Why is there SO much hostility from men towards women?

[timetodothis]

Especially on the roads.
I'm still shaking from an incident today.
There wasn't enough room for myself and a white van to get through, so I decided to be the bigger person and reversed quite a way back to let him weasle faced little prick through, only for him to wind his window down, shake his fists at me and call me every name under the sun, before screeching off.

I also belong to a running group and lately I've noticed a lot more nastiness towards us, from passing cars and the odd cyclist,along the lines of ''get out of the way you stupid bitch' and 'dumb cunts' and it's nearly always from younger men.

What's going on? Has it always been like this or are things getting worse?
Makes me wonder what they're watching on tv or online to view us in this light.

To be honest a lot of women get vexed when they face the same level of criticism for their errors as men. Equality means equal criticism when you drop the ball.

timetodothis I don't know! Maybe it's in the job description?

"Only drivers who are aggressive, habitual tail-gaters, honkers of horns, wavers of middle fingers and misogynists will be considered, because you will be driving a white van

BackforGood, I haven't said that I think ALL men are hostile towards women, but I have definitely noticed (as have others) that there's an increase in very open hostility, from younger men in general.

younger men in particular.

@Seniorschoolmum
“On the roads though there is definitely more aggression/stress/testosterone. I’ve started avoiding motorways at busy times. There are too many nutters out there, and they do seem to be mostly male.
Don’t know why though.”

I have found this to be the case too ( not sure why this is either) Sure, there’s the occasional aggressive female driver out there but the level of aggression seems more higher from male drivers who seem to flip at the most minor of perceived sights.

One recent incident was when a car gestured for me to pass in a narrow road- as I went past I put my hand up to thank him and smiled only to be met by a torrent of abuse followed by something along the lines of ‘say thank you, you bitch!’

... Nice, given that I’d actually done this. Most likely, he hadn’t seen me put my hand up at that particular moment but there was still no need to scream a torrent of abuse at me!

porn culture, patriarchy, rape culture etc. blah blah.

Do you think you're a nice person? Calling someone a "weasle faced little prick" is both lacking en dashes and sexist.

Did you have right-of-way or did you make a big thing about reversing back?

Are you being selfish in your running?

For you to make this a 'feminist issue', are you running in all-women groups? Why? Because you like segregated spaces? When peeople have self-segregation, it's a well-known phenomena for hostility toward the out-group to become apparent. Could this be what's happening here?

Well, there's your answer OP. If a man's angry at you it must be your fault.

First law of misogyny: Women are responsible for what men do.

SpringSnow going for a run is an error of the gravity that it deserves to be met with verbal abuse/rape threats?

I’ll let my husband know, he runs the same route as me. Funnily enough nobody yells abuse at him for jogging round a park. It’s strange that nobody has yet thought fit to pull him up on this error, but men shout stuff at me all the time.

Do you think you're a nice person?

Seriously?

In the situations you describe men can be similarly aggressive to men too.

If a man is rude to a woman, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s sexist (though he could be), just an aggressive twat. He may use gender-specific language in his abuse, but he’d use similarly gender-specific language for the man he’s being aggressive to - I’ve seen it plenty of times!

Some men have always been aggressive to men and women... Just look at history books! To blame ‘pornification’ as though this is some kind of new phenonmon and that all men were gentlemen in the good old days is nonsense.

I think they're more aggressive to women because they don't have to worry so much about retaliation. They'd likely be just as aggressive to men if they weren't such cowards.

are you running in all-women groups? Why? Because you like segregated spaces?

So a woman cant go out running with a few friends without "segregating herself" now can she? Bollocks.

Germaine Greer c1971 'Women have no idea how much men hate them.' Plus ca change.

But equally on Mumsnet you can find plenty of women who seem to hate men so it's swings and roundabouts

God I hate arguments like this.

Wasn't it Germaine Greer who said something like..women don't realise how much men hate them? It's so true.

Cross post!

Maybe it depends on where you live?

I live in a London borough and worked as a Lollipop Lady for a few years.

Tbh, the rise in aggressive behaviour/language from drivers in general, is pretty alarming.

Yes I have noticed with road rages it's usually men. If I cut in front of a man, a few times I had a man rage about it and try get back at me by dangerously driving lol, so pathetic.

Cannot help but have an dislike towards uneducated white van men. They are the worse and most stupidest.

I think you’re right. I hope you have calmed down from your encounter- it’s hard when it’s so unexpected! I had a lorry driving man yank my car door open to f and blind at me (in front of kids) when I had done nothing wrong!

The thing bored says about not running in female only groups is bollocks. At running club there are a few groups that often only have women in cos women are slower than men, generally. Sometimes the fast group only has men depending on who is there.

I think it’s the patriarchy that leads to some men being such idiots. They are annoyed that a female isn’t doing exactly what they want, when they want it. If they shout/swear at a man, they might get their head caved in. As we are physically weaker we are much less of a threat, so I think they see us as fair game to abuse as much as they like, without fear of recrimination.

I am not 100% convinced that the scenario described was sex based hostility, I suspect that the wanker in the van would have been aggressive to whoever was in the car, male or female

Not denying misogyny - just suggesting that we need to be careful in ascribing all antisocial behaviour to this

OP you are now getting the archetypal response when a woman complains about men's treatment of women- it is your fault, you must have done something to provoke him. I would leave the thread. It's disgusting.

Why did you move if you had right of way?

If they shout/swear at a man, they might get their head caved in. As we are physically weaker we are much less of a threat, so I think they see us as fair game to abuse as much as they like, without fear of recrimination.

I hadn't thought of that.
We are a safe bet to bully and intimidate.

Why did you move if you had right of way?

Because I could see a bit where the road widened, which would have given us both the option of moving over, but as I approached it, he sped up really fast and it ended up that there was no room for either of us to go on.
I then decided to reverse, because one of us had to. He kept driving really closet owards me. His bumper was virtually touching mine. It's as if he was pushing me.
It's difficult to describe it.

Without doubt some men only shout at women because they think they're a safe bet to not retaliate.

But you don't know this guy doesn't shout at everyone who annoys him on the road.

How can you tell if a man driving a white van is ‘uneducated’? Do only ‘uneducated’ men drive them? Do ‘educated’ men not display anger or hostility?

Why did you move if you had right of way?

Considering his aggressive behavior it was a good job I did get out of his way.
Looking back on it, I don't think he would have had any qualms at getting out of his van and continuing the abuse at close quarters.