Told him to PISS OFF!!

[Aprilsinparis]

Had yet another phone call telling me that my internet had been hacked by someone in America, and if I hand over my computer access to this person, they could "fix it". I told him I am sick to death of these scams, he told me to shut up, and I told him to PISS OFF! AIBU to think they will probably keep ringing all the time because I lost my temper.

"No, I don't have a computer
No, I don't have an iPad
No I don't have any sort of tablet
No, I don't have a mobile
I don't have any sort of phone.
What do you mean, I must have a phone cos I'm talking to you?

I'm not"

Hang up.

I know it's rotten but I actually told one I had died once, they ended the call pretty much instantly and I didn't get any calls from them again

After 6 spam calls on one day, I told an accident-that-wasn't-your-fault woman that she should be ashamed of herself and get a proper job. She cried and said she was at university, that she knew it wasn't good but she needed money. I felt awful and ended up spending the next 20 minutes or so talking with her about her CV, options, how recruitment consultancies work etc. At least she wasn't crying when she got off the phone.

Course you did.

We're still getting calls for the people who moved out of our house almost 11 years ago. Nothing which screams "cowboy company" more than using a database which is over a decade out of date. Or even worse, the ones which start "Can I speak to the homeowner".

I try and string them along. My feelings are that I know it’s a scam and if I can keep them on the line then it’s less time they have to target vulnerable people who don’t know it’s a scam.

You need a whistle by your phone and if they ring back you deafen them, they won't ring after that.

I love the Microsoft calls.
I tell them if someone has managed to hack that then they're impressive as I only have a Mac/iPad/don't own a computer not true of course. They hang up immediately.

DS answered one of these at the weekend. Listened for a few seconds and then said ‘oh piss off, will you?’ before hanging up. On one level I was horrified that my 12 year old had told someone to piss off, on another level I was proud that he already sees through scams.

We had a chat afterwards about maybe just politely saying you’re not interested, while I answered and hung up on the same caller 4 more times because they obviously wanted to engage in a discussion about manners!

Unless you havre a spare 5 mins, Just hang up, or tell them you are reporting them to the TPS. I told one guy not to call me love, as he didn't know me. He swore (quite creatively) and hung up.

I work from home and get 2 or 3 every day. Drives me mad.

My DH goes along with it for fun. He especially likes the car accident ones and bemoans the terrible time he had with the other vehicle and how he's got whiplash and describes the incident in huge and entertaining detail.

He doesn't even drive.

This kind if thing kept happening to me. So I asked Virgin Media who I was with at the time - (fucking useless by the way!) to change our number.

Well things just got worse. They gave us a 'new' number that was recycled, and has been ditched by someone else just 3 weeks before. (Miss Helen Harris.)

Then we got - some 3 to 7 times a day - DEBT collectors asking for this woman, and REFUSING to believe I wasn't her. Also got half a dozen people or more who KNEW her, asking for her, and thinking I was a mate of hers pissing about, pretending I didn't know who she was!

I kept telling the debt collectors that I am NOT Helen Harris. They kept on and on and didn't believe me. They even resorted to threatening me with bailiffs, and demanding to know my address. I said 'well if I AM Helen Harris, you should know it, shouldn't you?!' Stupid cunts.

I actually turned the ringer off on my phone after about 3 months of getting the 'new' number, and started telling people to ring me on my mobile, and only used the landline for long, outgoing calls. At this point, (3 months after getting the 'new' number,) I had had some 250 calls from several different debt collectors, asking for Helen Harris, and refusing to believe I was not her. I left the ringer off for about a month, and I have no idea how many times these arseholes called in the month the ringer was switched off..

A few days after I put the ringer back on, the phone rang ....... A male voice said 'Hello this is 'DRA Debt Collection, can I speak to Helen Harris please.'

At that point I said 'Sorry, she's dead.'

Complete silence for about 10 seconds.

'Ummm, what?'

'SHE'S DEAD!'

'Ummm how???'

'She died in a car crash 2 weeks ago, and we are at her house sorting her stuff.'

What came next shocked me to the core.........

'So who is dealing with her estate?'

All the fucking cunt wanted to know, was who he had to speak to, to get some of the money she owed.

I just said 'my cousin has died, and all you care about is the money she owes you - you absolute cunt.'

Then I hung up, and switched the ringer off again, and rang Virgin Media and told them to change the number again. But again it was a recycled number that someone had only had a few months ago. They said they don't have any 'new' ones.

So I changed provider, and got a shiny new number. Never had any problems, or cold calls, or ANYthing in 3 years!

• Disclaimer, Helen Harris is not the real name, and DRA is a fictional debt collector.

I got these calls constantly for a while. I played a little game with them.

They asked me to start my computer up so I said sure and left the phone on the kitchen counter, went back to cleaning dishes or whatever. After about 15 mins I picked the phone up again and said “oh I’m having trouble getting the computer to load” he said he would wait.

I swept and mopped the floor. 20 minutes later I lifted the phone again and said I was still waiting for the computer to start up. He got a little impatient. He asked if there was anyone there who could help me. I said sure, I’ll get my husband, please hold. I put the phone down and started to clear out the fridge.

15 mins later I lifted the phone, said okay, the computer is loaded what do I do. He started giving me instructions on how to download the software that would allow him access to my computer (oh hell no). I said fine. Let me get that done. I put the phone down and got the duster out for the tops of the cabinets.

15 mins later I lift the phone and tell him I don’t understand the instructions he gave me. He’s getting a little heated by now, his voice is raised. I ask him to repeat himself several times. I tell him I’ll try again. I put the phone down and go to start cleaning in the bathroom.

