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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Stop boasting about lie ins and holidays on retirement!

87 replies

malificent7 · 10/09/2018 10:50

Now don't get me wrong; my dad and his dp and most other retired people deserve a good retirement; I am proud of them but I do wish that they would stop laughing at my early mornings and hard work whilst boasting about lie ins, holidays and being able to galavant.

This is semi light hearted but aibu to be jealous?

OP posts:

Original poster

malificent7 · 10/09/2018 10:51

Or will I be the same (albiet 10 years later by the time I retire!)

OP posts:

Washedwithrain · 10/09/2018 10:55

Oh you will be the same! I'm taking early retirement soon and I cant wait to be on permanent holiday

Original poster

malificent7 · 10/09/2018 10:56

My retirement won't be early. I'm retraining and expect to be in work for the next 25 years. Very happy about new career though!

OP posts:

KindergartenKop · 10/09/2018 10:57

I agree. My mum refuses to get out of bed before 8am in any circumstances. It's annoying!

serbska · 10/09/2018 11:02

Yeah but they are soooooo busy, Pilates class, coffee, supermarket, post office, dog walk, made dinner, exhausted!

BuntyII · 10/09/2018 11:03

Ah let them gloat a bit. They've paid their dues.

Singlenotsingle · 10/09/2018 11:04

Why on earth should she if she doesn't need to, kindergarten? She's earnt her relaxation. She was in your situation for many years and now she's reaping the rewards. Your time will come!
(Sez she, sitting in pyjamas at 11.00 am )

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 10/09/2018 11:06

I think they’re being knobs tbh. My mum retired last year after 45 years in the NHS. She worked bloody hard every single one of those years. If anyone deserves their retirement lie ins and gallivanting, it’s her, but she hasn’t once gloated about it. She’s enjoying it, but there’s no rubbing it in anyone’s face.

Honey2018 · 10/09/2018 11:08

My Grandma retired about 10 years ago and is always so busy with baking, voluntary work, gardening club etc. she’s busier than I am but it’s not ‘work’ because she wants to do it. I think I’d rather be like her than lying in bed half the day. She’s 73 but looks like she’s in her 50’s. I think if you become lazy in retirement you become ‘old’quickly.

SpiritedLondon · 10/09/2018 11:12

Well i think most people deserve to enjoy their retirement but given I’m slightly sarcastic I would probably message back in a jokey way “ yes but you’re so much closer to death than I am ”

Original poster

malificent7 · 10/09/2018 11:21

I don't like gloating! Never mind. We will have our time .

OP posts:

goose1964 · 10/09/2018 11:24

Since retiring my dad is far too busy for lie ins and my in-laws were the same until recently when age and ill health have taken their toll

nokidshere · 10/09/2018 11:29

Oh you poor thing.

I've worked for 40yrs, dh for 50 and we retire at Christmas. I am sooo going to be gloating that it's someone else's turn now you can, and will, gloat when it's your turn.

Sharpen up your witty repartee skills

Bluelady · 10/09/2018 11:32

No need for gloating but after getting up at six every morning for over 40 years it's lovely not to have to do it any more.

Original poster

malificent7 · 10/09/2018 11:34

Gloat away...just don't expect to be very popular when you do it! It makes me want to keep away from them tbh! Perhaps that's what they want!

OP posts:

nokidshere · 10/09/2018 11:38

Gloat away...just don't expect to be very popular when you do it! It makes me want to keep away from them tbh! Perhaps that's what they want!

You need to get a grip. I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon enough. Why can't you just laugh it off or find something to say back to them?

Aren't you happy for them? Can't you tease them about being layabouts or something? It's really really not something to get worked up or fall out over

PuppyMonkey · 10/09/2018 11:39

Well I hope you’re not going to gloat about your new career, or when your DC achieve a certain milestone or you go on a nice day out. Because you won’t be very popular...

thetemptationofchocolate · 10/09/2018 11:41

My partner retired about a year ago. He is lucky to be alive still tbh, what with the boasting about how much he is enjoying himself. OP I am with you on this one!

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 10/09/2018 11:45

Well I hope you’re not going to gloat about your new career, or when your DC achieve a certain milestone or you go on a nice day out. Because you won’t be very popular...wink

Well yes, i think that’s the point OP is making! why would she gloat? Gloating is horrible. Poor mannered children gloat.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 10/09/2018 11:49

What’s wrong with exercise classes, shopping, making meals, meeting friends, volunteering, walking, running, swimming, playing sport? That’s what most retired people I know do.

And I don’t know many who have a lie in. I get up about 7am usually, sometimes earlier, sometimes a bit later. But then I got up for work at 6am or earlier, for more years than I care to remember.

UnderHerEye · 10/09/2018 11:52

Well I think telling people off
for gloating comes across as being petty tbh, I appreciate the OP was lighthearted but some of you sound like you need to get your heads out of your arses I’m afraid, people are allowed to do nice things and talk about it!

TheStoic · 10/09/2018 11:54

Some people think it’s gloating, others would be genuinely happy they’re enjoying themselves.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 10/09/2018 11:56

but I do wish that they would stop laughing at my early mornings and hard work

underhereye there is a difference between enjoying your free time and what the OPs father is doing! The above isn’t enjoying your free time. It’s nasty.

drspouse · 10/09/2018 12:05

I may take slightly early retirement as my DH is quite a bit older than me but it's fairly likely to be while both DCs or at least DC2 is still at school so we'll still be tied to getting up on weekdays and school holiday dates for our holidays!

Chrysalis7 · 10/09/2018 12:07

@maleficent7

YANBU, it's very annoying when people do this.

I remember in the 1990's (when I was in my late 20's and had to return to work after only 16 weeks maternity leave,) a woman me and my DH knew was a 23 y.o. SAHM, who had 2 babies under 2. (Nothing wrong with that and I am not judging her!)

However, she was SO fucking smug. She said 'oh my GOD I would NEVER return to work, my kids are SOOOOO much better with me at home, and I have all my free time, and it's the best life la la la...' I could have knocked her out.

Anyhoo, I saw her the other week for the first time in 20 years.... Her kids were grown, and she and her DH had recently split up, and she had had to go out to work full time. I recently took early retirement (at 50,) after almost 35 years of working, and now I was the one with all the free time. Whilst SHE had another 25 years of working in her. (My DH is 3 years older than me, and is retiring next year...)

I know it's not the same for you, as retired people are very unlikely to go back to work, but your time will come.

As I said, I am retired now, and have no responsibilities or anyone to look after (both sets of parents have passed, and our 2 kids have left home,) and I now have the best life... I would never rub anyone's nose in it though.

I mean I know I am kind of bragging on here, and I am sorry about that, but I was just trying to make a point, and we don't know each other in real life.........

I also think it's FINE to not get up til 8am! What an odd statement to make @kindergarten. I rarely rise before 9am! And I don't do fuck-all til after 10am! I worked for 35 years, as well as raising 2 kids. I have paid my dues.

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