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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stop boasting about lie ins and holidays on retirement!

87 replies

malificent7 · 10/09/2018 10:50

Now don't get me wrong; my dad and his dp and most other retired people deserve a good retirement; I am proud of them but I do wish that they would stop laughing at my early mornings and hard work whilst boasting about lie ins, holidays and being able to galavant.

This is semi light hearted but aibu to be jealous?

OP posts:
HermioneGoesBackHome · 10/09/2018 12:16

Some people think it’s gloating, others would be genuinely happy they’re enjoying themselves.
Depends how it’s said isn’t it?
So not laughing at someone having to get up early for example is helping to feel it’s not gloating...

Fwiw I dint think my generation will have a retirement as confortablement as the one of my parents.
Early retirement is getting more and more of a dream when it was ‘normal’ for my parents. On the contrary people are expected to work later and later, well past the time when most people are well. Well enough to work or to go in hols....

I’m not expecting a great retirement filled with holidays and Pilates for myself tbh.

Original poster
malificent7 · 10/09/2018 12:16

TBH I am not ready to retire yet...I just wish I had a great career to retire FROM! My career in teaching was a shit show and made me ill and am now training to be a radiologist. I am ambitious and want to be a consultant so I will work damn hard.

My dad is not that nasty with the laughing at my early mornings...it's more the occasional tongue in cheek comment. His dp sometimes rubs it in. It's just that yes, I am jealous and up until now worked hard in a failing career...just felt like I was swimming through treacle.

I am very happy for my dad and keep telling him he should be a bit more adventurous and go to India, Africa and America before it's too late although they are happy with their European travels and a bit scared to step outside their comfort zone.

I guess with my dad and his dp, they had successful careers and therefore great pensions so they can look back with pride. I hope I can do the same!

OP posts:
Original poster
malificent7 · 10/09/2018 12:19

And on the flip side my dear friend who thoroughly deserves the retirement she has just earned is envious of me going back to university. You can't win I guess and at least we have more choices now!

OP posts:
Bluelady · 10/09/2018 12:20

Why is she envious? She could do it too.

Lucisky · 10/09/2018 12:20

I was looking forward to lie-ins when I retired over 4 years ago. However, I've now become one of those strange older people that wakes really early and leaps (well, creaks) out of bed, often as early as 5am.
Getting older means you need less sleep (but probably more rest), and lying in bed for too long makes me ache horrendously. So it's not all a bed of roses.
I worked for 42 years. Retirement is wonderful, but I just wish I had the mobility and energy of my youth.

FaFoutis · 10/09/2018 12:21

It's different if you really are on your knees with exhaustion and they do fuck all to help. Then you really don't want to hear about their 25th holiday that year.

SoyDora · 10/09/2018 12:21

I know the feeling OP! The IL’s retired at 55, moved abroad and have a pension bigger than most people’s household income. They spend their days swimming in their pool and drinking wine, in between their 4-5 holidays a year. All of which is fab, I’m glad they’re enjoying it! But the gloating is grating. It’s just rude. I’d like to think the novelty will wear off and they’ll stop gloating but they’ve been retired for 6 years now!
What bothers me more though is that they keep telling me my mum ‘must be mad’ to still be working in her early 60’s and she needs to ‘take a leaf out of our book’. My mum works full time for slightly above minimum wage and is mortgaged until she’s 70 so she doesn’t have much choice! I’m sure she’d love to retire and spend her day lying in the sun. They have no awareness that other people’s life circumstances are different to theirs.

dueanotherchange · 10/09/2018 12:22

My Mum kept telling me how busy she was. Then she came to stay for three days.

She doesn't say it anymore.

I love my Mum.

Rebecca36 · 10/09/2018 12:22

KindergartenKop Mon 10-Sep-18 10:57:57
I agree. My mum refuses to get out of bed before 8am in any circumstances. It's annoying!

-

8am!!!! That's the middle of the night, the streets aren't even aired by then.

Original poster
malificent7 · 10/09/2018 12:25

This is just it! What did they do exactly to 'deserve' lying around in the sun doing nowt for the last 15 years of their possible working life? ( I must be in the wrong job!)

OP posts:
Bluelady · 10/09/2018 12:26

They worked in jobs that provided decent pensions.

FaFoutis · 10/09/2018 12:27

They don't 'deserve' it, they were just lucky.

Original poster
malificent7 · 10/09/2018 12:28

I guess she wishes she'd retrained years ago instead of ploughing ahead.

OP posts:
Original poster
malificent7 · 10/09/2018 12:29

I worked a year ft in a job as a ta . I could not afford to contribute to my pension. I think that will change now...hopefully.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 10/09/2018 12:31

IL’s (well FIL) also worked in a job that provided accommodation (an 8 bed house!), housekeeper and paid all their bills, so their outgoings over the years were minimal.

Amanduh · 10/09/2018 12:32

How ridiculous you’d begrudge someone enjoying their retirement! You sound nasty saying they don’t deserve it. Jealous!

SoyDora · 10/09/2018 12:33

I don’t think it’s begrudging them their retirement, I don’t begrudge my IL’s theirs at all. It’s just the gloating. There’s never any need for it, it’s juat designed to make other people feel bad.

Original poster
malificent7 · 10/09/2018 12:34

I don't begrudge it.. I just want to know how they do it (so that I can do the same!)

OP posts:
HollyGoLoudly1 · 10/09/2018 12:34

Ah let them gloat a bit. They've paid their dues.

Agree with this. Guess it depends on the circumstances but my parents worked long hours at jobs they didn't particularly like so they could look after us when we were kids well into our twenties thanks to university/relationship break ups/changing careers etc. Then many more years to get the mortgage paid and build up their pensions. I don't grudge them a day of their retirement and believe me they LOVE to regularly remind us of their jammy lifestyle!

Original poster
malificent7 · 10/09/2018 12:35

Of course im jealous...who wouldn't be!

OP posts:
lovetherisingsun · 10/09/2018 12:38

My husband does this about work. Slightly jealous, yes :)

TheFaerieQueene · 10/09/2018 12:43

Let them have their day in the sun. My DF retired and not long after was hit with fronto temporal dementia. He is now bed bound and unable to move or speak/understand. He worked so hard for this country and instead of a long, happy retirement which was richly deserved, he is just a shell.

CurlsandCurves · 10/09/2018 12:48

I don’t really have an opinion on this. But it does annoy me when I’m arranging for DH to come and work for retired people and ask if he can start at 8am, a standard time for him to start. And I get ‘ oooh, that’s very early, we are retired, can he come a bit later? Bout 9, 9.30?’

So basically, you want him to lose an hours pay (because there’s nothing else he can do in that time) so you don’t have to get out of bed?

SoyDora · 10/09/2018 12:51

Let them have their day in the sun

I wouldn’t mind if it was a day in the sun, but my IL’s have been gloating for 6 years!

Bluelady · 10/09/2018 12:53

But he chooses to start at 8am, his customers - you know, the ones who are paying him - want him to start later. Tough.