Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need advice asap from police officer

131 replies

Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 09:36

I'm very embarrassed and remorseful about this so please go easy ! About 6 years ago after my dad died I had a full breakdown and went into a shop and stole a bottle of perfume (no idea why as didn't need it) , I got caught and police were called to the store ( it's a big department store) , I was shaking and terrified and apologised profusely . The police said that the store had agreed not to take things further and the police said I must pay for the perfume and stay out the store for 9months . I never went back to the store for over a year and paid the perfume plus a bit more back to the store . I don't know why I enemy did this ? I have never even stole a penny chew from a sweet shop and have never been in trouble before with police or after . Iv worked for NHS as a HCA for 16 years and have now been accepted on nurse training course at uni . Thy are doing a dbs check on me now and I'm terrified that this will come up ? Can a telling off from the police be stored on the police database ? The police took my name and address just to check I had no previous convictions or record on that horrible day but they never made me sign anything or arrested me . Thy just gave me a stern talking too and told me to go on my way ? I know I am a horrible human for doing that but I promise Iv never done any other bad things and really want to be the best nurse I can be . I'm terrified this may come up on dbs check ? Iv googled and most people are saying A telling off does not show and you have to have been cautioned or arrested for that to go on your record ? Can anyone please help me as it's making me ill . Any police officers on mumsnet ??

OP posts:
Ginorchoc · 13/09/2018 12:23

Ex Police Officer, in the circumstances you describe it wouldn’t be recorded, in store resolution, rollicking and you’d paid for the item so end of. A name check would have been done as a store resolution couldn’t be an option with previous.

But as others say it depends on the force? They do vary. Pretty certain though you’d really have nothing to worry about.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 13/09/2018 12:34

It won't come up: see here to put your mind at rest.

WellThisIsShit · 13/09/2018 12:44

I’ve crossed posts with you and have just written another long post explaining the difference between your situation and the real lead swingers I have seen making whiny excuses for frankly inexcusable incidents which show up on their DBS checks. One in particular recently.

But actually, Bettys harsh posts seem to have done you the world of good! You’re standing up for yourself and realising that actually no, it isn’t a huge crime and shouldn’t be significant in terms of a nursing career or being in contact with vulnerable people. Which is good. Well done Wink

So here’s my long post from the point of view of an employer, and a candidate who really was chancing it with a dodgy dbs record. This is the kind of situation where employers say no due to dbs.

You are not like this. Very clearly. Don’t worry about being mistaken for someone like this. From the other side, it’s usually quite clear who has integrity and insight into their past.

If you need to,some honest and heartfelt explanations should be enough. And that’s if by any chance it does turn up on your dbs check... which is unlikely!

So:

I recently came under great pressure to employ a young woman in a position working with a vulnerable children & adults, in a really rewarding job which is no doubt about it, is sometimes really high pressure too. An environment where multitasking and prioritisation of work is essential, as at times, you need to be evaluating rapidly what to do in what order as a continuous stream of events / needs come at you, and the decisions you make effect health (sorry to be vague, trying to keep confidentiality!).

Anyway, this candidate not only didn’t have a clear dbs, she’d been convicted for a racially motivated assault! But the agencies concerned felt that as she did a good interview, and had a good (sob) story, she was still a good candidate for the job.

I did interview her, and because I have a lot more interview experience, and wasn’t born yesterday (aka desperate to get a body in the position!), I wasn’t impressed by her excuses, which read like a lesson in what not to do when trying to show you have genuinely turned your life around!

Eg changing her story when she realised how detailed the dbs info was.

It went from a midnight drunken argument with a terribly abusive ex which got out of hand (woe is her etc), to an argument in a shopping centre with strangers where she (& her mother!) allegedly started it by shouting racist names. And then a fight broke out. Classy. A little different from the first story!

The dates also changed, from ‘it was in my past, over half a decade ago. I’m soooo much older now. Err, it was 2 years ago. It says in the dbs form.

