DH - Hours "getting ready"

[cheshireagain]

I literally can't stand it.
I take anything from 10-30 mins depending on what I'm doing.

First born DS is 7 months and so I'm used to doing the bare minimum to get ready.

DH can take up to an hour to do a poo... I'm not joking!
And then shaves...
And then showers...
And then irons a shirt...
And then potters around doing hair/aftershave etc etc

I used to have terrible anxiety and depression and this routine every weekend really pushes my buttons.

I'm sat here waiting to go out (to visit my mum) and I've taken the baby for a walk/changed/fed/done dishwasher/washing etc.

Am I just being a princess?!?!

"DH can take up to an hour to do a poo."

Then he needs to see a Dr-unless there's already a known reason!

Is he avoiding because it's a visit to your mum?

Would she care if he wasn't there?

Another time though, just leave & leave baby also if it would be somewhere that's easier to go alone.

The 40 min shitting pisses me off no end
Followed by another 30 min showering /preening
By which time I've had enough & eaten dinner

Its like the modern day equivalent of a bloke going to do "jobs" in his dad she's while mum does everything with the kids. Spending that long getting ready / pooing (reading? On his phone ?) is indeed an easy way of leaving all the drudgery to the mum.

I have observed my husband blow drying his hair. He sits on the bed holding the dryer with one hand and his phone in the other, sometimes not even pointing the dryer at his hair !!!!

"You'll notice that he just got out of all the household and child chores by lollygagging about primping."

Well that's what it's all about isn't it?

Ugh I had a friend like this. First time we went away I would be up and raring to go by 9am, she would get up at 10am and then spent what seemed like hours creeping round the cottage at snails pace, doing god knows what and making endless cups of tea. We never got out of the cottage until well after midday by which time i had lost all enthusiasm for what we had planned to do. Never again.

I agree with others, tell him what time you're leaving and if he's not ready, go without him. It's so irritating.

*dad shed !

Go without him.

I made a conscious decision not to wait for my DP if he was late. Just left on time when I was ready and if he wasn’t he didn’t come/missed out. He improved a lot and more importantly it took the stress and anxiety away from me.

My DH takes forever to have a poo. I've been out and done a small shop, come home and put it all away and he's never even noticed I've been out.

I have noticed this length of time shitting thing has got worse since the invention of the smart phone oddly

Dh is the same. For some reason it takes less time to get a toddler ready, given breakfast, toilet done, bag packed and shoes on than it does a grown man.

I really resent having to add an extra ~30 minutes into a day to accommodate the concept of a luxury poo for DH. Why can't they just go like normal people??

It depends how long he really takes.

I can't get ready in 10 or 30 minutes. It takes me an hour, and I wouldn't accept any chivvying, eye rolling, hyperventilating or other attempts to put the skids under me. Including pleas of anxiety by the person chivvying me.

If he's failing to be ready at an agreed time, then HIBU. But otherwise not.

My ex H was like this. I knew it was bad when his Mum, who worshipped the ground he walked on, happened to be there one day and we were sat waiting for him for ages. She said "is he always like this?!" I affirmed that indeed he was. She sat there for a few more minutes looking furious and then jumped up and started shouting at him to "GET A BLOODY MOVE ON!" and then when he finally sauntered down the stairs laid into him for not helping getting the kids ready to go out; coats, gloves etc.

Go without him.

It was Mumsnet that introduced me to the concept of the 'shwank'.

He also disappears upstairs to “do his exercises” several times a day

You know he's wanking, right?

All these shitting men aren’t just sitting in there staring at the walls though are they? I bet you anything they all have their phones with them, or if not, a magazine etc. They’re not shitting for that length of time but enjoying a nice little break. Nobody needs to take 60 to 90 minutes to evacuate their lower bowel.

These men need more fibre in their diet. An hour to take a shit?! Should be a few minutes tops.

They. Are. Wanking.

Honestly, you're not the one who's a princess

Yeah, this makes me cross too.
DH seems to wait until the rest of us are ready to walk out the door before he even starts to get himself ready, although he doesn't take as long as yours does. But we're still waiting while he puts his jeans on, puts his shoes on, goes for a pee, finds his wallet and keys, oh and then goes back for his sunglasses, and then needs a drink, and then maybe another quick pee... ALL of which he could have done 20 minutes earlier while WE were still getting ready too.
His excuse? "well you take so long to get ready, I'm not hanging around waiting for you".
We do not take long to get ready. I can have myself and the 2 boys ready in under 10 minutes.

Dh takes minimum of half an hour a day shitting.He scrolls Amazon,YouTube whatever but it doesn't take 30 mins to push a poo out (it's not a short labour) soo annoying!

Unless it is a special occasion then OH and I both "get ready" in the morning.
And that's it.

So by 8am, we are showered, dressed, ready to go.

So on days off we can decide to go out and leave within 30 seconds- at any time of the day.

Shoes on, grab keys, out.

I hate faffers really winds me up. Mine sits on the bed taking ages to dry himself. He has no hair so it’s not like it would not take him ages to dry. He just sits about faffing on. Often reading his phone.

I hate faffers in the real world too. Like queuing for the toilet. Wee and get out. I honestly don’t know what some women do in public toilets. They can’t all be pooing and changing tampons. I am in a minute max. Keeps queuing short.

Grrr faffers.

However my OH has been on call this weekend.

I caught him talking to a client while having a poo.

I can take up to an hour to have a shit, but then I have a neurogenic bowel and not much feeling in my rectum.

I either sit and wait for something to happen or I have to use an aid like a mini colonic irrigation (which I hate).

If I don't clear it all I risk incontinence later in the day. Extremely embarrassing as I can't feel it coming until it's too late

Maybe these men have a genuine problem, maybe they're having a wank and maybe they're trying to have a bit of peace and quiet. I can't see them changing so it's a case of getting them in there sooner.

My ex was a pretty boy and would spend hours getting ready and couldn't pass a mirror without preening. I'm relieved that my OH can get out the door in 30 minutes flat and doesn't hog the mirror.

Good luck with the re-training, ladies

one thing that might help if hes not going to change.or if this happens with other things in ur life because of ur anxiety hun is just keep repeating to yourself."this is happening now.can I do anything about this wait.can Ichange what is happening,im here now so just be still" it just reminds yourself to come down from rumininatiing or getting hett up or starting to panic or get eeeeekish. just focus on the right now and you.if hes going to do this or if thing happen which usually get u nervy then just ground urself back to here and now and to being you and keeping yourself calm.some thng you can and some things u just cant control.