To feel so down today?

[overwhlemed]

It's not even 7am and I feel like crap.

Brief back story.

Single mum
In thirties
Ex sees DD a couple of times a week
I work full time in a job a love.

I'm desperately trying to pay of about £5k in credit cards, all (little) extra money is being ploughed into that. I have to do it or I'll be paying them off for years.

It's so hard, I have hardly any extra cash, I need some new work clothes, I can only buy minimum food. I feel like life is passing me by. Everyone else seems to have families and plans and doing 'stuff'. I can barely scrape money together for bus fares. Financially things will get easier over the next year if I keep to my plan. I don't know, I just feel lonely and deflated. Watching everyone live their lives. Family live in another city. I have amazing friends, I really do. But at 7am with a while Sunday ahead of me, just me and DD (who I love so much). I just feel lonely and fed up.....I also have health anxiety which just seems to 'flare up' on days like this.

Rant over. Anyone got any advice? x

I was going to suggest money saving expert site. Lots of useful suggestions and support.

I did surveys for a while - I did make a small amount of money but not the huge amounts suggested. I found that I'd spend 5mins answering questions and then get screened out so go in with your eyes open. Also look at the payout level. Eg: I think YouGov wouldn't payout until £50 which took me over a year to reach.
I also did one of those shop and scan surveys for a while but it was so time consuming that I gave up.

Good luck. Keep chipping away.

I was also a single mum, OP (widowed with two babies), and I know weekends can be tough and lonely. Also, one’s mood tends to be most depressed first thing in the morning then slowly improve during the day, so it’s not unusual to wake up on a Sunday feeling very down.
I found that going to church, and putting the DDs into Sunday school, was a huge mood lifter.
The social contact at church, having a good sing song with some rousing hymns, feeling loved by God and welcomed by my fellow worshippers, having a sense of purpose and belonging - these are all of great benefit.
My church also runs things like a free walking group, where everyone from kids, dogs and pensioners go out for a nice ramble and chat, and a drop in cafe, where you can turn up for some company.
It might be worth trying out your local church for some support, as well as all the lovely ideas from PPs.
Finally as Churchill said, just “ Keep on buggering on” - it will pass eventually and you will have a more secure debt free future in a year or two. Be very proud of how well you’re coping, and what a good mum you’re being, too. Sending you a hug.
God bless, OP.

it sounds hard I think getting out is the best idea what about BlackBerry picking then you can make a lovley crumble for pudding ? also if they are doing it in your area what about collecting andcdecorsting rocks then hiding them ?

I'm in a slightly different situation - childless and single again after my relationship imploded a couple of months ago. All of my friends have partners and children and I never see them at the weekend. I work from home so rarely see my colleagues during the week even, so can go for a good couple of weeks without really seeing anyone. Weekends are the worst because at least during the week I can go to meetings and see people and interact with them. At weekends it's just me, my dog and my elderly father who never wants to do anything. I've never been one to do things on my own so it's all so fucking depressing sometimes.

@Leighhalfpennysthigh - I hope your day is going ok Leigh. I'm sorry to hear you think you're in a helpless situation. I wish I could offer some words that would make you feel better. Feeling is isolated is hard but please know, no situation is static, life ebbs and flows and you never know what's round the corner. I hope you're enjoying your Sunday x

Can I just say, don't assume your friends who have partners don't want to see you at the weekend.

We moved some years ago and don't have any "couple" friends anymore and we don't have any family nearby. DH, DD and I would be more than happy to meet up on a Saturday or Sunday with a single friend. Also, DH and DD frequently bugger off to do sport so I'd love to sometimes meet up with a friend. As PP said, it's only on MN that everyone wants to closet themselves up doing "family time" all bloody weekend.

Thanks @Ivaidea . You're probably right I never really ask.

I've been a bit up and down mood wise today. Just in my mind not my outward demeanour. DD is sat happily playing with Lego. I'm on with said roast. We went for a walk and nipped to supermarket. Got a taxi back, didn't cost much. It's not far but the bags were heavy. Milk, potatoes etc. Went we were in the taxi I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. My whole body aches. Think it's just been on of those mentally draining days.

I've taken another look at my finances and there are a few small ways I can make changes. Reducing the biggest credit card stinger my £30 a month means it will only take me a month or two longer to pay my debt, but would probably help me in the long run. I'm mentally shattered.

We got sticky toffee pudding for dessert as a treat, it won't help my waistline but it's a one off! xx

@Babdoc thanks for your kind words. I'm so sorry to hear about your experience, that must have been an absolutely devastating situation for you and your children. I'm glad you found solace in your local church. I'm sure you were welcomed in.

Sounds like your children have a very strong mum. They sound lucky to have you. Finding light in a difficult situation. What a fabulous lesson to teach them.

I agree mornings feel the worst.

And yes keep buggering on! Wise words. I'll always find a way to fight on. Have to don't we. Xx

@worriedmamma12 - I empathise, I really do. Don't worry to much about your children going on fancy day trips. You're their mama and that count for more than a trip to Alton towers.

Things will get better I am sure. We just have to keep the faith xx

It can be tough being a single mother and having financial problems doesn't help. Have you got access to the internet? if so why not sign up for an online course. There are many online courses offered my international universities that are free. Or if you are interested in learning a language you can go online and start a duolingo course.Personally I have found that doing something like this gives me a sense of achievement and that can be really good when things are getting you down.

I could have written your post @OP

My only advice is to pop out the house, not dwell indoors all day.
Or write a list with few things you'd like to achieve this week.
Activities that help with living life (even just a trip to the park), stops the feeling of life passing by, ime

@whattheheck5 thanks got your advice. I do have access to the internet and I'm sure there are course I can do to further or at least enhance my career.

@CityFarmer - thanks for the tips. I really appreciate people taking time to offer me some advice. This thread has really helped me today. I work full time so leave the house at 07:30 and don't get in until 6ish. I can get by without spending lots of money. It's good to know people can understand. Not that I wish this situation on anyone! I have no one to blame but myself and I know that. I take full ownership. Have you got yourself out of the situation now?

Thanks to everyone who has posted and offered advice and kind words today. It really has helped. Today has been tough. I feel so heavy, like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders, I can feel it in my posture. Tomorrow is a new day though. I'm going to keep my chin up and power on.