Re putting children on your lap on public transport

[user1485342611]

Someone in work this morning was saying that she had to stand the whole way in on the bus while at least three adults with toddlers allowed those toddler to take up a whole seat. We were all agreeing that they should have put the toddlers on their laps to free up 3 seats during rush hour. Apart from one colleague who has a 4 year old and didn't see why he should be denied a seat or she should have to put up with feeling 'a bit squashed' just so someone else could have the seat.

When I was a child it was just the norm for kids under a certain age to be pulled onto their mother's lap when the bus started filling up. No one thought twice about it.

AIBU to think it's a shame that parents don't do this anymore and that my colleague is being a bit selfish?

It's the idea of privilege of becoming an adult e.g. Vote at 18, 21:key to the door.
Yes letting adults sit down in comfortable chair at a family gathering or sleeping on a camp bed so dgm can have your bed.

I really want to know why working class people do a needs based assessment ie who needs my seat more? The pregnant 16 yo, the 90 granny or the 30 man on the way to work or my 4 yo. But nice upper class people simply go in age order irrespective of need

No one is suggesting children sit on floors anitagreen, just small children sit on their parents lap or older children stand for those less able. A call for good manners really.

So adults can be big peasants instead Anita.what is awful about it.

They have carpet time at school in primary and I remember sitting on the flor in assemblies

I used to prefer sitting on the floor when I was a child, or lying on the carpet reading my book. I didn't realise I was behaving like a peasant.

We had to sit on lap or if we were old enough, stand. My mother wouldn't have allowed us to take a seat if someone else needed it. It's something I'll teach my kids!

But it isn’t just those less able sue some posters believe that they should stand for any adult even those who are perfectly able!

I was brought up to give the seat to those who needed it more than me. What sort of person thinks age takes priority over need? What on earth did your parents teach you?

nobody has to sit on the floor but if parents are going to bring pre-schoolers onto the tube at rush hour, then yes they should sit on laps.
They need to learn to move for those less able to stand.
sadly many children have never learnt this.
You see them here on the free bus at weekends, lovely middle class kids sitting on priority seats, gazing obliviously out of the window while old people have to stand.
They have literally never been taught how to behave on public transport.

snuggy [envy}

I think children seeing healthy young adults offering seats to those in need is a better way to teach compassion than making children give up seats for adults who could manage without.

Well that worked

I always had to sit on my mum's lap if the bus was full. It was the norm back then and a way of ensuring the maximum number of people got seats in rush hour.

When did it become such a big deal?

I think things are getting mixed up here. Everyone knows to give up seats those more in need either by popping a toddler on your lap or the parent standing so someone more in need can sit down.

What people are disagreeing on is children having to stand and give up seats for able bodied adults simply because they are adults.

I would probably take a small child (under 6) on to my lap to let an adult have seat. It's been a while since I was on a bus but I regularly have my niece on my knee during pantos (soo she sees better) and I don't feel squashed at all. I think 3 people being comfortable sitting is better than 2 as DC would hopefully be happy cuddled up on my lap x

The best way to teach your child to have respect and consideration for others is to let them see you being considerate, so instead of insisting your child gets up and gives someone else a seat do it your bloody self and then your child might have respect for you aswell.

They taught me to be considerate mostdays.

It isn't just dc that should stand for someone less able, it should be be closest able person regardless of age.

yes but if children are not taught it, then they have no chance of becoming a considerate adult, do they?
My teenage son always stands for old ladies, you should see the shock on their faces...

I agree fourfriedchickens. I have seen children completely ignoring elderly people standing while they hog the priority seats but, when prompted by another passenger, will stand up very willingly.

A lot of them aren't being intentionally rude or selfish, they just don't know any better because they haven't been taught to be aware of others on public transport.

My petite 7 year old still sits on my lap on busy transport.

But children should learn by example four not by some sort of “we are better than you” mentality.

By the views of some on here when they hit 18 they don’t need to stand anyway because it becomes the responsibility of the children to do so!

no, they just need 'training up' by their parents.

Anyway it hardly happens these days. Most children have been raised being strapped in the back of a car like a crash test dummy.

But sirzy if children only ever see their parent standing up and are always allowed to remain in their seat, then they will just assume that it's always up to 'someone else' to give up their seat for a person in need. It is important, at some stage, to start making them stand up in order to get the message across that they cannot just remain in their seat regardless of how full the bus is and who is getting on.

I have lived abroad for 45+ years and don't recognize the country I read about here.

That went wrong?