Eg and lastly pulling out all the ‘poor me, everyone is against me’ stuff... the judge was against her, she couldn’t afford a lawyer, the other people were being racist, the shopping centre staff were racist. Oh and the judge was racists too apparently!

Can you imagine this person in a pressured environment with a vulnerable child or adults health in her hands? It would be a matter of time before she snapped and lashed out, hitting one of them I suspect. If she hadn’t started with the racial slurs first.

And it would be MY responsibility if and when that happened, because that’s what DBS checks are for.

This woman was a chancer, and I rather think her actions show she had no remorse for her crime whatsoever. She just thought she could lie and fabricate excuses to get around it.

And she’d been convincing enough to get through the first stage with this glib story telling stuff. In combination with a management desperate to fill a position quickly.

Shockingly already has a job with an LA working with vulnerable children in care.

OP, you are nothing like this woman, I can tell just from what you’ve written on this thread. My point is, if she can convince others to overlook a far more serious, and relevant, conviction, you’ll be absolutely fine.

mrspalm · 13/09/2018 12:45

Hi, I have been arrested and accepted a caution, back when i was at university (got drunk, fell in love with something, removed it, didn't see police next to it!!!). More recently I had an altercation with another driver in carpark (police called....as we both believed we were right and neither would agree they were wrong...when actually, of course they were!!!!), police took name and address to do a similar check to the one you experienced.

I have recently renewed my DBS for an organisation that uses enhanced DBS's, nether my caution (which is spent under time limits....over 20 years ago) nor my recent 'chat' with the police showed up. I am very certain you will be fine.

Things which do show up, are if a serious allegation has been made against you (even if later not proven), as I have had to deal with a person in that situation (they had been in the police and an allegation was made against them that was wasn't proved). It was completely different to what you did, but it does show that enhanced DBS's really do seem to pick up everything we would want them to pick up on.

I do hope your anxiety about this is easing.

BlancheM · 13/09/2018 12:47

No. Please don't beat yourself up over this

WellThisIsShit · 13/09/2018 12:49

By the way, I believe you can get spent convictions taken off your record after a certain number of years.

IF you do have anything on your dbs, it may be that it’s so long ago now, and a minor, non violent, resolved ‘crime’ that you can get it deleted.

Now, I did get told this by someone else, rather than knowing all the facts for myself, so you’d have to check it out, but it’s another ray of hope for you...

GuessTheFruit · 13/09/2018 13:06

Why not call 101? You can ask the question without giving your name. I'm sure they would be able to reassure you

Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 13:19

Thank you so much everyone . I am really taking all your comments on board .

OP posts:
ThanosSavedMe · 13/09/2018 13:23

Years again I worked as a temp for a uni in the nursing department and saw the crb (as they were called then) certificates. You’d be amazed at what some of them had on there and were still on the course*. I think you’ll be fine

  • nothing for anyone to worry about. No sexual assaults, murders etc
1981fishgut · 13/09/2018 13:26

My shop lifting cane off after 10 years

recklessruby · 13/09/2018 13:53

Minor offences like cautions get removed after 10 years for sure.
We have just been through this with dd 24 who stupidly got a caution age 14 for holding stolen phone for her so called friend.
We were on tenterhooks waiting for dbs as she wanted to work with vulnerable adults with learning difficulties.
It came back squeaky clean and she's been in the job a few months now.

Darkbendis · 13/09/2018 14:13

Interpreter here. At the time when you were caught with the perfume, if any official measures had been taken, the police officer would have filled in and read to you a specific form/paper explaining clearly that this would show on any checks and might prevent you to take certain jobs. So you would have definitely remember if it had been the case. Since you have no recollection about being given anything like this, you should be fine.

