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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is there SO much hostility from men towards women?

111 replies

timetodothis · 10/09/2018 16:09

Especially on the roads.
I'm still shaking from an incident today.
There wasn't enough room for myself and a white van to get through, so I decided to be the bigger person and reversed quite a way back to let him weasle faced little prick through, only for him to wind his window down, shake his fists at me and call me every name under the sun, before screeching off.

I also belong to a running group and lately I've noticed a lot more nastiness towards us, from passing cars and the odd cyclist,along the lines of ''get out of the way you stupid bitch' and 'dumb cunts' and it's nearly always from younger men.

What's going on? Has it always been like this or are things getting worse? Confused
Makes me wonder what they're watching on tv or online to view us in this light.

OP posts:
explodingid · 10/09/2018 16:13

Yes I have noticed this too. Stupid f'ing cunt! Is a favourite all from their car/ van. I thought maybe it was an age thing as I never had any abuse until I hit 45.

inTheBoredroom · 10/09/2018 16:17

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timetodothis · 10/09/2018 16:17

I think 'men' like that hate all women.
Even younger women.
They see women as porn objects or figures of hate.

OP posts:
Allegorical · 10/09/2018 16:17

I had this the other day. I was slightly lost on a busy road with shops. So a slowed down a bit until I found he shop I could turn right into there v tight parking bay. The car behind me started beeping at me and a lad stuck his fingers up at me as he screeched past. No need. I delayed him a few seconds and I had kids in the car. I hate they way men are aggressive towards women from the safety of their car.

timetodothis · 10/09/2018 16:21

Calling someone a "weasle faced little prick" is both lacking en dashes and sexist

I didn't call him that. I thought it. I was angry and upset afterwards.

Did you have right-of-way or did you make a big thing about reversing back?

Doesn't make a difference.

I thought I was doing a nice thing and was fully prepared to do the ''little wave of mutual thanks/sheepish grin' thing and then we both go on our ways, becausehey, we're not robots and we all make mistakes.

I don't get road rage.

OP posts:
TotHappy · 10/09/2018 16:22

This reply has been deleted

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timetodothis · 10/09/2018 16:23

Are you being selfish in your running?

Absolutely not. We always give way to cyclists.
If anything, they don't stick to their cycle paths and won't use their bells.

OP posts:
Djnoun · 10/09/2018 16:23

It does make a difference whether you had right of way Confused

Hereward1332 · 10/09/2018 16:24

Certain men are hostile to women. They are probably also hostile to other men. They are just angry full stop.

timetodothis · 10/09/2018 16:25

I hate they way men are aggressive towards women from the safety of their car

Yes, it's always from the safety of their car or van.

OP posts:
Seniorschoolmum · 10/09/2018 16:26

I’ve run for the last five years and had only one incident, when a car hit me with a wing mirror and didn’t stop. But I didn’t see the driver because I was flat on my face

On the roads though there is definitely more aggression/stress/testosterone. I’ve started avoiding motorways at busy times. There are too many nutters out there, and they do seem to be mostly male.
Don’t know why though.

timetodothis · 10/09/2018 16:27

It does make a difference whether you had right of way

I had right of way.

OP posts:
Grimbles · 10/09/2018 16:27

Just bantz innit?

UnderHerEye · 10/09/2018 16:27

Men are getting more openly aggressive and hostile towards women- and I would bet that this time round it’s mainly to do with the increase in the availability of porn.

(I would also bet that historians could direct us to points in history when misogyny has ramped up as I imagine it’s cyclical)

Look at all the righteous dude bros happy to sell women’s sex segregated spaces down the river with zero consideration as to why these sex segregated spaces exist.

timetodothis · 10/09/2018 16:28

Further up the road, there was a large space that he could have pulled over into, but he raced down so quickly that we met in the middle before I could get to the 'space', for one of us to pull over into.
If that makes sense.

OP posts:
Raven88 · 10/09/2018 16:31

I think some of it is to do with the Incel and MGTOW communities, also the rise in feminism. Not all men hate us but some really do.

juneau · 10/09/2018 16:33

I knew I'd read something about this lately: www.theguardian.com/science/2018/may/16/living-in-an-age-of-anger-50-year-rage-cycle

Men who drive white vans are usually angry, aggressive and obnoxious drivers IMO. Take a deep breath OP and try not to let it get to you. If I had a pound for every time some dickhead in a white van has tried to intimidate me on the road I'd be a wealthy woman.

Nikephorus · 10/09/2018 16:33

But equally on Mumsnet you can find plenty of women who seem to hate men so it's swings and roundabouts. Maybe everyone should try being nice to everyone else?

BackforGood · 10/09/2018 16:34

You encountered one idiot in a van, and have made a leap to that being all men being hostile to women? Hmm
You don't think there is a possibility this particular man was just an aggressive, arrogant bloke who would have behaved the same, whether you were a man or a woman ?
There have always been arrogant, rude people. I've not noticed an increase. I certainly don't notice any difference in aggression when dh or I are driving, or when I'm a passenger in either dd or ds's cars.

timetodothis · 10/09/2018 16:36

Juneau, I'm trying to let it go. What is it about white vans?

OP posts:
juneau · 10/09/2018 16:36

I think too that this generation of young men are the first ones to have had massive amounts of online porn available to them since they were teens and that is bound to warp their minds. I hate that porn is everywhere and available at the click of a mouse. It devastates me that my DSs are going to see that stuff sooner or later and I hate that you're made to feel like a prude these days if you don't embrace porn Sad

CocoCharlie83 · 10/09/2018 16:37

It isn't every man but an lot do. Something about getting behind the wheel of a car just switches something in some men. Some will have that hostility in all parts of there lives but some it just comes out once behind a wheel.

This sort of thing can be a 2 way street men can think 'women driver' (in a bad way) and women can think white van man for example.

corythatwas · 10/09/2018 16:38

Backforgood, what's with the "once incident"? Did you by any chance fail to read the OP: "lately I've noticed a lot more nastiness towards us, from passing cars and the odd cyclist,along the lines of ''get out of the way you stupid bitch' and 'dumb cunts' and it's nearly always from younger men".

DioneTheDiabolist · 10/09/2018 16:38

I'm sorry you experienced this OP. It may be worth checking if yours is police force trialling Misogyny as a Hate Crime. If so, report it.

YeTalkShiteHen · 10/09/2018 16:38

Since I’ve been learning to drive (aye I know I’m way too old but fuck it, now or never) I have noticed that the vast majority of bullying/aggressive drivers are men. Either white van man types (not necessarily a white van right enough) OR middle aged professional in some kind of expensive German car.

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