Parenting - is DD ‘too dependant’ or should my friend keep their opinions to themselves

[Zofloramummy]

So I’m a SP, since DD was 18 months old her dad isn’t on the scene.

She is now 7 and has just started Juniors. We are very close and do lots together. Over the last few months she has been wanting to sleep in my room. I have allowed this as a treat but she now wants to sleep in my bed more frequently. I am tackling this by limiting it to ‘treats’. I remember being the same with my mum around this age.

My friend commented that they think we are over attached, that she is ‘dependant’ on me and that this is making her an anxious child.

I was a little 😮. Throughout her life she has had phases of being more clingy and then is fine again. She goes to Brownies, has a wide circle of school friends, plays well with others.

There is only us in our home. My friend has a partner and two kids. Their family life looks very different.

So AIBU by thinking that they should keep their opinions to themselves? I felt quite shocked and as though my parenting had been judged and found to be deficient. Bit upset really.

When I was a child my mother never let me sleep in her bed even if I'd had a nightmare.
I was an extremely anxious child and a "people pleaser".
Mine have always been able to get in our bed if they wanted to or ask me to go to theirs. I slept with the 14 year old a few months ago when she had a nightmare. They know I am there for them and they have a secure base. The older one does have some anxiety issues but they are both more confident than I ever was and definitely not people pleasers!

This is kind of reassuring although my 7 year old sleeps with me because he's anxious and scared which means it's a problem ? We've struggled with his sleep his entire life and I just don't know what to do anymore. DS2 sleeps happily by himself.