Why is there SO much hostility from men towards women?

[timetodothis]

Especially on the roads.
I'm still shaking from an incident today.
There wasn't enough room for myself and a white van to get through, so I decided to be the bigger person and reversed quite a way back to let him weasle faced little prick through, only for him to wind his window down, shake his fists at me and call me every name under the sun, before screeching off.

I also belong to a running group and lately I've noticed a lot more nastiness towards us, from passing cars and the odd cyclist,along the lines of ''get out of the way you stupid bitch' and 'dumb cunts' and it's nearly always from younger men.

What's going on? Has it always been like this or are things getting worse?
Makes me wonder what they're watching on tv or online to view us in this light.

When I had my first Proper Job in London and a spritely 21 (more than a decade ago), I still had some dicknose bash my shins so he could get on the Tube first. Wasn't even fucking rush hour.

So, I don't think it's an age thing, nor a new thing.

You're right, OP. I commute into the City every day, train and tube, and have done so for many years. I have noticed a marked increase in male to female hostility. I mention this to my DH on a fairly regular basis. I was walking along the street recently and because I had the audacity not to jump out of the way of a guy bowling aggresively along the pavement, he barged into my shoulder, injuring me. Would he have done that to a 6ft well built man? Would he fuck!

I think its the growing INCEL culture that is fueling this, you only need 5 minutes on REDDIT to tell you that a LOT of men really do absolutely loathe women.

But white van drivers are twats to both men and women

I stopped running because I was sick of comments from men. They included lads (not running, just standing about in groups) coming to run beside me and asking my name and how I was. I was parked up outside a shop in a bay today, I was stationary because my contact lense had came out and I was putting a new one in. A van came right up to my back bumper and beeped, as if for me to move forward. There was room in front, and obviously he needed extra space in the space behind me. So he beeped at me and started waving his arms. I decided that I didn't feel much like being intimidated so stayed put until he drove off. I enjoy little victories that way, it helps!

Short answer - male privilege has taught them they can treat people, especially women, however they like. It has also taught them women aren't deserving of respect, and that their opinion and actions are far superior to women's.

Just yesterday I was driving home through our little town. Had the roof down, bit of quiet music just enjoying the drive and from the bus stop a man suddenly pulled out in front of me. I'd seen him, he was just sat there and gave no indication he was about to pull out. But I was happy, just pulled back and let him go on his merry way ahead of me.......except he didn't. He proceeded to drive at 10 miles an hour in front of me making rude gestures out his window. So I just ignore, can't be bothered with it anyway. I'm sweaty from my work out and frankly I just wanted to get home to shower and eat.

So anyway this behaviour continued all through town, as you get to my estate there is a double roundabout. Left goes straight on and the right lane goes right into the streets. Well I popped my indicator on to turn and manoeuvred towards the right hand lane and he pulled across and positioned his car in such a way that I couldn't get past. No indication or anything just straddling the two lanes, still I kept my cool and just stopped until with a squealing of tires he speeds off straight ahead with another delightful hand signal.

I was so shocked as I literally had done nothing to warrant it. My husband puts it down to men not liking women driving a car of our calibre, jealousy etc. Maybe, and I have to say recent incidents I've had of road rage are only when I'm in our posh car and not when I'm driving our 7 seater mum mobile so maybe he has a point.

I actually teach a sport which is traditionally seen as a masculine sport and did actually have 1 student join. He was in his 40s and about 2 ft taller than me and he actually wouldn't accept what I would tell him to correct, but would refer to the male teachers who would tell him the same thing.

But equally on Mumsnet you can find plenty of women who seem to hate men so it's swings and roundabouts

I am paraphrasing but there's a great quote about misandry (the hatred of men) vs misogyny (the hatred of women).

Misandrists just want men to leave them alone. They don't want them in their safe spaces, in their faces, or in their beds. Misogynists want harm to come to women and go out of their way on a daily basis to intimidate and hurt them. But they also still want to have sex with them.

There's a story of a MRA today in Australia who, on behalf of 'men's rights' painted a large penis on the memorial of a comedienne who was raped and murdered, just several days after she died. He didn't get jail time. This is make privilege in our world now, and it's frightening, and it should not just be down to women to change this.

