WIBU to cancel plans with acquaintances who find us embarrassing???

[toastandjamplease]

DS has been invited to a party at his best friend’s house next weekend. Friend’s mother calls me this morning to confirm times etc. During the conversation, the mother effectively tells me that the other parents from the boys’ friendship group are all invited except us. Ouch.

Thing is, around the same time DS was invited to said party, the mother organised a cinema trip for the two boys and her and me. I thought it was a nice idea so said I would go but after this conversation yesterday, I no longer feel like making the effort with her - she has done something like this before so I don’t think I’m misunderstanding the message. Her son is delightful, so am happy for DS to go to the cinema with them or do anything else in coming years but I think I need to perhaps stick to hanging out with my own rather than DS’ friends :)

Am I right that she has been a bit rude here – not so much about the lack of invite as such but being so upfront in telling me about it! If so, would it be acceptable to send DS on his own to the cinema with them, while I make a lame excuse and settle down with a nice boxed set instead?!

It sounds like at no point has this woman said you're not invited but you've assumed this and now are offended because other people will be there...

Just ring and ask her?

5 pages of drama about nothing that couldn’t be cleared up in a 5 minute phone call!

So at no point did this other person say anything about you being embarassing? You've simply invented this scenario yourself by the sound of it, OP! How is the other person is supposed to deal with something they don't even know about? It's a no-win situation for them!

She obviously does like you - enough to invite you to the cinema.
IF she didn't invite you, it may be because it is a small party and she has known the other friends longer or something.
IF she didn't invite you , better that she doesn't try and hide the invitation, because then it seems like 'behind my back, waaaah'
I wonder if the other friends are saying "why has she invited toastandjam to the cinema, she hasn't invited us!"

How old is your DS and what time is the party and what sort of party? Afternoon and the kids are 4, or a dinner party and the kids are 16?

It all makes a difference.

And as for refusing to go to the cinema, that would be cutting off your nose to spite your face, and I personally can't be doing with people who take things personally or are needy or high maintenance, and to flounce over one invite because you didn't get invited to a different event, when you are parent-friends not longstanding best buddies (as far as I can tell) comes across as such.

Reading this I assumed you are invited but she just hadn't made it clear. Why don't you just text her to check whether she's expecting you to drop DS off or for you to stay also?

It honestly sounds to me as though she were trying to reassure you that there will be food you can eat and that you aren't the only vegetarians. It's something I might say as a fellow veggie and I would be a little and sad that you would have thought you weren't invited.