To feel so down today?

[overwhlemed]

It's not even 7am and I feel like crap.

Brief back story.

Single mum
In thirties
Ex sees DD a couple of times a week
I work full time in a job a love.

I'm desperately trying to pay of about £5k in credit cards, all (little) extra money is being ploughed into that. I have to do it or I'll be paying them off for years.

It's so hard, I have hardly any extra cash, I need some new work clothes, I can only buy minimum food. I feel like life is passing me by. Everyone else seems to have families and plans and doing 'stuff'. I can barely scrape money together for bus fares. Financially things will get easier over the next year if I keep to my plan. I don't know, I just feel lonely and deflated. Watching everyone live their lives. Family live in another city. I have amazing friends, I really do. But at 7am with a while Sunday ahead of me, just me and DD (who I love so much). I just feel lonely and fed up.....I also have health anxiety which just seems to 'flare up' on days like this.

Rant over. Anyone got any advice? x

No advice, just for you and know that this feeling will pass. Hope your day improves.

Thank you @Mum2OneTeen, that's lovely of you. X

It always looks like other people are having the most amazing lives, but it definitely isn’t the case. Try to think of all the positives in your life, you have a lovely DD, a job you enjoy, somewhere to live, amazing friends. You’re taking control of your financial situation instead of letting it escalate. Go out for a lovely walk today, getting out can really help. I know you can’t always help how you feel, I hope you feel better soon.

I know it’s hard honey x

But think about it, when it’s paid off you’ll have so much more!

Or you can call the company you owe money to and ask how much they would be willing to take to settle the debt?

I would say get up and put as soon as you can. Go to the park/have a walk/find some stones to paint/leaves to stick/make mud pies in the garden. See if any friends want to join you. Fake the enthusiasm if you don’t have it today and you will find you will have a good day.
What you see on social media isn’t real life.

Up and out

Sorry to hear that. Ive suffered with anxiety in the past and I can remember always feeling like I wanted to cry first thing in a morning. As the day went on I'd feel better.
Regarding the credit card - would it be worth balance transferring to a 0% interest card! Paying a little extra to do it now but then maybe paying it off slightly slower which would give you abit of extra money for now?? I know that would increase the time until CC is paid but it might give you some motivation for now? Good luck

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I hear you.
I am in a crap situation at the moment which I won't go into but I hear you.
Try and make it a nice day. Maybe you could make a nice meal together? Have pudding and make custard after?
Can you go out for a walk and clear your head a bit? Go and feed the ducks or go to the swings?
I hope things get better for you soon. Just keep on and you will get there.

Thank you @Beanbag12 . I know, you're right. I was just looking at my DD asleep (she's in bed next to me) thinking how lucky I am to have her. I'm so thankful I a healthy child.

I just feel on the verge of tears today. I could feel it as soon as I opened my eyes.

Im going pop to the shop later and get a few bits to make a roast dinner for us, we can go for a walk.

I'm going to try and think positive, it's just so hard sometimes.
X

How old is she Op?

Pinterest have some amazing crafty ideas that don't cost money / minimal money.

Today I'm going to paint some pebbles with my DD and then hide them in the woods near a play park .

I hope you have a lovely roast dinner later! Yum xxxx

Thanks @MrsGB2225 . It's looks a bit cold and grey here today, but that doesn't bother me. I'm an autumn kind of girl. I going to go for a walk when DD is up. Wrap us up and clear the cobwebs, just a bit of fresh air and change of scenery. It's such a horrible feeling. I just want to shake myself out of it!

Sending hugs. You should be so proud of yourself for being focused on your future financial security. It can be a hard slog, I know, so why not come join us on the Frugaleer threads? You'll find them in Credit Crunch - lovely supportive bunch of people.

Be thankful she's still asleep... My daughters been up since 5:49 and is now watching postman incompetent pat 😂😂

You sound like you’ve really got your shit together OP! You’ve made a conscious choice to do this to make things easier in the long run.

Do your finances allow for maybe making some cut-out biscuits or cupcakes with your DD today? Or a cake? Or is she a good age to do some crafting together? It really depends what you’ve got in the house, but my kids love pulling out the craft box (mostly scrap paper, worn out clothes (rags) and packaging) and we do things like make collages, they make little pictures of themselves and add fabric for clothes/hair etc. Or even just drawing pictures together is a firm favourite.

I’m not that good at art things (or baking!) but I often find the act of creating something very satisfying.

Cross-posted. Walks are great. Any autumn leaves around to collect?

Thanks for your advice @1tobleroneplease . I don't have a good enough credit score to get a zero 0% credit card. But I did think this morning maybe it's time to reduce some of the payments slightly as it is clearly crippling me. Even if it does take me a bit longer to pay. I was hit by a car this year and am due some compensation soon. So anything I get from that will be going straight on my debt.

Morning OP, roast dinner and a lovely autumn walk sounds a really lovely day. Life can be tough but remember that you are doing your best and surrounding your daughter with love. Xx

I hear you. Having a crap start too.
When I feel this way I try to distract myself. Get up and go out- early morning stroll round the park/ area you live. Put on some music and tidy, read a good book or watch a tv show anything to pull you into the present and drown out those thoughts untill they are silent.

Ok practical ideas now. A personal loan may have a better interest rate than a credit card. They have set payments so you’ll have an end date.

Have you spoken to the credit card provider?

You seem you're in control
It will always be hard when you have such a plan whether you're single or not

Having someone else doesn't necessarily ease the situation, it ll probably make it worse xxx

Some of these posts have made me feel quite emotional! (In a good way). Mumsnet gets such a bad rep in the press, but where else would I have found so much support at 7am on a Sunday morning?

Thanks @yellowspottedwellies she's 8. So we're past the postman pat days, but i remember the 5am CBeebies starts well! We have drawers full of crafts bits, that's the thing my DD would be delighted if I sat down and spent the afternoon doing crafty bits with her. All she's ever wants is my time. She's a good girl.

Totally know where you are coming from OP. Am also just starting on a brutal savings plan to help our future. Was planning to try geo-caching today. It is a free app which guides you on kind of treasure hunts. Am also researching cheap vegetable stews on the internet to make something tasty but not spend much. I know I am in for a tough year, but am keeping the end goal firmly in sight. I have also taken up running and have borrowed a load of good crime novels from the library. Put some stuff on EBay yesterday too. Invite friends over for dinner rather than go out in the evening as that saves money if you cook something not too fancy and keeps you sane. Best of luck with it. You will be really proud if you manage to achieve this.

So sorry to hear you're feeling down. Regarding your credit card debts, can I just gently suggest you research your local Credit Union. You can start saving a small amount with them (I know you're cash strapped at present but start small). Once you have established that you are a regular saver you can get loans from them at a very low interest rate. You could pay off your credit card debt then. Your loan repayment to the Credit Union will be far less than all the interest amounting on your credit card. I think it will help you feel more in control too. Hope you have a good day in the end, a walk and roast dinner sound perfect!!

You're already sounding a bit more positive than when you started the thread so I will just add some encouragement :) I hope that you enjoy your roast dinner and walk - that sounds a perfect way to spend an autumn day.

Thanks @lillylollylandy. I knew when I started this financial plan it was going to be tough for at least a year. I've stuck to it as much as possible, made as many savings as I can, but it's still a real struggle on the day to day.

I will check out the thread for sure.