Why is there SO much hostility from men towards women?

[timetodothis]

Especially on the roads.
I'm still shaking from an incident today.
There wasn't enough room for myself and a white van to get through, so I decided to be the bigger person and reversed quite a way back to let him weasle faced little prick through, only for him to wind his window down, shake his fists at me and call me every name under the sun, before screeching off.

I also belong to a running group and lately I've noticed a lot more nastiness towards us, from passing cars and the odd cyclist,along the lines of ''get out of the way you stupid bitch' and 'dumb cunts' and it's nearly always from younger men.

What's going on? Has it always been like this or are things getting worse?
Makes me wonder what they're watching on tv or online to view us in this light.

I'll carry on thinking about EVERYBODY if that's okay with you? And are you seriously trying to say that men can't be victims of domestic violence?!!!!

They can but it's certainly not on the scale of male dv towards women. Women aren't routinely hospitalising or murdering their partners.

You only have to read the media every day to see reports of women brawling in the streets and even in the playgrounds!

I've never seen this. Been a mother for over a decade and spent more days than I could count in playgrounds...nope, never seen a woman having a physical fight.

Oh and have you ever wondered about the misogyny in the media?

Men, as a class are awful and I'm seeing it more the older I get. I have a DH and two DSs.

We were at a gig during the summer, this particular musician attracts a horrible, toxic crowd, always did. DH and I had VIP passes that gave us a private bar, food and good seats (cos I'm old). I couldn't drink because I felt so on edge. I was watching the crowd from our poncy stand and the police were dragging man after man out of the crowd. After the gig we saw stewards trying to clear out the ground, a group of men were laughing in their faces.

I actually said tomDH that should he run off with another woman or die that I would NEVER remarry. I actually feel sad that my boys have to live in this world. My sweet teenage boys, who work hard at school and who love their little sister. I don't know what separates my DSs from someone else's. I pray they will become good men.

So what was his problem, total arsehole. Invest in a dash cam, they are not expensine thsse days.

I find people are more impatient thsse days and have no bloody manners.

I actually said tomDH that should he run off with another woman or die that I would NEVER remarry

I totally agree.

Men, as a class are awful and I'm seeing it more the older I get. I have a DH and two DSs

I agree again. When my ds was just nine years old we were walking down the street and he turned to me and said 'mum, why do van drivers stare at women so much?' Ffs, even a primary aged child can see what's going on!

We seem to have gone the other way round here. The women drivers - usually in cars far too big so they can barely see over the damn steering wheel - seem to think they own the road. No regard for rules such as roundabout right of way, zebra crossings etc. Even the male taxi drivers - who are well known in the village for being punctual, polite etc to customers but wankers to other road users - seem to have mellowed out. It's a tad disconcerting!!

Well I believe there are some men who hate women but I also think we are less kind and patient towards one another as a society in general these days.

I will say this however, I have been shocked and saddened in life to discover undercurrents of resentment towards women from male friends/colleagues occasionally, men who I would never have expected to harbour such feelings. I ended a longterm relationship (for many reasons) but partially due to my ex's bitterness and resentment when he had to report to a new boss who happened to be female. In a million years I never would have expected him to harbour such misogynistic feelings but he genuinely hated everything about having a female boss. It completely changed how I saw him and I instantly realised I would never want to have children with such a man.

I don't know what separates my DSs from someone else's

I often think about this with my lovely DS but the reality is: nothing. He (or your boys) will grow up with the same social conditioning unless we lock them up for eternity. We can do so much, almost like damage limitation, but I worry deeply about what he'll turn into when he's firmly out my grasp

Umm I'm not sure. DH (in his 50's) has been running or cycling to work for over thirty years now. He constantly complains about the increase in aggression shown to him on the road over the last few years. He regularly gets people driving too close/shouting at him/gesticulating at him etc. Its not always men, sometimes women in big cars do the same.
So I think it is a general increase in impatient, aggressive, selfish people who think other people should get out of their way.

