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Original poster

To be upset friend has ‘abandoned’ us on holiday

540 replies

Abandonedabroad · 12/09/2018 22:20

My mum has kindly paid for me and my two year old DD to go on holiday to Majorca for my birthday present. I’m a lone parent on a low income and haven’t had a holiday abroad for years nor am I likely to be able to afford one for several more so it’s a huge treat and I have been looking forward to it for many months. My mum has paid for the accommodation for me, DD and a friend and flights for me and DD so friend only had to pay for her flight. I invited one of my best friends to come along. I’ve known her for 13 years, trust her completely, have been on holiday with her before and have never had so much as a cross word let alone an argument with her. She adores DD and is great with her.

Friend wanted to hire a car which I wasn’t bothered about, but she was keen and I offered to go halves but she said she was happy to pay for it as she was getting the holiday free. On that basis I decided to bring DD’s (big, heavy) car seat as it seemed tricky to book one for the hire car and after getting advice on here seemed a better idea overall.

We flew out two days ago. DD had never been on a plane before and was tearful and clingy so it was a huge help to have friend there and would have been a nightmare without her.

We’ve all three of us been suffering with a cold/chesty cough thing since being here but not incapacitated and everyone has been up and about and functioning ok.

Today friend went out for a few hours and on her return announced that she was feeling too unwell, the bed wasn’t comfortable enough and she was going home. I was just in shock and tried asking why but friend just kept repeating she felt ill and was leaving. I got quite panicky and angry and we argued but she’s gone. She took the car seat out of the hire car, brought it up to the apartment and left in the hire car.

I’m just in shock. There’s eight days left of the holiday, I’ve got more luggage than I can carry and I’m on my own with a two year old.

No other friends can come out at short notice.

My boyfriend can’t leave to come here as he’s housesitting. He called my friend to try to figure things out and she said she felt terrible but she had to be by herself and had been dealing with stress building up for a while. I feel bad that she isn’t feeling good but I’m hurt and angry that she’s left me in this situation. I haven’t heard from her since she left this afternoon.

What the fuck do I do? I’ll have to get a taxi to the airport when the time comes but not sure how to book one, it’s a small town and my Spanish is not great.

I would come home early but a) my mum has paid for this and would be really upset so I’m going to have to brave it out and say I had a brilliant time so as not to hurt her feelings and b) leaving early doesn’t actually solve any of the problems of carrying all the stuff and dealing with DD on my own on the plane (she has already informed me several times that she does not like the plane and isn’t going on it 😐) so I might as well stay till the end.

I’m just so bewildered and shocked and perhaps I am being selfish if friend is having some kind of crisis but I just don’t feel like speaking to her again after this

OP posts:
ChangerChangerson · 13/09/2018 09:21

for a single parent to be flapping about luggage and taxis sounds odd

Doesn't sound odd to me. The OP has had this situation suddenly thrust on her, it would take many people aback.

PorkFlute · 13/09/2018 09:27

Not read the whole thread but google how to book a taxi. The driver and staff at the airport will help with luggage if you need it.
It sounds as though you were left in the lurch because your friend would have been mothering you?
Surely you can comfort your own child for a 2 hr flight?
Why would you have to pretend to have enjoyed your holiday? You have a week away with your child - enjoy it!
Disappointing that your friend has taken unwell - either mentally or is physically worse than you thought or both. But it doesn’t have to spoil your holiday with your child.

flamingofridays · 13/09/2018 09:35

surprised at all the sympathy for the friend!

poor friend getting a free holiday! nobody made her go, and as for saying the 2yo must of made her ill! Christ it could have been anyone on the plane couldn't it.

she's a shitty friend for upping and leaving like that. no matter how much of a shit time I was having I wouldn't leave my best friend in a foreign country on her own!

LoniceraJaponica · 13/09/2018 09:36

"no matter how much of a shit time I was having I wouldn't leave my best friend in a foreign country on her own!"

Absolutely this ^^

Nikephorus · 13/09/2018 09:36

What MsHomeSlice has just written! It is daunting being abroad when you're faced with a situation you weren't expecting & I bet a lot of posters here would actually have a temporary minor panic despite how superior they claim to be. Hope you have a good time out there despite your absent friend.

IrmaFayLear · 13/09/2018 09:37

This reply has been deleted

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PierreBezukov · 13/09/2018 09:37

I assume youll be managing a buggy as well as a heavy car seat? That will be hard. But it's only one flight and you can book the car seat through and abandon the buggy at the plane. Just get to the airport with plenty of time to spare.

As to the poster that said you shouldn't have brought the car seat, I completely disagree. We have done a lot of travelling and car hire with children and you can never rely on hiring safe and appropriate car seats abroad, whereas it is free to bring your own.

Katinkka · 13/09/2018 09:41

I would abandon the car seat if it was me, and anything else I could live without. Good luck

eggstoast · 13/09/2018 09:42

Send message to your host. And maybe if you try to get out and about a bit you’ll get chatting with someone that can advise about the taxis.
Try not too worry and make the best of what’s left of your holiday.

