Told him to PISS OFF!!

[Aprilsinparis]

Had yet another phone call telling me that my internet had been hacked by someone in America, and if I hand over my computer access to this person, they could "fix it". I told him I am sick to death of these scams, he told me to shut up, and I told him to PISS OFF! AIBU to think they will probably keep ringing all the time because I lost my temper.

Several posters have said about putting a child on

I had a similar problem a while back after four phone calls i got very very angry and used very rude language . DH answered the next call to his amusement it was the same caller complaining to him about my abusive behaviour ! To which he replied "you should try living with her " Ha ! ha ! ha !

I get all the usual calls, the ones from "Microsoft" I say, "windows, there's nothing wrong with my windows, I can see out of them quite clearly" or else I say "ooh Microsoft, great my husband is CEO of the company, can you put him on please".

One lady I put the phone by the speaker and played her Radio 2 for a while, she seemed to like it as she kept talking.

The other day I had one ring me about my gas. So I asked him if he was going to supply me with gas and how he was going to get it into my house as there is no gas supply here.

If they claim to be calling about my BT broadband, I say but Im not with BT I'm with EE (not real company) and then they say, oh yes but I am calling from EE!

One caller said he was calling about problems with my computer, so I said "ooh, do you want my credit card details, how about the PIN number"? He replied, "no I want to fk you, I want to your pussy". Best offer I had had in a while, but I turned him down .

The last one I had, said he was calling about my phone line, so I told him that I didn't have a phone. He apologised for bothering me and hung up

I only ever do this with the genuine scam calls, not the sales calls, although they are annoying, they are actually doing a job, not trying to scam. Sales calls I just say Not Interested Thanks and hang up.

Unfortunately, people DO get taken in, and do progress to setting up bank accounts, sharing their passport details...

You'd think 'no-one would be so stupid'. But I know intelligent people who have fallen for it.. You're taken through a series of procedures on your computer that you don't understand. You get punch-drunk. Your mind goes numb. You just do whatever illogical thing they TELL you to.

The Indian sounding computer scam told me ...fuck you.

I had kept him going for a while and was using my DC's My First Laptop. When I was asked what I could see on the screen I told the truth...a Monkey on a spaceship

BT Call Guardian has put a stop to them now.

Other gems include...Who provides your electricity to your house ? 'The wires'

The accident you had...DS falling off his bike..the treatment...kissing it better and Mickey Mouse plaster

My sister just burps down the phone at these people.

Someone I know played along for a while until they asked for some password, at which point he told them it was "F-U-C-K-O-F-F". They never rung back.

And years ago my DGM kept a whistle by the phone (she was in a high authority position on the council at the time and kept getting awful calls) to blow at cold callers. It worked a treat until a friend called with a cold, she didn't recognise their voice because they were so stuffed up, she blew the whistle at them and heard "yawningGM, what's happened?!"

What really makes me sick about these people is when they call on elderly and more vulnerable people. I rang my mum one day and she told me she’d had a call from their service provider telling them their internet wasn’t working. Me and DP were shouting down the phone ‘it’s a scam’! I had to explain to her quite a few times. I was terrified she’d give information to them unwittingly.

@Wooly thoughts I refuse to talk to anyone who has the call guardian / call screening in place. I won't call a friend of mine because of it. I just think its totally anti social. Much better to learn to just ignore the cold callers

Well, that would certainly sort real friends out. Anyone who gets offended by steps taken to maintain my peace of mind in my own home ain't a friend. I would simply appreciate the annoyance that they must have been through that they needed to install such a option and continue. You obviously don't give a shit about the person you call 'friend'.

I pass the phone to my 3 year old and let him talk to these people. Hopefully they soon get the message

My husband just loudly goes "bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah" into the phone until they hang up. He works from home, for his own company, and uses the line for business calls, so the first couple of times I heard him do it I was very confused. We haven't had a nuisance call for ages.

Oddly, they tend to apologise to me and go away if I tell them I'm in the middle of cooking and I'm at a really delicate stage and could they call back.

I once had a British guy ring me up and got quite abusive when I wouldn't change my broadband/gas/buy his whatever - I explained that I couldn't possibly make a decision like that without consulting my DP, I would be livid if my DP did something without discussing it with me. He got the right arseache. I assume he's single.

