5.45am and they're still up...

[looby1304]

Came back to my parents house today due to us having a family meal tomorrow. Mum was out, so stepdad and husband went to pub for a pint while I stayed in with 10 month old baby (not a problem so far). They rock in at half 1, husband comes bursting into bedroom to get his jumper so they can sit outside and carry on drinking, wakes me up. They are still there now.
Baby will be up in 20 minutes or so and I haven't been able to get back to sleep since.
I'm pretty sure I'm NBU to kick off when I take the bay downstairs shortly, am I?

Nope, hope your husband doesn’t think he’s going to spend the day sleeping

He definitely won't be sleeping, he'll be forced to sit through the family meal surrounded by four children under 4

One good thing - your DH and step dad get along OK. Look on the bright side .

I wouldn't kick off, just absolutely insist that he does the lion's share of the childcare tomorrow since you stayed in with him last night. Let him experience the joys of parenting whilst shattered and hung over...... that will be punishment enough!

If he’s generally a good husband then cut him some slack. It’s so much more useful to have something like this in the bank for when you want a night out or afternoon off.
I used to nag my other half all the time. No one was happy, most of all me. So I started to let him enjoy his life a bit more, rather than going on at him all the time. And a miracle happened!! He started treating me better and we started getting along really well. Be happy he’s had fun, let him sleep this morning and after the lunch, hand the baby over with a smile and get to bed!

I would be pissed off, but not furious. If this isn't a weekly occurrence for him and he's good the rest of the time then it's not the end of the world. Few hours sleep and then on baby-duty whilst you enjoy your relaxing meal with your family!

And this means you get a whole weekend to do as you please in the future.

I'd be happy they get on, if they're not drunk, then I'd take the baby down now plonk it on them and go back upstairs 😴

Maybe this is a good time to arm any nearby small children with their noisiest toys and send them off to show him.
Definitely let him do the childcare this morning

I'm with Sandysmam. This is one to chalk up and cash in at a later date.

Sounds like they had a great time, let him sleep til lunch then he needs to be back in the game.

If this is a very, very occurrence then he’s off the hook. However he still has his share of responsibilities once he’s had a couple of hours’ sleep. Next weekend you are away overnight, aren’t you, OP?

Rare occurrence. (Not slept well myself!!!!)

This wouldn't bother me particularly providing he doesn't think he's going to be grumpy arsed lazy sod later. I'd expect him to do exactly the same things as if he'd been in bed all night (then I might suggest he goes for a sleep later if there was time). If he feels shit it's his own fault for stopping hinself from going to bed.

Mine does this. Just assumes I'll do the childcare whilst he gets to chat to his family all night whilst I look after the kids. Then assumes he'll get a lie in. Nope.

Get out the drum kit and pack of cards (Snap, of course).

Is he pissed though? Because handing over a baby to someone really tired and pissed up isn't going to work, is it....

Aaaaah I just read that he's going to bed for a bit. Sorry.

@daisychain01 beat me to the drums

Lots of sugar needs to be pumped into those children, then the OP needs to disappear upstairs to settle the baby for their nap (their as in both of them! )

If this is a very, very rare occurrence then he’s off the hook.
Nope sorry.
If he hasn’t actually had a chat with the OP and checked she is happy to do all the childcare etc...on her own, then he is taking her for granted.
He is expecting her to donthe chodcare by default and shows ge disent see looking after his win as his responsibility.

I also wonder how he is going to cope with th the meal AND the drive back himrcat the end if the day. I imagine he also expecting the OP to drive because he is tired???

Please don’t use your DC to score points today. Tag team so you both get enough sleep to feel better. As pp have said, this one goes in the bank for when you want a break.

I'd be really fucking annoyed. Because it's obvious looking after baby is going to fall solely on you today as he's going to be in no fit state. When my oh and I sleep over at my families and have a drink it's all on me the next day, I get up with the kids whilst he strolls out of bed around 10am (not too bad) but he then proceeds to nap on the sofa on and off all day!!

I would’ve said something way before 5:45!

You are visiting your mother's house and she wasn't there?

Is she back now?

I would have been down to speak to my OH at 1am.

I wouldn't kick off I would simply leave. Go home. Tell your mother you can meet somewhere for lunch later.
Was she OK with her boyfriend drinking till this hour?

All seems very messy.

I came down with the baby at 6.15 and they were still going strong, strongly suggested that they went to bed for all of our sakes! I'm fairly sure they know I'm not impressed, both looked very sheepish!
Childcare will definitely fall to me today, as will the drive home I expect. Probably for the best really though, and at least I've got one in the bank!

Just leave.

Even if these adolescent men manage to get through the day it's going to be a shite event.

Grab your things and go home.

I would not tolerate this for one moment.

Be a good role model.

As pp have said, this one goes in the bank for when you want a break.
I might be wrong there but I don’t see someone who is acting like this going for the ‘this one goes in the bank for next time’.
Because that sort if behaviour shows he didn’t see childcare as his responsibility. So it’s likely that if the OP needs some time off too (an evening PLUS the whole day after as her DH is going to do) it will be all about him helping and making a huge effort.

I’m also uncomfortable with the idea that the OP, as a mother and woman, somehow needs to have ‘one in the bank’ befire she can actually hope to have some time off too.

Two partners shouod support each other re looking after the dcs. But it starts with BOTH parents taking full responsibility of the fact you have two dcs that needs looking after.
He didn’t.