:41

I don’t think you need to worry. The store chose not to take it any further which probably means that no allegation of theft was recorded. The police wouldn’t keep a record of the telling off.

Original poster
Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 09:42

Yes I have anxiety but this is making me ill and Iv worried for months but my dbs was sent off two days ago and it's all I can think of and just want it to be over . I'm terrified it's going to ruin my future plans. Iv worked so hard to get my place at university and I'm desperate to be a nurse . What I did was stupid and Iv never been in trouble before or after this incident so if it does come up I hope the university would be understanding ? I maybe don't deserve them to be understanding saying as I was a thief ! I hate myself for what I did and wish to god I'd not been so bloody stupid .

OP posts:
Creeper8 · 13/09/2018 09:45

Please dont beat yourself up about it you are not a horrible person!!

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 13/09/2018 09:46

Grief makes us do strange things. I am sorry for your loss. I believe that if anything was on your record your would know, as you would of had to sign something to say you had been given a caution etc. But even if it is on your record do not panic. It was a first offence and it was petty. It was 5 yr ago you have nothing on your record since. It can be explained away as grief and lack of judgement. You have good charectar before and after the incident. Employers have seen everything and unless it was a major crime that would effect you working with vulnerable people i dont think it would be an issue, you may be called in to explain yourself and you may not be trusted with keys to locked cupboards in the first instance but they would see after time that you are trustworthy. Dont worry.!

Original poster
Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 09:46

Any police officers or dbs workers who can help ?

Thank you for the replies and not being mean even though I deserve it .

OP posts:
GreenMeerkat · 13/09/2018 09:48

Were you arrested or cautioned or did the police just give you a talking to?

I don't think anyone is going to be mean to you. You were grieving, and you are clearly remorseful and have paid the shop back xx

Finfintytint · 13/09/2018 09:48

Difficult to say without knowing exactly how the police handled it. They used to give out informal warnings but you still had to sign those. They should have recorded it as a crime anyway so the crime record should show with you as the offender but no action taken ( so not a conviction).
Proper crime recording was pretty shoddy though a few years ago so I doubt they dealt with this properly.

Cantstopworryingaboutit · 13/09/2018 09:48

It won't show up, I have enhanced dbs regularly, it 100 percent won't show x

BathroomLights · 13/09/2018 09:50

If it was going to be a problem I don't think you would have been allowed to continue as an HCA. So either they don't care as it wasn't serious, or they don't know ie it wasnt/isn't on your DBS.

Original poster
Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 09:50

Thank you . Yes I would completely understand if thy did not want me having access to keys etc ( I don't believe students have access to keys etc anyway as it normally has to be a qualified member of staff ) . I am trustworthy and would never steal from anyone or take anything that is not mine . I will never ever shoplift again as this has ate away at me for 6 years now and having to have a dbs check has really made it come back into the forefront of my mind and I keep punishing myself . If I do pass the dbs check then I'm going to try and forgive myself and forget about the incident.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 13/09/2018 09:51

It would dependdepend on what the police had to record back at the police station. At an enhanced check police can flag ththngs even if you ve not been charged. I would turn it into a positive that you have empathy for the grief your patients relatives might go through if you declare it.

Original poster
Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 09:52

I wasn't arrested or cautioned and the police just talked to me and said the store don't want to take any action and they let me go on my way . Thy did ask me my name and address and radioed the station to see if I had any previous convictions which I hadn't . After they did that they just said I should be very thankful as the store are not taking the matter further and they walked me back to my car and let me go home . I wasn't handcuffed or asked to sign anything .

OP posts:
MrsPMT · 13/09/2018 09:53

Hi, not a police officer but I did have a breakdown also many years ago and did some things that I would never otherwise do, where police & healthcare staff were involved. I have since had several DBS checks for work (work in schools) and have never had anything come up.
Try not to worry Flowers

And you are absolutely not a bad person because of this. You were having a breakdown, it happens to lots of people.

Original poster
Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 09:54

Cantstopworryingaboutit may I ask how you know it won't show up ? Has anyone had anything similar happen to them ?

OP posts:
Hilltoptea · 13/09/2018 09:54

As far as I'm aware there are different computer systems within different counties/forces. They might have different recording standards too.

Just go down to your local police station (one with a front office/front counter). Take some ID and ask them to check if it's on their system. Someone should be able to help you out. Hopefully it will put your mind at ease!

Original poster
Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 09:55

MrsPmt did you get took to a police station or given a verbal warning ?

OP posts:
Causeimunderyourspell · 13/09/2018 09:55

Nothing is recorded as you weren't even placed under arrest. You need to be taken to the police station and formally charged for anything to be recorded. You would be told that you were receiving a reprimand/caution and then you'd have to sign. So no, there is nothing on your record. There is no record.

coldrain2018 · 13/09/2018 09:55

you are worrying too much

have you explained your mental health history on your application? This is just a symptom of that,

honestly, if everyone who had got a stern telling off from the police was banned from employment, there wouldn't be enough workers in the country!

Original poster
Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 09:56

Hilltoptea oh I never knew you could do that ? Gosh I will be so embarrassed to ask but I guess it would put my mind at ease . I feel mortified by what I did so not sure I could ask

OP posts:
Oneofthosedreadfulparents · 13/09/2018 09:57

No police / legal experience, but I have worked in a university, recruiting onto nursing degrees. In my experience, in our university, if we received notification of something coming up on the CRB check (it was a while back!), it wouldn't automatically mean the student would not be accepted onto the course. The type of incident would be taken into account and the applicant would be asked for further information / explanation. If it was deemed that the incident would have no bearing on their fitness to practice, it wouldn't exclude them for them the course. It sounds from previous posters as if this is unlikely to show up on your DBS, but even if it does, you are likely to be given the opportunity to explain - don't panic, and don't give up hope!

GreenMeerkat · 13/09/2018 09:58

@Studentnurse1981 I work for the police (although not an officer) and I'm 99.9% certain if you were not cautioned then no crime was actually recorded. They may have recorded their attendance as 'responded to theft, suspect spoken to at scene, no further action taken' but your name won't be in that report as you were not arrested.

Hope this helps x

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 13/09/2018 09:58

It won't show up so don't worry.

I am slightly worried you haven't had a new dbs check since then though. My trust has just been in some right trouble with the cqc (our rating is shocking now) for staff not having up to date dbs checks. Its supposed to be done every 3 years.

Causeimunderyourspell · 13/09/2018 10:00

Stop stressing honestly, you don't need to go in and ask anyone. There is no record of you on the database, I'd bet my life on it.

Just for extra mind at ease-ness, I was actually arrested and formally reprimanded for stealing a bra when I was 14. I had to attend the station where my fingerprints were even recorded and I was interviewed and kept in a cell for an hour with my dad.

There is no record of me and I've had DBS checks. I remember feeling anxious as you are now, but I actually DID have a record, but nothing showed. What I'm saying is, even an actual record can be removed after some time if it's a caution/reprimand for a non-serious crime and first and only offence.

Original poster
Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 10:00

I maybe have had a dbs done since ? Maybe my employer just did them and I wasn't aware ?

OP posts:
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