This went on for some time. He was surprisingly persistent although I’m guessing they don’t manage to catch that many people out so when they think they’ve got one on the hook they keep going until the bitter end.

Eventually the game was spoiled by my husband coming home. I told him what was up and the guy on the line heard us cackling and got very upset. He told me I was wasting his time. At this point I informed him that I was fully aware from the get go that he was a scammer and what fun we’d had, right? He hung up on me and funnily enough I stopped receiving those phone calls. I guess they put a black mark next to my name or something? 😂

The woman who rings me about my car accident is actually a recording with appropriate pauses when she asks the questions.

I just give them careers advice. I get into long conversations about how working in McDonald's is better.

I sometimes keep them talking on the premise that if they are talking to me they aren't scamming some poor old biddy out of her life savings.

The BT ones I always ask for a reference number .

I don't have a reference number madam.

But you must have one, BT is a very organised company, they wouldn't be raising a job order without a reference number.

I am sorry madam, there is no number.

Well I don't see how we can proceed without one, supposing we get cut off and I have to phone BT, they won't know what I'm talking about.....

It can go on for a while........

I used to block numbers on my phone, but am now on BT Call Protect (free). They automatically divert to a message recorder all calls from numbers you have identified yourself, and all the ones on their own blacklist.

It works with spoofed numbers, and number withheld, and foreign numbers.

You might be able to set it up by dialling 1572, but I did it online.

You can listen to the messages, but spammers almost never leave one.

Presumably other telcos do the same.

If an unrecognised call does get through, I let it go to my own answerphone and listen to what they say (if anything).

Another who works from home and is also driven mad by these calls. TPS registered but as others have commented, it doesn't stop the scammers because they don't care.

Thanks to pp for mentioning the BT Call Guardian phones, I'll order one asap. We do have BT Privacy which has helped over the last year because you can block regular offenders but it doesn't stop first time callers or withheld numbers.

I agree that these calls are awful, but the person talking about blowing a whistle loudly down the phone should be ashamed of themselves. You could permanently damage someone's hearing doing that. Pretty harsh punishment for someone who is already doing a shitty job for shitty pay - and something that might come back to bite you, as it's clear intent to harm it could presumably get you arrested.

I have to agree that the whistle down the phone is harsh and out of order. Could damage someone's hearing permanently. I think they are a PITA, but I don't wish them harm.

I worked at a rehab unit and got one of the Microsoft calls ...really rude so after stringing him along because we had several computers and I claimed to be moving in between them (he had told me it was the one I was sat at despite being told at the start that wasn't possible as I was literally stood in the middle of the room) we then passed him between staff all claiming to be sat at a "broken" computer then suddenly remembering they were in a field or sat on the floor ...he got progressively nastier but didn't hang up.

As it happened some clients were queuing on the stairs to speak to staff so eventually one of the team opened the door and said " gentlemen there's a scammer on the phone trying to get money out of a charity what would you like to say to them?"

Held the phone up for ten big burly blokes to yell at the same time "fuck off"

Bear in mind this was a unit that had a heavy amount of serious criminal justice clients in one of the guys said to her " I've been an asshole all my life and nicked anything not nailed down and even I think they are the lowest of the low"

Thanks @GrumpyOlderBloke for the heads up on the TalkTalk CallSafe feature. Didn't even know we had it but I've just turned it on.

My grandma got one of these computer scammer phone calls,

she played along telling him she was doing what he asked,
kept him going to ten minutes or so before saying
"oh i just remembered I don't have a computer"
he promptly told her to piss off and hung up

I've only once encountered the scammer who kept calling back when I said no, and it didn't bother me - I reckoned at least he wasn't scamming someone else.

It was quite ingenious really - we're on TPS, and he phoned to offer an extension so it would cover calls from abroad. I went along with it, till he started asking for details of my bank account and debit card number. I asked why on earth he needed it, given that TPS is a free service - he said he needed to check that it related to the right account. I said that that wouldn't help him check, as the account is in DH's name and he pays the bills on that line. So he wanted DH's details, I said I had no idea. So he went back to needing mine, but still couldn't give any sort of coherent answer about why they would conceivably need it - whilst assuring me that they were totally kosher, they wouldn't be keeping the number, they wouldn't be taking any payments, definitely not. After going round and round that loop a few times, I got bored and said forget it, I wasn't interested - he still desperately tried to keep me on the line, but I put the phone down. He phoned back again immediately, I let it ring for a bit before saying "Still not interested" and put the phone down. After a few more of those attempts, DH picked up the phone and told him to fuck off. And he still kept phoning back, so we put the phone on silent and ignored him.

It still puzzles me what he thought he had to gain by constantly phoning back, it must have been obvious we weren't going to bite.

I really have zero sympathy for them and I have actually done cold calling in the past!!! After a while you get desensitised to the swearing and abuse and it really doesn't bother you in the slightest.

They are scammers to the highest degree, one of the most disgusting things to happen was that we were told to not to sell to anyone with an Asian sounding surname, as apparently they "try to haggle" too much. People would lie about their "customers" surnames just to increase their "bites"; people with less than 5 "bites" in a shift were given a telling off. So fucking outright racist and wrong.

The reward for getting a lot of poor sods to agree to a call back was being allowed a cigarette break.

Most of them are actually set up like a pyramid scheme, at least the one I worked in was. I honestly have so many ridiculous stories from that place from the 2 short months that I worked there.

I did get a £50 bonus for selling a conservatory though.