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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5.45am and they're still up...

92 replies

looby1304 · 09/09/2018 05:48

Came back to my parents house today due to us having a family meal tomorrow. Mum was out, so stepdad and husband went to pub for a pint while I stayed in with 10 month old baby (not a problem so far). They rock in at half 1, husband comes bursting into bedroom to get his jumper so they can sit outside and carry on drinking, wakes me up. They are still there now.
Baby will be up in 20 minutes or so and I haven't been able to get back to sleep since.
I'm pretty sure I'm NBU to kick off when I take the bay downstairs shortly, am I?

OP posts:
speakout · 09/09/2018 08:35

easyandy101

It's not the OP who would fuck up the day for everyone, it's her OH.

pictish · 09/09/2018 08:37

I’ve done a few talk-all-nighters followed by obligations the next day myself. You never plan these things...sometimes it’s a case of going with the flow and later regretting it...but hey, what would life be without a little spontaneity and variety?
Luckily my dh is a peach and understanding of such occasions...he’s always on hand to take the reins where needed and steer me into the shower so I’m able and presentable for whatever follows next. It’s a two way street as I have done the same for him.

Putting the world to rights and forming bonds with people is important and sometimes you have no say in when it occurs. Such is life.

sweethope · 09/09/2018 08:38

My Dh used to do this kind of thing regular. My trouble was i let him get away with it. Oh if only i could have my time back again.

pictish · 09/09/2018 08:39

How is he fucking up the day for everyone? Stop being so dramatic!

Sunnyjac · 09/09/2018 08:39

It’s not actually his fault that you couldn’t get back to sleep though, however frustrating for you

JiltedJohnsJulie · 09/09/2018 08:44

Why didn’t you try to suggest he came to bed when he woke you OP?

Ageee with sone of the others, I wouldn’t be cross, unless it was happening all if the time, and I wouldn’t be point scoring either. I’d just arrange a bloody good night out with my friends.

daisychain01 · 09/09/2018 08:46

Away you go, you uptight article

I say, pictish that sounds jolly Shakespearean for this time of day Grin

Needahairbrush · 09/09/2018 08:47

Your DH has displayed monumentally selfish behaviour, keeping you awake, complete disregard for any childcare today and boozing until 6am like a single man.
I’m sure I would have been texting him to tell him to STFU whilst he was outside though.
I would also let the kids make a massive racket with noisy toys and go into his bedroom to chat etc whilst he is trying to sleep off his hangover. Let him share the pain of no sleep too.

easyandy101 · 09/09/2018 08:53

The days not fucked up yet

If op goes mental though then the day will 100% go down in history as the day she fucked everything up because normal people do not flip the table over minor indiscretions

Original poster
looby1304 · 09/09/2018 08:58

I have no intention of going mad and spoiling the day for everyone, yes I'll probably have a quiet word about his choice of timing once the meal is over and done with, but that will be it. Things seem a lot worse at 5 in the morning so it's actually probably good that I didn't storm downstairs then and have a massive go

OP posts:
peridito · 09/09/2018 09:00

pictish - I think I've just fallen a little in love with you ! And your husband Smile

pictish · 09/09/2018 09:01

Well said Easyandy...but this is mumsnet where to be a husband and/or father is to renounce all independent thoughts and/or actions that are not synonymous with serving your wife and/or children, without exception.

mostdays · 09/09/2018 09:02

I would be cross.
I wouldn't shout or anything at this point. I'd just ignore him and get on with my day. But when we were safely home I would let him know what a selfish dickhead I thought he was. And I would hope his hangover made him feel absolutely awful.

neffall · 09/09/2018 09:03

the day she fucked everything up

SHE fucked up?!!!

Oh, I don't think so!

pancaketosser · 09/09/2018 09:09

I'd have been pissed off at 6am as well, but by now I reckon I'd be planning on royally taking the piss out of both of them all day as they struggle through the family meal. Partly because there's two of them, misery loves company and all that.

(But as others have said, it depends whether this was a one off or something that was happening regularly.)

Sparkletastic · 09/09/2018 09:13

Are you sure it was just alcohol they were taking?

motortroll · 09/09/2018 09:22

God people are desperate for a new angle one this??!! The op said they were drinking and chatting all night. Is that so inconceivable???

Mrsmadevans · 09/09/2018 09:22

Are they having an affair Grin

Shockers · 09/09/2018 09:31

They’re going to feel lousy later! Grin

ImogenTubbs · 09/09/2018 09:32

I would be pissed off but recognise that I was being unreasonable. Unless this happens all the time and as long as he is fine with you heading off on a night out and stepping up, then I would let this one go. Everyone needs to blow off steam from time to time.

Castleonacloud · 09/09/2018 09:32

OP, I think you’ve handled the situation well and probably much the same as I would.

My OH doesn’t go out often and we both agree that time off is something we should both have. I understand that he went out, and the sensible thing to do would have come to bed when he got in, but sometimes, if you’re having a lovely evening, you want it to carry on longer. They’re family and it’s great that they get on. As you say ‘you’ve one in the bank’ so go and enjoy yourself when the situation comes around.

Enjoy your meal today with the whole family, smile inside that he’s suffering a bit from a silly choice, pass him the painkillers and have a great day!

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 09/09/2018 09:34

If he’s generally a good husband I’m with @pictish and others, deal with it with humour!

I wish my DP has bothered to bond with my step father. I wish he’d stayed up all night with him. My step father died a few years ago and now we can’t really share memories about him.

WilburIsSomePig · 09/09/2018 09:41

So he's fucked up. I get that and no, I would not be thrilled, but some of these comments are so over dramatic. I don't know how people have the energy to get their knickers in such a fankle about every fucking thing. Clearly, if this is a regular occurrence I would feel differently but it sounds like it's a one-off and he's a decent husband and father (and no, one incident like this does not mean that he isn't).

Suggestions that the OP should up and leave, that she has 'no self-respect' make me roll my eyes so far back in my head they could disappear. One can only assume that those posters baying for her DH's blood have never fucked up in their entire lives. Well done them.

ShesABelter · 09/09/2018 09:46

Absolutely agree with everything pictish says.

Speakout you need to chill the fuck out.

Jeezoh · 09/09/2018 09:46

Totally agree Wilbur! But then there’s lots of people on here who just love to nitpick and claim they would react in a totally over the top way that I bet they wouldn’t actually do in real life!

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