Taking on a lodger in my house with the kids

[dustiseverywhere]

Hi
Recently separated. We have a spare bedroom in the family home. I am considering renting it out, BUT I am irrationally worried about renting it out to a bloke who ends up creeping into the kids bedrooms at nights. 😐

I know, I know. I think I am feeling generally vulnerable.

AIBU when advertising it NOT to mention that it is a family home? So I don't attract the paedophiles? But then I don't want a twenty-something who is going to be bringing a succession of men into my home. Or even just her boyfriend and then shagging for us all to hear,.

Can you tell I am not enthusiastic about this whole lodger thing? It's financially motivated, obviously, got to find some way of paying the mortgage when the ex isnt,.....Oh, for the love of god, can someone who has done this please advise me how to find a normal non-predatory non-shagging lodger? Where do I advertisers? What references do I ask them for? How do I weed out the weirdos.

I wouldn't take this risk.

Definitely not a male.

I am aware that I sound deranged in my OP. Sorry,
. I think I am still struggling with the whole thing. Help.

Female only

Maybe just clearly specify the type of demographic you are looking for. I suppose you will “interview” them before accepting them so if there are any traits etc you don’t like, just say no

Don't! If you want extra money move to a cheaper house with few bedrooms.
You won't relax with a lodger, neither will the kids. Its not fair on anyone.

I've toyed with the idea of a lodger and had the same worries as you. I think it's more hassle/risk than it's worth with kids in the house.

Maybe you could put female only, and put no overnight guests on the ad? It needs to be made clear early on though.

Also no matter how lovely they are you’re still going to have an extra person living in your house, so just be aware that the dynamic in your house will shift somewhat.

Send a letter to a few schools. A female teacher (so has been checked already) would be ideal.

You might get one that wants term time living only.

Do you have enough space for a single mum and child? I know a couple of people who've done this. Need to be compatible people though.

You don't sound deranged you're being totally sensible. I would just take females in tbh.

I'd move to a smaller and cheaper house. Doesn't sound like a good deal for the lodger, either. I'm female and I'd run a mile from a family house. My DD would, too. A houseshare is generally fairer for the tenants than lodging.

Could you look in to getting students in instead? The local language college near us often need host families to look after the children visiting the U.K. foreign exchange. It wouldn’t be quite as lucrative, but it would be 12-18 year olds so would fit your criteria.

Iv lodged people with children before. Are you in a desirable area? Are there any hospitals, universities or similar nearby? When I was lodging the people advertised that it was a family home and theres clear expectations for a lodger re what that means eg re noise, rights to bring guests home etc. They had so many applicants they were able to pick and choose - I was a social work student so that was a definite factor for people picking me,several of the places I lodged the owners clearly only chose women, mature students, people wanting a 9-5 lodge (eg city workers) or people with kids,themselves (eg a separated parent who wanted a family friendly house where other didn't freak out about the prospect of their kid popping in for half an hour).
Remember if you go for it you can turn anyone down and don't have to give a reason. You get to just say sorry we found someone who was a good fit. So you can explore it without commiting if you're nervous about who will apply.

If the room is far away from yours and your children's rooms, eg if you have a fire door separating you from potential lodger's room and some sort of (quiet, gentle buzzing) alarm or light coming on, which activates when someone uses it, it might be OK. Switched off except when people are going to bed for the night.

Lodger would have to have a key to their room and their own bath/shower room. It would not be very nice for you and your family to be sharing a bathroom with a lodger.

I'd also say fit your bedroom doors, any private rooms like a study, with a lock for when you're all out.

Wouldn't be a good idea for the average three bed semi. Letting through airbnb might be a better idea, you'd earn some money and not be stuck with someone you don't like.

Second the idea of international students.

I actually had a old male lodger growing up with my mum. He never did anything but looking back it was very risky.

Just simple vetting.
Go on Spare room .com
See who you like and looks ok.
Meet them, get references.

Have good boundaries.
If you don't want overnight visitors, say so.
If you don't want smokers, say so upfront. Be clear if they are not allowed to use the lounge.
I've done this a few times and always picked the right fit for my family. I've met some lovely people.

If you want extra money move to a cheaper house with few bedrooms

That's not possible, have only bought the house a year ago and with the current declining house market and the house valuation I received today I would lose about 50k.

Could you look in to getting students in instead? The local language college near us often need host families to look after the children visiting the U.K. foreign exchange. It wouldn’t be quite as lucrative, but it would be 12-18 year olds so would fit your criteria.

This sounds an interesting idea.
Would I need to feed them?
Would I need to drive them places?

Iv lodged people with children before. Are you in a desirable area? Are there any hospitals, universities or similar nearby? When I was lodging the people advertised that it was a family home and theres clear expectations for a lodger re what that means eg re noise, rights to bring guests home etc. They had so many applicants they were able to pick and choose - I was a social work student so that was a definite factor for people picking me,several of the places I lodged the owners clearly only chose women, mature students, people wanting a 9-5 lodge (eg city workers) or people with kids,themselves (eg a separated parent who wanted a family friendly house where other didn't freak out about the prospect of their kid popping in for half an hour).

Hospital is twenty mins away, university 45 mins away.
Is there such a thing as renting Monday - Friday and then the lodger goes elsewhere for the weekend ? Does that limit my market too much?

You could advertise for a week day professional, so you only have someone Monday to Friday

Following with interest as i may do this as have a spare room

If you don't want overnight visitors, say so.
Be clear if they are not allowed to use the lounge.

Do I put this in my original advert or wait until they come to see the room?

And then the female lodger has a boyfriend then what

My friend has lodgers who forgien students at the local college all over 18