DH - Hours "getting ready"

[cheshireagain]

I literally can't stand it.
I take anything from 10-30 mins depending on what I'm doing.

First born DS is 7 months and so I'm used to doing the bare minimum to get ready.

DH can take up to an hour to do a poo... I'm not joking!
And then shaves...
And then showers...
And then irons a shirt...
And then potters around doing hair/aftershave etc etc

I used to have terrible anxiety and depression and this routine every weekend really pushes my buttons.

I'm sat here waiting to go out (to visit my mum) and I've taken the baby for a walk/changed/fed/done dishwasher/washing etc.

Am I just being a princess?!?!

He does the same thing before work.
A long "toilet time" and then shower etc.

It is much worse on the weekend though

Yes tell him what time you are leaving and leave without him if he’s not ready

What’s he doing for an hour on the loo?

How can he or other husbands mentioned take an hour to do a poo?

How do they manage to hold down employment?

My XH was like this. It was one of many little power play/control things. Notice the X part! I would complain, he would then say that he had waited ages for me so went to do other things. This was gaslighting. Nobody with a healthy bowel requires an hour for a shite.

Don’t wait for him, just go out.

If you WoH, go in early on your working days so he has to both get himself ready and parent his DC and get DC ready for childcare.

Christ the things that people find to care about.

FFS! People are giving birth in less time than it takes some of these men to have a shit! Loosen the lock so the door can be forced without much effort and send the kids up. Anything they want it's "ask daddy."]

Soon get him moving.

Start giving him prunes

I admit I have started telling DH we need to leave about half an hour before we actually do, to accommodate his faffing tendencies. He's also the sort of person who, when you tell him that something starts at e.g. 11am, he will leave to arrive at the place at 11am, giving no leeway for parking, walking to the place, getting seated etc. This leads to him missing the start of so much, hence the need to tell him things start earlier than they do.

He also disappears upstairs to “do his exercises” several times a day

You know he's wanking, right?

^^

She does now!

I don't know why you don't say the night before "We are going to Tom and Ophelia's barbecue/the Steam Museum/little friend Xavier's birthday party tomorrow. Need to leave at 9, do you reckon?

^^

Could you be more MN?

DH takes an hour to poo except on Mondays when he has to get a 7am flight.

Funnily enough on those days he can be up and out the house in about 25 minutes

My DH does actually have a bowel condition so it can legit take him damn ages to poo. I suggested we put a computer table in the bathroom so that he could work in there instead of just reading his phone. Apparently pooing is hard work and he can only read the paper, can't use his laptop. so I put a basket of toys in there and when he's good and established I pop DD in there with him and sod off.

Funnily enough this speeds up his action.

For those hour long poos as a pp said- turn off the WiFi once he is in the bathroom & 'comfy'. My DH is the same though & I totally get how it interferes with your mental health- my stress levels rocket.

Mine is not quite as bad as all this, but he is on the way there. I do all the school and DC sorting in the morning, he preens and poos and showers and faffs. Drives me bonkers. He doesn't care if he's late and susses it if I say we have to be there a bit earlier. He will literally leave a friend standing in the cold on a street corner despite many reminders that it's time to start getting ready as it takes him nearly an hour and it's now an hour before we need to leave. Even well spaced reminders throughout the morning . There's just always something else he thinks he should get done first. Just will not listen or respect other people's time. It is the main source of conflict for us. He pulls his weight in many other ways. But in my next life I will find a partner who does not do this particular thing.

Still sounds better than my ex H who would spend all his free time taking photos of himself in the mirror in various ridiculous outfits. Didn't ever take any pics of the family. There must have been hundreds of pics of himself on his PC. He wasn't even good looking

Thank God he's your Ex.

I wonder how long it would take him to poo if you turned off the wifi?

My DH used to spend most of Sunday afternoon "getting ready for work." As this involved shaving and putting his clothes out for the next day, I couldn't figure out why on earth it took so long.

Eventually, one day a particular penny suddenly dropped and I burst into the bathroom and bellowed: "WHY does it take you over an hour to shave??? YOU HAVE A FECKING BEARD!!!"

Anyway, he's got much better since then.

I told my husband I'd booked him a doctors appointment as I was worried about the length of time he spent on the toilet. He confessed it was his time out and mostly was on the phone.

He no longer takes it with him!

Phones in toilets is gross. My dh does the same

I recall once ringing a male colleague who was working from home that's day
"Please can I speak to Ian?" I asked
"Ian's ON the toilet" person answered. Classy touch that.

We call DH's poo sessions 5 course poos with canapés and petit fours! 😁

I worked at a University- all male environment.

One of the post docs would bring a breakfast tray with hot food and make his way up to the toilet to eat while having a jobbie.

He would come into the communal area holding his tray and announce the fact- "That's me then- off for an hour"

YANBU, that would seriously piss me off. He isn’t spending an hour doing a shit, it’s an escapism for some people men especially .

He needs to sort his life out.