AIBU to think that nursery staff should not kiss children?

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www.itv.com/news/2018-09-07/majority-of-staff-not-allowed-to-kiss-nursery-children/

“Sue Learner, editor of daynurseries.co.uk, said: It is very sad so many nursery staff feel unable to show affection to children by kissing them”

AIBU to think it’s totally correct and not allowed all sad that nursery staff dont kiss children? It’s unhygienic! Literally yesterday it was in the news about a baby who almost died due to contracting herpes.

I don’t want to put my mouth on a cheek where someone else’s mouth has been because you might get cooties?!

Obviously if someone has herpes or anything else then they shouldn't be kissing people or spreading it in any way. And children shouldn't be kissed against their will. But otherwise it all sounds rather miserable.

DH and I are the only ones who kiss our DC but even we don’t do lip kisses

Do you not have wider family who see your DC?

Fucks sake op, are you completely void of joy? Tiny kids needs affection. I have no problem with this.

This is one of the reasons I left nursery childcare and started working as a nanny. I was in a baby room with a little 6 month old who was in 8am to 6pm 5 days a week, nothing wrong with that if family needs it, but I once gave her a hug and a peck on the forehead. The head of room pulled me aside and told me they'd let it slide this time as I didn't know but to be very very careful, only physically interact with the children for actual reasons such as picking up a baby to move them or wipe mouth or change nappy, as anything like a hug or kiss could be seen as a sexual interaction. It made me so sad, not being able to say kiss a bumped elbow better or hug someone who fell- you interact only enough to get them up. Only supposed to hold hands for safety, not for comfort in playground or anything. I've never in my life kissed any child on the lips, or for sexual reasons!

I chose my children's nursery specifically because they hugged and gave little pecks when appropriate and comforted when needed. Removal of normal human contact Just raises children to think the world is uncaring and harsh and I feel not good for there ongoing mental health

I was thinking about this just recently how the experience my daughter had, the first 3 years of her life - She was getting so many cuddles and kisses throughout the day from me- I couldn’t stop myself. I imagined how different her early life would have been if she’d been cared for by someone who didn’t love her, and wondered if childcare workers would be allowed to do this. Otherwise those children would miss out on all that affection. It’s really great to read here from other that nursery workers can provide this when their parents can’t be there .

It’s so sad that such young children are missing out on affection because of the squeamishness of adults. I worked in a nursery many moons ago and some of the adults used to cuddle and kiss the children on the forehead or cheek. It’s sad that it’s being interpreted as inappropriate, some children spend more waking hours in day care than with their own family. The staff are some children’s primary carers.

I don’t mind the kissing. Actually I feel it’s rather cold that we let children spend almost half the day while being given the cold shoulder

I don't think it has to be all or nothing. Cuddles, yes. Kisses, no.

I thought nursery staff could actually be fired if they kissed children. That was how it was at our nursery anyway.
We could give a comforting cuddle to a child if they needed it but the child always had to start any contact and if they left or pulled away that was it. Toddlers were also allowed to sit on laps if they wanted but not preschoolers as they aren't allowed in school.
It could be so easy for a childcare professional to kiss a child inappropriately if alone and if they told a parent the professional could quite easily say it was just a peck or on the head etc.
I think there should definitely be a law on how affectionate professionals are with a child in a setting so that it's all black and white with no grey areas for limits to be pushed.

We lived in Mexico for a couple of years, we all had to kiss the teachers, parents and DC alike! Once we met a teacher in a bookstore and we all had to kiss her hello and five minutes later goodbye, it took ages to get anywhere but we all survived quite happily.

My child needs a million kisses a day, just to stay alive. If my child needs a kiss, I expect the closest appropriate adult to deal with it.

You don't want people to kiss your kid OP? It's your call. It wouldn't be mine.

As a nanny of over 20 years I can say I kissed all of my charges and I think my bosses would have been horrified if I didn't.

I don’t want to put my mouth on a cheek where someone else’s mouth has been

This, together with GoldilocksAndTheThreePears's account makes me so sad and so glad I live in Mexico where everyone kisses everyone and children get showered with love (and I haven't seen a cold sore in years).

Your poor little child, OP.

I find your stance on this very, very sad. My daughter is only 7 weeks old and I love seeing her being showed affection and kissed by other people. Albeit, I wouldn't want kisses on the lips from anyone except me and DH but heads, hands and cheeks is more than OK.

Most children are are nursery for most of their week - it's quite sad that there would be a lack of affection in that time, given that it's so important to development if nothing else.

Taking it way too far OP, I think you are being massively unreasonable and projecting your issues. Children need physical contact to secure attachement. I'd go talk to a psychologist about why I'm so freaked out about it tbh.

As long as they don't kiss DC who are immunocomprimised.

This is really sad. The sickos of the world who want to abuse children will still find a way of doing so, meanwhile those normal lovely nursery workers (ie the majority) are having to withhold vital affection from tiny children for fear of being seen to be inappropriate. Professionalism means different things in different contexts, nurses are highly professional but good ones offer comfort where it’s needed. When you’re working with toddlers I think not showing affection (whether this is cuddles, kisses) is actually very unprofessional as it’s such a crucial requirement for children of this age.

Gosh. DD will be going to nursery full time when I go back to work. It never occurred to me to ask how affectionate the staff are with the children. I'd hate the idea of her going all day without cuddles and a peck on the head. It's such a natural thing to do when holding a baby I think.

I wouldn't expect the nursery staff to follow the same rules as teachers - nursery is a substitute for home, not school.

At our nursery the staff in the baby room, where the children are until the key are 2, kiss and cuddle the children. I'm completely happy with this, my kids love a kiss and cuddle and I want them to be happy.

I am so glad that DS gets kisses at nursery. He is little and needs physical affection. I have seen the kisses and it's on the cheek or top of the head, never the lips.

You sound like a very cold fish, OP. I feel sorry for your child.

I chose the nursery for my child because on the day I visited, a child was getting very upset and the staff member in that area couldn’t attend to him. Another staff member swept in, picked up the distraught child and gave him a proper cuddle and kiss on the cheeks and he calmed down immediately.
I’d rather that than my child left to cry or kept at arms length. It really reassured me that the nursery was a warm environment.

Don't go to Spain OP. Even the waitresses in the restaurants were giving my 18mo kisses on his head this week.