So am I, but that's not the point.....

The last one I had was a recording, as soon as I said no to the 'you were in a car accident' question, the recorded voice then asked me about the workplace accident I'd had. I just put the phone down.

Any more accident calls, say this:

I had the "TPS" ring me yesterday. She told me that for a small fee they could stop any nuisance calls.

Then asked if I had had any nuisance calls recently.

"Yes, this one. Now fuck off."

They haven't called back... :)

I had the call about a serious problem with my computer, (from a foreign person with fairly poor English. He wanted to fix it for me, before my computer closed down. I feigned horror and worry, and managed to keep him on the phone for about 15 minutes pretending to be extremely thick.... as others, I did all the tapping on my keyboard so he could hear, and eventually he asked me to look and tell me what I could see? I told him "my computer screen" - and he said "and the windows?" and I told him, Yes, I can see the windows, although I cannot see out of them, as they have not been cleaned for over two years.... long pause, and I thought I had fooled him into believing I was just a VERY thick secretary (this was at work) ... and then he calmy said "I want you to type out this code, which will fix the problem" ... (I typed a load of numbers, but jotted down the code he gave me) ... it was F.U.C.K.O.F.F.Y.O.U.F.U.C.K.I.N.G B.R.I.T.I.S.H.B.A.S.T.A.R.D.!!! and then he put the phone down. ha ha... so although I managed to waste a good deal of his time, he did manage to get the last laugh!

My parents have BT Call Guardian and swear by it, when the phones got hit by lightning they bought another set as they wouldn't be without it now. They got absolutely fed up with answering the phone several times a day to complete crap calls. When somebody rings, they only have to announce themselves the first time, after that they will be accepted and the number can be stored.

For the serious problems with my computer calls, I always say 'thank god you've phoned - let me go and find my computer and I'll switch it on.'
Then leave the phone on the desk until they hang up.
When they phone back, I say - 'why did you cut me off? I've put my computer away - let me go and get it again.....'
Rinse and repeat

I get lots of ones, where for a fee I can get all nuisance calls blocked.... from a nuisance caller. This scam I imagine, works well. You pay what I imagine to be a relatively small fee and they’re on to the next person. In the past I’ve kept some going for ages. I otoh have been given a BT reference. Dd hates them so I tend to hang up quite quickly and dial 1572.

I had one the other day told me they had put malware on my phone and had recorded a private video of me. Good luck with that one I’m very boring tbh

I had repeated abusive phone calls from the person I gave short shrift to once, they kept phoning me to tell me to f* off! I kept telling they they’d called me! I ended up calling the police as advised by BT (not emergency obvs) though as it got so abusive ridiculous and it just clogged up the line. Police could do nothing and the calls ended eventually. Just hang up.

I got one yesterday saying I'd been in an accident. I just said in a very low voice. "Oh it wasn't an accident, but I didn't know there was any witnesses, what did you say your name and company was" she slammed the phone call.

I just say hello, hello, hello...I can't hear you, and then hang up.

My parents got the TPS one but fortunately I answered the phone, he got quite arsy when I wouldn't give him their card details. They make me so cross.

I had loads of car insurance ones , drove me a bit mad. The best was one from a gentleman in India who was so far fetched that I laughed and he went totally mad at me! Yelling and making threats, calling back over and over again...
Total loon

I had a cold caller who told me that he couldn’t remove my number from his company’s call list unless I gave him my postcode - I thought this was utter bollocks, and we went round in circles for a while until I got bored and put the phone down on the table next to me, so he could carry on arguing with thin air.

Eventually he gave up, and hung up - and then, a few minut s later, th phone rang again, and I just knew it would be him again, so I answered the phone in French, and claimed that I definitely couldn’t speak English. He gave up and didn’t ring again.

Another one - not a cold call, but one of those people who waylay you in the shopping centre to get you to try their nail care system or moisturiser or whatever - the chap came up to me and started his spiel, and I just looked at him, and, in my best BBC English, said ‘I’m sorry - I don’t speak English’ - his bafflement was very amusing.