To feel so down today?

[overwhlemed]

It's not even 7am and I feel like crap.

Brief back story.

Single mum
In thirties
Ex sees DD a couple of times a week
I work full time in a job a love.

I'm desperately trying to pay of about £5k in credit cards, all (little) extra money is being ploughed into that. I have to do it or I'll be paying them off for years.

It's so hard, I have hardly any extra cash, I need some new work clothes, I can only buy minimum food. I feel like life is passing me by. Everyone else seems to have families and plans and doing 'stuff'. I can barely scrape money together for bus fares. Financially things will get easier over the next year if I keep to my plan. I don't know, I just feel lonely and deflated. Watching everyone live their lives. Family live in another city. I have amazing friends, I really do. But at 7am with a while Sunday ahead of me, just me and DD (who I love so much). I just feel lonely and fed up.....I also have health anxiety which just seems to 'flare up' on days like this.

Rant over. Anyone got any advice? x

Definitely say sorry no can do 🤷‍♀️

I'd also tell her that I'm way too busy for a catch up.

I've been way too nice sometimes and too forgiving and was then treated badly yet again, and I was reading your post thinking there's not a chance in hell, I'd give her a lift.

Sorry wrong thread fuck knows how that happened 🤷‍♀️

Do you have friends who might want to come around for lunch, or meet up at the park to play rounders/frisbee etc?

On Mumsnet you would swear everyone wants to isolate themselves for "family time" on a weekend, but everyone I know finds that claustrophobic and wants to get out and get together on a Sunday. (That could be because we all live in London, far from family).

Thanks @olympicsrock, I appreciate your advice. These precious days with my DD the thing that matter most. I think I just get overwhelmed sometimes with the managing day to day with little money. I can afford some bits for a roast and a nice walk costs nothing. I hope you have a lovely Sunday.

I hope your day gets better too @Rosetintedglasses454 - it is hard sometimes. I woke up thinking I could just cry, I don't think I slept well, I woke up feeling tired and drained. Then as I was waking up I just thought 'Sunday....no money... here we go again'. Those were my first thoughts of the day.

I think you sound really together. Ok, so you’re feeling low at the moment because life is tough financially. You’ve got your priorities right, though.
Hopefully it won’t be long til that debt is sorted and you can start spending more freely.
Your plans for today sound lovely and like what a lot of people do on a Sunday. It’s not true that everyone is off with an exciting plan.
You said you have great friends. Any chance of meeting up with or chatting to anyone today? Mumsnet is great but real life support can make a huge difference.

Get in touch with stepchange, they have website and give great advice. They reduce your debt and arrange for manageable payments monthly so you and your dd will have to go with out.

Not have to go without

I know exactly how that feels. We are visiting friends today but often have these completely blank days. Bit of a walk, do your shopping, lunch then lots of crafts this afternoon. Your dd will have a lovely day & it will just happen for you and if it doesn't then some days you just have to put one foot in front of the other & put a smile on your face.

I think you sound like you have your head on the right way op. I'm sure dd is a lovely happy girl too with a lovely mum like you

@Tomselleckhaskindeyes - I haven't contacted the credit card provider, I'm not sure they would help me. The interest is high on it, really high. That's why I'm trying to pay this main one off first, so I'm not paying tons of interest off. I don't have a good enough credit score to get a decent personal loan. I've pored through my finances and my current plan seems the only viable one.

Social media can paint a picture that's not really true. Most of it is illusion. Don't compare yourself, just do the best you can. 💐💐💐 hope your day gets better.

Change your ‘Sunday no money. Here we go again’ thought to ‘Another day of sticking to my plan and a day closer to achieving my objective’

@Mummadeeze good luck with your plan. You sound motivated and determined. 90% of the time I feel the same way. It's just the last few weeks I've started to wobble a bit.

I just need to keep thinking, I have a goal and I have plan. My DD and I have recently rejoined the library and I've read more books in the past 8 weeks that I have in years! It's been a pleasure. I guess when you're trying to save money you look for simple pleasure elsewhere.