Candymay · 13/09/2018 14:30

You poor thing. Don’t be so hard on yourself! You’re not a horrible person!
It 100% will not show on any DBS. I’m not in the police but I do know this from personal experience.
I’m sorry you went through hard times and I’m sorry you’re suffering with anxiety now. At least when you have this check you will not have to worry in the future. Good luck with your chosen career x

wildewillow · 13/09/2018 14:53

If you didn't get charged you have nothing on your criminal record.

Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 21:38

Thank you

OP posts:
Hereiamitsme · 13/09/2018 21:49

Almost this exact scenario has happened to me. I wasn’t grieving but did have serious mh issues. I stole something stupid, was caught and police called. They made me pay for the item and I also signed something and they took down all my details (address, job, everything) but I was in such a state that I couldn’t remember later whether I had actually been “arrested” or cautioned, or something else. Fast forward 8 years and I was stable, married and a mother and got a new job. I was already in my previous job (which had required a dbs) before this incident occurred. Obviously as part of the process I had to have a new dbs done - suddenly remembered what I had buried in my past and felt sick with worry for the days waiting for it to come through. Would not have been able to do my job with any sort of criminal record.
It didn’t show anything at all.
Try not to worry.

Studentnurse1981 · 13/09/2018 22:15

Thank you hereiamitsme

OP posts:
Thatssomebadhatharry · 13/09/2018 22:24

You really need to forgive yourself now.

Studentnurse1981 · 14/09/2018 09:42

JUst checked the progress of my dbs check. I sent it off on Monday and it's now at the final stage which is checking the local police records. I hope because it's gone through so quick is a good sign but I am feeling so so anxious now ? How will I now if anything has shown up ? All 3 other stages says completed but does not say if it's clear or I have a record ? Gosh I hate this it's making me ill

OP posts:
Hereiamitsme · 14/09/2018 10:26

I don’t think I knew it was clear until I received a letter in the post saying so. I know it’s very stressful, waiting, but that’s all you can do. Try and do something else to distract yourself. I’m so sure you will be clear.

MereDintofPandiculation · 14/09/2018 10:31

ONS stats show that 1/3 of men have received a criminal conviction (not counting driving offences) by the age of 30. Although the proportion is lower for women, that's still an awful lot of people. The country couldn't run of all of them were automatically banned from nurse training.

You on the other hand haven't had a conviction, haven't received a formal caution, and in any case it's for a crime which is pretty petty in the grand scheme of things. What you did was wrong, but I doubt that there's a single person alive who hasn't done something wrong in their life (whether it's shop lifting, taking an opportunity to avoid paying for a train ticket, or something non-criminal like deceiving someone).

Allnightlong2016 · 14/09/2018 10:42

Hi OP

I am a nursing home manager and have employed nurses before who have had something like a shoplifting on their DBS. It has always been before they started their training and they have gone on to qualify and get jobs with no problems. I doubt very much that it would show on DBS the situation you described but even if it did I would not foresee any issues. I have to complete a risk assessment for someone with a record but that’s all.
I hope all goes well with your training.

Zfactorstar · 14/09/2018 10:50

You need to calm down and relax. It's not going to show up if the department store didn't want to press charges. I would be more concerned about your mental health right now. A lot of people have done stupid shit (hell, I've been arrested twice) and gone on with it. It doesn't make you a bad person. Just a person.

Studentnurse1981 · 14/09/2018 11:12

Xfactorstar will your arrest mean you will have a record so will show in a dbs check ? Once I get this back I know il be fine . I'm just super anxious as I want to be a nurse so bad

OP posts:
Zfactorstar · 14/09/2018 11:20

I'm American so things are different here. Short story no. One of my offences was very minor so everything dropped when I paid a fine. The other was more serious but I got lenency because I was a dumb college kid who messed up. Nothing shows up on any background check. Even if they do, something like shoplifting is a victimless crime. Not going to bar employment or school. You'll be fine. Trust me. A lot of us out there have something on our records (I highly doubt you do.)

Swipe left for the next trending thread