I don't think this sort of road rudeness is aimed specifically at women. My dh gets alot of aggression aimed at him when driving as he always drives the speed limit or under. He gets aggression from men and women.

I don't get it as I drive more aggressively and have a smaller car.

Alot of road users are just arses.

Just existing in public seems to be enough to bring their wrath down on your head. I was walking down my street once when a man who was in the passenger seat of a passing car stuck his head out of the window and yelled "Fat fucking bitch!" at me. You can't tell me he would have done that if he'd seen some fat bloke walking by. It is absolutely a gendered thing.

It was a white van that carried out a drive by snow balling on me back in February. It fucking hurt and was humiliating. Most people I told thought it was funny. I wish I got the prick's reg!

@time I also experienced a very similar tirade of verbal abuse from a guy riding a bike. It was really nasty 'think 'stupid little bitch' and 'daft cow' etc.

No need for it. I hate people sometimes. There's no need to be so horrible to other people. Life is hard enough.

It's dreadful. I was parking so the can on the main road had to stop - everyone has to there as you back into the spaces on the parade of shops. It was not my fastest time to park but so what and this man the other week stopped after I had parked, rolled down his window and made gestures about speeding up or something and was really cross.

I am absolutely delighted I rarely get cross and I have 3 sons who don't. It is that atmosphere of calm, enduring things quietly, tolerating things, counting to 10, not losing your temper which for me is one of the nicest things about my home life and how my sons have turned out. I am very pleased. I talk to them a fair bit about men who lose their temper and they have some friends who do. I do say it can be very hard for some men to keep calm.

Another incident about a week ago I was running across a road not in the way of cars at all and one driver slowed down and shouted something - I just feel why canm't I be out there in the public space without having these comments shouted (which tend to come to me more than others because I've had big breasts since I was 14 so men have always regarded me as fair game I suppose. It was even worse when I used to do a lot of cycling and I had really hoped it would have stopped now I am in my 50s but now they just seem to want to laugh or shout at any woman doing anything active when out and about. All very Handmaid's Tale, under his eye stuff.

It is a very very gendered thing. My sons don't get it. They probably run a higher risk of some one punching them in a club but things they take for granted - one likes a run very late on in the dark which I don't think a teenage girl his age would even contemplate - women often can't easily do.

I got a sharp elbow to the face one afternoon from a very buff and strong man who obviously thought I needed brought down a peg or two.
I didn’t know him. I was alone shopping.
It took me a long time to recover from the injustice of being physically assaulted by a stranger for no reason and for him not to have any consequences.
I reported it - security followed him around for a while until he left their store but allowed him to leave. Nobody cared 🤷‍♀️ And I was too distressed to stand up for myself.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it, what kind of person gets pleasure from verbally or physically abusing a total stranger. Some of these stories are just so fucking depressing and this is just a random bunch of people on the internet on this thread in the past hour. This kind of random unpleasantness is clearly quite common

I’m noticing a lot more pavement barging from men, young men too.

It’s depressing, and unacceptable that we all as human beings can’t respect each other.

I respect men, and don’t tar them all with the same brush, but I’ve never been barged by a woman, or have a woman shout at me , follow me when I’m driving, or cat call me when I’m out exercising.

It’s like men feel the need to “own” the outside space and deeply resent women there.

I also think the incel culture is to blame for this lack of human to human respect. Porn as an objectifying agent also twists minds.

I genuinely believe things are getting worse for women as we have parity in pay and opportunities men suddenly are wanting things to go back to the sexist past where they only had to compete with other men for promotion and position in the pecking order.

Maybe they are at last realizing how useless their masculine skills really are in society.
They aren’t the societal glue that women are, and if women can bring home the bacon, and support the family, what use are they?

I do think there’s a crisis in masculinity, and it’s easy to become a scaredy-cat incel and woman hater rather than do the hard work and adapt and grow to find your new meaning in life (and I’m not just talking about getting a few hipster tats and a bushy backwoodsman beard).

Women know who they are, now it’s time for men to go figure out who they are and what their role will be: masculine qualities such as aggression and dominance are no longer acceptable nor needed in a heavily populated, urbanized world.

