Taking on a lodger in my house with the kids

[dustiseverywhere]

Hi
Recently separated. We have a spare bedroom in the family home. I am considering renting it out, BUT I am irrationally worried about renting it out to a bloke who ends up creeping into the kids bedrooms at nights. 😐

I know, I know. I think I am feeling generally vulnerable.

AIBU when advertising it NOT to mention that it is a family home? So I don't attract the paedophiles? But then I don't want a twenty-something who is going to be bringing a succession of men into my home. Or even just her boyfriend and then shagging for us all to hear,.

Can you tell I am not enthusiastic about this whole lodger thing? It's financially motivated, obviously, got to find some way of paying the mortgage when the ex isnt,.....Oh, for the love of god, can someone who has done this please advise me how to find a normal non-predatory non-shagging lodger? Where do I advertisers? What references do I ask them for? How do I weed out the weirdos.

As long as you are straight with what you want you should be ok - but you can't have your cake and eat it unless you are fortunate enough to get someone who lives in a manner you consider bearable. So if you are going to law down the rules make sure it's before - deffo not after. It's unfair on the lodger and a crap situation for you both.

@RebeccaBunchLawyer same! Although I added I just wanted to be able to retire to my room at night (some people want to chat etc).

It's always better to be clear cut in the beginning.

I can't think of anything worse. I could never live with a stranger, especially with children in the house.

About 10 years ago I used to babysit for a single mother with two kids (about 4 and 9 at the time) who had a lodger. The lodger was Spanish and a carer in an old people's home. From what I remember, she wasn't around too much so it didn't make much of a difference to their lives - she was happy living with kids and played with them when she could but the kids understood she wouldn't always want to spend time with them. She lived there for around a year I think. So it is doable, just not ideal I don't think.

I’d contact the university and hospital for healthcare students on placement. Could be an ideal situation - anything from 4 to 12 week placements could be a nice little earner. They could keep irregular hours though - so there could be a wee bit of coming and going. They’d also be CRB/DBS/PVG checked - don’t know where you are in the UK....

I've had one lodger for 3 years and have now taken on a new one. ( She moved in in July)
Has worked really well for my family of myself and kids.
Layout of house does make a difference (mine has two bathrooms so effectively hers and ours) Also her room is ground floor and all the others are top floor so we have a private space.
Happy to answer any questions you may have.

I don’t think you are unreasonable to consider the safety of your children with any lodger.

However I also think that, from the point of view of the lodger, you really aren’t a particularly attractive place to live from what you say. Of course you can have strict house rules, limit access to common areas, etc, but that will need to be reflected in the price. The vast majority of people do not want to live with other people’s children. The various happy scenarios painted of a silent Chinese student or a happy nurse seem a bit more chick-lit than real-life. A five-day a week lodger means you are restricting your income stream by almost 30% of your nights, for example. With the restrictions and preferences, you are going to have to prove it very low to attract anybody. And if the entire purpose is to earn money, have you considered the extra heating, hot water, wear and tear etc costs? I also don’t know how lodging situations affect council tax, or income tax etc.

The one thing that I think might work would be to explore whether you could switch any existing paid childcare arrangements for a live-in au pair. This would seem to be by far the best fit for your needs. However that only works if the au pair would mean you stop paying out fees for after school care and still turn a profit.

By all means, advertise and be upfront about all your considerations. But don’t expect the top market rate in return. Maybe other income streams would be a better investment of your time than seeking a rather unrealistic uncomplaining invisible kosher willing to pay enough to make a difference to your cash flow.

Sorry if I sound harsh. I just think some of the other posters are a bit naive about how difficult it would be to find that perfect person who, most importantly, wants to pay good money to live in a very restricted situation.

Lots of typos, sorry! Prove = price. Kosher = lodger (although maybe your lodger could be kosher too!)

Excellent post by sycamore