I'm probably BU, but I think it's unfair.....

[TawnyTeal]

I'm feeling very frustrated and annoyed with my OH, but he is so convinced I'm being unreasonable that I am now doubting myself.....

I've typically done most/all of the cooking. It has previously been fine - I enjoy it (mostly), and have had the time to be the one planning and cooking. Things have changed now, not the least due to a very active 2 year old and some changes to my health issues/medical conditions.

So, we discussed sharing the cooking/meal preparation responsibilities, and agreed to start off with OH cooking 2 nights a week. All good the first week, but then came the rub....

When I cook/plan, I often make a double amount so that I can freeze half to use as a meal for the next week or as a base to make a different meal later in the week.

OH, however, has decided that on his nights to cook, he can just take out one of the meals from the freezer (that I prepared!) and use it for dinner. So in effect, I am doing all the planning and cooking - he is just defrosting/reheating my cooking, and I then have to cook something else on day I was going to use that meal from the freezer!

So, AIBU to feel that this is unfair? Or am I being precious?

YANBU op. That is just cheating. It would drive me crackers.

He’s being a CF.

Work a rota and state which nights he will be COOKING. Which includes planning, buying, making and clearing up the cooking mess. The other person can clear the dishes.

If he refuses to play ball then so do you and stop serving him a meal on your nights.

If you require more tips on punishing a CF let me know, my DH was elected CF of the year last Christmas!

My ex was able to cook simple meals until we had children, after which his abilities gradually dwindled away to nothing.

I don't believe your dh is too stupid to see your point. I think he's too stupid to see why it's a good idea to make an effort in your marriage.

My bf can't cook. Yet he manages to make us dinner dinner several times week. He knows how to mash potatoes, he is able to put sausages in the oven. he can boil water and add gravy granules. Boom. Bangers and mash. It's a meal. It's an easy meal and all you have to do is heat it up but it is still a meal that is "self made".

I hate meal planning and I got annoyed for being the one to do it. Now he does the Sainsbury's order. He adds the basics needed each week. His 3 meals. And then I add my 4 meals. This works nicely.

Your husband is being an ass about it. He knows what he is doing.

You need to tell him to stop. The point of the freezer dinners will be to help you when you are feeling too ill to cook. He is a total CF for using your dinners in this way.

Insist her always cooks, and makes extras and he can use his when he has a busy day! FFS I would be fuming if I was medically unwell and my dh was behaving like this on his cooking days.

Having read your OP, I can see your point but I wouldn't have automatically thought the food in the freezer was 'your's' . In fact, that seems a bizarre concept to me but I can see I'm in the minority. I think it has been a misunderstanding between 'share the cooking' and 'take turns putting a meal on the table'. But surely it's a misunderstanding that's easy enough to clear up. . .

I'd stop batch cooking and stop cooking for him entirely. He knows exactly what he's doing. He doesn't give a shit. He's passive aggressively punishing you. He knows this, too.

I do most of the cooking because I’m fussy! I quite like cooking too.
My husband however does all the post dinner clearing up which I hate doing.

Sometimes I’ll half cook something and he’ll finish it. Like the other day I made the base of a cottage pie and he made the mash and put together for me coming home from work on Monday.

What a tool ☹️

It’s really nothing to do with cooking at all, is it? It’s to do with him refusing to share the load equally, with his wife.

there is no way he doesn't get it, no-one is that stupid.
I agree with pp that said he's gaslighting you and it's clearly working because you're asking here

He's a twat