Every purchase I make these days is a conscious decision. I was in Boots the other day with a handful of Avène products. As I was waking to the till i thought 'what are you doing?!' and put them all back. I couldn't afford, I would have been skint. That's when I knew I had changed, a year ago I would of thought 'sod it' and bought the lot.

Oooh thanks @DaphneduM, I've never heard of Credit Union. I'll take a look. Thanks I've worked 6 days this week so I'm really looking forward to a relaxing Sunday.

Thanks @choccybiscuit I did look into StepChange, I briefly spoke to them on the phone. I'm sure that if you end up getting the help of a debt company it can impact your credit history for 6 years. If I carry on with my plan now I'll be debt free in 18 months and my credit score will improve. I thought of it as 'short term loss, long term gain'

Thanks so much @Iizzyb such a lovely comment. 'Blank days' sums it right up! Just the feeling of 'meh'. We spent the evening with some lovely friends last night. DD will be delighted when I drag out the arts and crafts this afternoon. I hope you have a lovely Sunday. Xx

MN is a great place. There are some bonkers posters on here and regular pile-ons, but you soon learn who to avoid and when the shit hits the fan it's a brilliant resource for practical advice and support.

You sound very level headed and sensible. Paying down debt is hard and it takes a real strength of character to meet it head on and keep going at it - so you should be proud of yourself for being diligent and committed. Well done.

On a practical note, the high interest credit cards are an absolute killer. It's definitely worth talking to someone to get some professional advice to see if there is anything you can do to make things a little easier. The following are official firms which do not charge for their services. This is an important point because there are loads of companies who offer debt services but charge you for the privilege!

This link is for Step Change, which is a registered charity offering free debt advice. They are closed today but you can call and speak with an adviser for a review of your situation.

Plan is another debt advice firm, which also offers debt plans (all no fee) and is endorsed by the Money Advice Service (which is a Govt backed website and organisation).

Against Poverty run very good money management training sessions. Don't be put off by the fact it's a religious organisation - I used to work with a lady who volunteered with them and they were really good (I'm an atheist!).

Best of luck

Not sure why some of the firm names have been cut off! The above should say PayPlan and Christians Against Poverty

@DayKay that's such a good way of looking at it! Another day closer to being debt free.

@fieryginger yes... i made the mistake of browsing Instagram this morning. I deleted it for months and scrolled though and remember why. Instant mood killer when you feel this way out.

@Tawdrylocalbrouhaha - to be honest I think all my friend have plans today, just chilling with their families. I always feel Sunday's are family time and don't want to impose on them! A Sunday with DD will be nice. First week back to school and I worked yesterday so some one on one time will be nice. I just woke up feeling like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.

overwhelmed I feel motivated and determined because I have only started on my money saving drive on Friday! No doubt I will feel really fed up in a few weeks too! Especially as we have a big work party coming up and I won’t be able to go because I have vowed to stop spending money on babysitters. Am definitely sympathetic to how you are feeling as I am sure it will really get me down after a while. I have to make it work though as I need a lump sum to move house and need to move for various reasons. Hope you end up having a nice day anyway. X

Thanks for your message @ResistanceIsNecessary. I appreciate all the supportive comments. I am a strong person. I soldier on through life. But then when I feel low, it's hits me.

Thanks for your suggestions. I'll take a look. I'm just worried any type of 'help' will have a negative impact on my credit history.

I would try giving your CC a call to explain your situation, they may freeze interest? Worth a shot.
You are doing anazing but you need something to live for.
Could you post a vague incomings outgoings and ppl could advise you?
Just think once its paid off how different life will be!
Well done x

Also go for foodbanks to relieve the pressure of buying food, thats why they are there.

@Mummadeeze - it's not easy but there is a nice feeling of having an end goal and working towards it. Take a look at Miss Mummy Penny's blog. I came across it when I was googling for some inspiration. She talks about the emotional impact debt can have and had some great tips. Good luck with your goal. Have a lovely Sunday. Xx