Witchofzog · 13/09/2018 09:45

I agree that a good friend should not have just upped and left. Particularly as the holiday had been paid for by the op's mum. At the bare minimum she should have offered to take the bloody car seat back with her.

Op I hope you get this sorted. You will be surprised how helpful people can be. I would check to see if you can be fast tracked through security to make this easier. And try to enjoy your holiday. You are there now so try to make the most of it.

PorkFlute · 13/09/2018 09:46

To be fair the op doesn’t know how I’ll te friend was. Just because they had the same bug it doesn’t mean the friend wasn’t worse affected. And the thought of staying in the heat with disturbed sleep might have been too much. People get ill. Her friend wasn’t responsible for looking after her and her child!

Jessbow · 13/09/2018 09:49

I wouldnt be surprised to find friend at the airport to fly home sat next to you. Even out of season, its quite difficult to rock up at the airport and fly home if you are not booked on a flight.

Wouldnt be surprised to find she has found cheap accommodation on the island until she flies home as pre arranged

itbemay · 13/09/2018 09:49

If you download the air bnb app you can type a message to your host and it automatically translates it, ask them to book you a taxi, that's what we did and they were more than happy to help.

piscis · 13/09/2018 09:51

I'm spanish. That text is fine :)

Branleuse · 13/09/2018 09:53

If my friend had left me by myself with a toddler with no explanation, abroad , and fucked off home, she had better have a damn good excuse if she ever wanted to rekindle a friendship.
Fuck finding out if she is ok.

DarthLipgloss · 13/09/2018 09:56

Have a look online and see if there is an english speaking or expat group for the area, ask their advice re places to take your daughter.
When mine were little bar complex things with play areas were good, there will be people to talk to and kids for dd to play with....and wine..

Branleuse · 13/09/2018 09:59

I do think you can salvage this though. Go to the beach lots, do some trips out. Relax a lot x

IrmaFayLear · 13/09/2018 10:00

Unless the friend's mother dropped down dead, she should have stuck it out.

If she were really ill she couldn't have driven off to the airport anyway. A very bad cold, let alone flu, renders one incapable of doing anything except curling up in bed, and if she had d&v she'd be terrified of being more than 3cm away from a bathroom.

Likewise "mental health issues" as some posters keep insisting the friend was suffering from. The friend is well enough to drive to the airport, negotiate a return flight and get back home, but she isn't well enough to stick out a week she has committed to with friend and toddler? Something doesn't add up here.

Halfahunnerstillastunner · 13/09/2018 10:00

I don't know who advised you to take the car seat, but it's a bit over the top to take one, you can hire them.

@fieryginger did you miss the bit where OP is a single parent on a low income and is only having this holiday cos her Mum paid? So why the hell would she want to incur extra costs hiring a car seat when she has one? She's said she's on a tight budget!

crumble82 · 13/09/2018 10:01

I haven’t read the whole thread so sorry if you’ve sorted this mess out but I’ve just got back from Majorca. We were staying 45 min out of palma and to book a taxi to the airport we used this number: 0034971235544, or if you’re near Andraxt 0034971136398. Both soeaka bit of English but make sure you book your taxi the day before. If you’re still unsure find a tourist information office and ask them to help.

I recently travelled on my own with my 2 little ones. I was dreading it but everyone was so helpful. Airport staff whisked me through queues and random passengers carried my bags, it was easier than travelling with DH. Trust in the kindness of strangers, you’ll be fine.

LoniceraJaponica · 13/09/2018 10:03

" If you’re still unsure find a tourist information office and ask them to help."

That is a really good idea. It helps to talk to someone in person rather than on the phone or online.

NoSleepzzzz · 13/09/2018 10:05

What is it so odd that a single parent would feel daunted by this scenario? Surely as a single parent you're thrown into many situations that you learn to deal with through experience because you have no choice but deal with it. That doesn't mean all single parents are unflappable or should be expected to be unflappable.

Branleuse · 13/09/2018 10:10

I would be massively upset by this

PorkFlute · 13/09/2018 10:10

It’s disappointing that her friend has taken ill but it’s only a catastrophe because it seems like the friend was practically 100% responsible for looking after the op and her child and practicalities of the holiday.
The op now has to be the adult that’s all.

Cagliostro · 13/09/2018 10:13

Here's what I would remember, if I were you.

In ten years, this will be a terrific adventure of a story to tell your tearful 12 year old, who doesn't understand why her very best friend just did something she felt was hurtful -- left the slumber party early, maybe.

What will you want to tell her that you did, on this trip? She probably won't remember. Fill this one with photos and memories that later on, you can show her as an example of her mother's resilience and pluck. You want to be the mom who kept going no matter what. I promise, that'll be the lesson you'll want to be able to hand down about this in ten years' time, when you can laugh about it.

Lovely kind post 💐

Best of luck OP