No wonder men want little wifeys at home with the kids... beats adapting to a new world and changing with the times.
I don’t think men will survive if they insist on trying to keep the old 1950s status quo. Of course that’s what the far right would like.

A lot of women I know have fired their men for being crap and entitled.
Maybe we need a war to cull them?

And even IF the OP had been in the wrong (which she wasn't) - its just not right to talk to other human beings like this. I mean I can understand if the person had done something horrific to the other but little things? Nah. No need for it. As I say life is hard enough.

This is not new - men have hated women since they came into existence.

I was trying to find a parking space along a road to take my baby to the doctor. Male in white can not happy to slow down and kept beeping.

I couldn’t find anywhere so we both stopped next to each other at traffic lights.

Both wound down windows. He shouted various nasty things and did nasty signs.

I smiled and said - you would have a much better day if you relaxed a little. Try to relax.

He was speechless and confused.

I smiled and wound up my window.

We don’t need to react to their behaviour.

:)

God I hate arguments like this.
Why? Because I'm right, there are plenty of women who hate men? And plenty of women who hate women. And ditto men who hate men. You only have to read some of the vitriolic posts on Mumsnet to see that there is a lot of hate around generally.
I’ve never been barged by a woman
Try walking down the pavements round here at school-run time! There are plenty of women who think that you should hurl yourself into the bushes just because they are walking their (equally rude) children to school and don't want to just take up half the pavement. On the rare occasion I meet a child who smiles and says thank you for letting them along a narrow bit first I'm practically ready to hug their mother and tell them what a fantastic job they're doing!

Maybe we need a war to cull them?
Even if that was supposed to be funny it's so not.

I have noticed this

my friend wears hijab and it's ten times worse for her :(

SpringSnow wrote "To be honest a lot of women get vexed when they face the same level of criticism for their errors as men. Equality means equal criticism when you drop the ball"

Sooo ? You live in a parallel universe where women encounter less criticism and aggresion than men? In the universe, I live in, all empirical evidence points in the opposite direction.

@Nikephorus

Your argument that women also hate men reminds me of when people argue that white people can also be victims of racism.

Well, perhaps on an individual level. However, look at society overall and look at institutional racism and look at the patriarchy and look at the balance of power.

But still carry on thinking of the menz won't you...do you also comment that men can be victims of domestic violence?

Why? Because I'm right, there are plenty of women who hate men? And plenty of women who hate women. And ditto men who hate men. You only have to read some of the vitriolic posts on Mumsnet to see that there is a lot of hate around generally

Oh and what you're talking about here is just general rudeness.

Women can be rude to other women but they don't often kill them or attack them.

Women can be rude to men too but again they don't often kill them or attack them.

Women worldwide and throughout history have been raped, murdered, abused and attacked by men purely because they are women. Women have not done the same thing to men.

But still carry on thinking of the menz won't you...do you also comment that men can be victims of domestic violence?
I'll carry on thinking about EVERYBODY if that's okay with you? And are you seriously trying to say that men can't be victims of domestic violence?!!!!
Unless people stop looking at it as being an either/or situation and start seeing it as being an issue of increasing aggression & hostility generally then it's only going to get worse. Just because men have been the aggressors through the ages, and are generally physically stronger, does NOT mean that women can't stoop to the same lows. You only have to read the media every day to see reports of women brawling in the streets and even in the playgrounds! If everybody stopped immediately reacting aggressively to every single perceived slight in their life and tried taking a step back, a deep breath and actually thinking about things objectively (and from the other person's viewpoint too) then maybe we wouldn't have such hostility everywhere online and all the violence offline.

I'll carry on thinking about EVERYBODY if that's okay with you?

Ok. I'll carry on thinking about women. After all sexual assaults against women are nothing short of an epidemic, men don't need our help thanks but women do

I think it’s less about men v women and more an increased selfishness, sense of entitlement and lack of common courtesy. Some chap honked his horn at me today as I slowed him by two minutes whilst I let someone out of a side road (it’s a nightmare to come out from). I don’t usually let it pass. I go and speak to them thus delaying ithem further than any act of consideration towards other road users. I’m not rude I just ask what it was about them that made them need to warn me of their presence. I don’t always get a polite response but often do get an apology.