AIBU to think that nursery staff should not kiss children?

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www.itv.com/news/2018-09-07/majority-of-staff-not-allowed-to-kiss-nursery-children/

“Sue Learner, editor of daynurseries.co.uk, said: It is very sad so many nursery staff feel unable to show affection to children by kissing them”

AIBU to think it’s totally correct and not allowed all sad that nursery staff dont kiss children? It’s unhygienic! Literally yesterday it was in the news about a baby who almost died due to contracting herpes.

I was a pre-school practitioner and we cuddled, held hands and held on our lap for cuddles, but kissing wasn't really something that we did, other than if I had a child who had hurt themselves or was very upset for any other reason, I would sometimes kiss the top of their heads without really thinking about it, much as I would my own child or a friend's. It was never something 'not' to do but it was unspoken that it wasn't an everyday thing. My DS went to the same pre-school with largely the same staff and I would be happy to send another there or recommend it. Sadly, many children are starved of affection and comfort.

No problem with it, I like my child to feel affection and it gives me confidence that the staff really care for my child.

I chose my LO childminder because she treats her mindees like part of her family. She gives them the same love, protection and care as she does her own children and that includes showing affection through hugs, kisses and cuddles. Unfortunately I had to go back to work when he turned a year and I think at that age they still need nurturing and high level of care. I couldn't imagine sending him off to someone who cared for him in a stark and cold manner. I want him to be treated with love just like he is at home.

Whatever your take on kissing., OP, I think you'll have to accept that the adults caring for your child on a daily basis are not going to be strangers but a big part of their lives and quite possibly more important to them than some if their relatives.

I think you have got this all wrong OP.

Small children need lots of physical affection and if you are not there to provide it and choose for their care to come from elsewhere, then you have to recognise that the much needed physical affection will have to come from the carers you have chosen. They need this as much as they need food and protection from danger.

"I don’t want to put my mouth on a cheek where someone else’s mouth has been." - maybe you should sterilise your child's cheek when they get home, just in case you catch something!!

Seeking carers who approach the children like robots might allow you to retain the exclusivity of your relationship with the child - no-one but us can give physical affection - but it will not be good for your child.

Choosing for other carers to be involved with your child means that they will do lots of things that you see as your role. It cannot be otherwise - if you are not there, then someone else has to do it.

It is hard giving up your child to the care of others; but you must not let your child be sold short over this.

I think that children denied physical contact with their caregivers is sadder.

It is, but you don't have to be denied physical contact to deny kissing. There is an in between. I wouldn't like it and I'd definitely prefer they stick to cuddles.

I chose the nursery my DDs went to specifically because they did kiss, cuddle and comfort the children. I needed them to have physical contact and affection if I couldn’t give it to them because I was at work. They were only a year old when they started nursery - far too young to understand why they might be denied affection

Even your family don't kiss each other/ the children??

I love kissing my DGC. and they are quite happy to come for a kiss and to kiss back.

I can (Just about) respect your views on nursery staff but I've never come across an attitude like that with regards to family!

Horrible. I really think it's horrible

Everyone has to kiss everyone else nowadays! Similarly, everyone cries at the drop of a hat (especially on TV).
Please bring back our stiff upper lip.

Oh gly yes, let's repress our emotions and teach children it's wrong to cry. We can't have them being in touch with their feelings

The I don't want to put my lips on a place someone else has put their lips is a bit odd op. I'm sure parts of you have touched far worse surfaces than a 3 hour ago kissed cheek.

However the whole they should kiss kids because they need physical affection is also silly. They can have cuddles and hugs, hand holding and carrying etc all without kissing. Children don't need kisses. They need affection.

Your parents haven’t kissed you since you became an adult?! I got a kiss from my mum on my head just the other day. Even got a hug and a kiss on my cheek from my dad before I started a new job. You don’t kiss your nieces and nephews? Wow, that’s odd. And a bit cold. Your parents don’t kiss your kids?!

I suspect your ‘rules’ are not a product of this extremely rare example of a herpes virus being passed on, but actually having been brought up in what seems like a slightly repressive family environment.

I used to work in a Childminders. I would often cuddle the kids and kiss them on the top of their heads. I spent 9 hours a day 5 days a week with some of them and you can't help but bond with them. I think it's sad that anyone would think anything sinister about this. Kids need love and affection.

My DS’ nursery workers used to get extremely well kissed when he was a toddler, he didn’t really give people much choice.

I think there’s more important things to worry about

The same story is in the Daily Mail and there are several hundred comments which mostly agree that it’s unhygienic and unprofessional for nursery staff to kiss children. So I guess it’s not just me who thinks that then.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6144557/Nursey-staff-claim-kiss-children-care-fears-accused-abuse.html

I wouldn't say that sharing an opinion with the majority of daily mail commenters was a positive thing. Quite the opposite.

My son actually moves towards and makes his kissing motions towards his key worker. Cos he loves her so.

It would be such a sad environment if they’re weren’t able to give basic human warmth to such small children. It makes me really sad. I’d hate it if DS didn’t get kisses and cuddles at nursery. His nursery staff are wonderful.

I remember being so relieved when my lo was telling me that they hurt themselves at nursery and their key worker, “kissed them better. “ I knew st that point that they were being cared for in a warm and affectionate environment.

So I guess it’s not just me who thinks that then.

But I bet it's mostly you that doesn't allow family to kiss your DC.

Not on the lips though

I wouldn't want any of the nursery staff to kiss my child! Our child minder of 5 years hugs this is appropriate I think

Posters saying they think nurseries don't offer kisses comfort are being tad over dramatic childcarers who don't kiss toddlers are not the bloody childcatcher you can comfort without kissing.

Aw - I don’t have a problem with appropriate kisses and cuddles- I think most children would enjoy that affection too

I guess it comes down to what type of kissing. Kiss on the forehead? Kiss on the temple? These are all fine. I find kissing on the lips a bit odd. Indotn recall even kissing my parents on the lips when I was a kid.

You can show affection in so many ways suchs as hugging, cuddling and handholding. I don't have anything against kissing but I don't really see it as a necessity either.