Actually I do know what else we can do - we can not get defensive when people point out the fact that men as a class are horrible. We can not let ourselves believe that the men and boys we love are an exception. We should recognise the different needs of men and women and not pretend that equality = having the same things. We can teach our sons to respect all people but especially women because it's hard enough in a patriarchal society as it is and they have to be key in relieving women from oppression. We have to teach them to call out their peers when they swear, jeer and scream at women, even if it's perceived that it was deserved. It may seem unfair to treat women differently (better) than men but considering everyday sexism, rapes and assaults against women by men is nothing short of an epidemic, I don't know what else the answer is

You don’t have to spend very much time on Twitter, Facebook discussion groups or the Guardian’s comments pages to get a pretty bleak view of how much how many men hate women. And there are no women they hate and despise more than middle class, middle aged, educated, liberal women. You would think that particular combination of words was in itself the most damning, contemptuous insult in the English language.

We were at a gig during the summer, this particular musician attracts a horrible, toxic crowd, always did. DH and I had VIP passes that gave us a private bar, food and good seats (cos I'm old). I couldn't drink because I felt so on edge. I was watching the crowd from our poncy stand and the police were dragging man after man out of the crowd. After the gig we saw stewards trying to clear out the ground, a group of men were laughing in their faces.

tenner on Liam Gallagher

Because some men are scared to be hostile to other men in case they can beat them up, but they're not physically scared of women, so they unleash their frustration on them. Gee, I hope they feel good about themselves afterwards.

I drove a white van a few months ago and was amazed at how aggressive people were towards me!!!

It's very difficult to weave in and out of parked cars in a transit sized van but I had plenty of people who weren't prepared to stop even when it was my right of way.

You only have to look at the glee in which right on naice liberal men who you'd expect better from, put the boot into women over the trans debate. It was done with relish.
My issue with men is they seem to think they are perfectly entitled to make comments on a woman as they're walking past minding their own business. 'Fat cunt' 'nice tits' etc etc. They seem genuinely shocked or angry if this is complained about.
I've never seen a woman roll down a window, as its popped into her mind that someone walking by is too short, fat, sexy, and they simply HAVE to tell them about it.
As I'm getting older, Im getting less tolerant of it. It's not all men, but it's a significant minority of them.
I'd love to live in a women only village when I'm old and my patience has completely gone.

I think they see us as sex objects or dirty man-hating feminists who are taking away their rights... I think it's the internet and the rise of both porn and homosocial forums.

And it's not always from the safety of their cars. Hence, murder and rape.

Sadly, I don’t think I’m generally perceived as a sex object or indeed a man eating feminist. Battleaxe, perhaps.

Witnessed a couple of incidents of that nature on the train in the last 2-3 months. Young men. Disgracefully aggressive towards women and using the c word. Stupid ugly bitch also seems to be a favourite. Disgusting... and no one seems to react.

I don't think this had anything whatsoever to do with porn. Men who drive white vans are on the job and probably under pressure to get somewhere on time, especially delivery drivers/couriers.

It's still inexcusable behaviour, but having done urban multidrop work when I first got my truck license it is stressful and frustrating - I believe yodel drivers were so up against it that many were shitting in buckets in the backs of their vans rather than finding a proper toilet!

@AllDayBreakfast I work in an extremely time pressured industry and I've managed to never swear at a stranger in, or out of my car

I think it speaks volumes when men think the worst possible insult for a woman is 'ugly'. To me it shows that they think we care so deeply about being perceived as beautiful, it's shows how little understanding they have of women. It might shock them to know we're complex creatures who don't give a shit if some random lunatic fancies us or not

I so despise threads that are titled "why do men.. why do teachers.." when the poster means specific instances, i.e. some men.

It's inflammatory and entirely unnecessary.

Scroll past then echt

I hate it when people NAMALT or "you should say SOME men" rather than engaging in the issues discussed, but there you go

If there is an increase of late, it's part and parcel of an increase of hostility towards all identifiable sub-groups. I'd guess the reducing economic opportunities have something to do with it. As life gets harder the search for scapegoats begins and involves trying to push them out of the ring to widen opportunities for the most aggressive. Add in men's over-entitlement compared to women, their greater need for women compared to the other way round, and an increasing resentment for anything that impinges on individual pleasures, and obviously women as a group are going to get hit.

Unfortunately we are ruled by men and it is not in their interests to do anything about it.

It is some men, but it IS men rather than women. And it is men directly swearing and behaving poorly towards female drivers/cyclists/runners. So I think the accusations of misogyny are justified.
I was just asking dh about this as I regularly get sworn at and called cunt by white van type guys and he doesn't, but he did observe that he encounters other examples of aggressive driving (they just don't then spill over in abuse) because "there are a lot of dicks around"