Re putting children on your lap on public transport

[user1485342611]

Someone in work this morning was saying that she had to stand the whole way in on the bus while at least three adults with toddlers allowed those toddler to take up a whole seat. We were all agreeing that they should have put the toddlers on their laps to free up 3 seats during rush hour. Apart from one colleague who has a 4 year old and didn't see why he should be denied a seat or she should have to put up with feeling 'a bit squashed' just so someone else could have the seat.

When I was a child it was just the norm for kids under a certain age to be pulled onto their mother's lap when the bus started filling up. No one thought twice about it.

AIBU to think it's a shame that parents don't do this anymore and that my colleague is being a bit selfish?

Nona tbh, I'm with you on why I would have put DD on my lap too.

The cinema example is a mute point, as a cinema isn't going to sell more tickets for a show than there are seats. So no one has to stand.

I think the train example is similar, because if you've booked seats then it's pretty much guaranteed that you are on a longer train journey & I agree that you can't have a kid on your lap or have them stand for a long time, plus you have booked those seats, so to me & I would guess most people, that gives you & your DCs priority

The elderly have probably paid NI contributions at some point.

Possibly not. Plenty of elderly women worked little or not at all.

Because surely, even if you can't agree that bringing them up to respect their elders & have them do the polite thing & give up their seats to an adult. Can you not at least get, that if you are not paying a full fare price for them, their entitlement to a seat, is trumped by an adult who does pay full fare confused

Nope, don't agree their right to a seat is trumped by all able-bodied adults. I teach them that respect is a two-way street, not an automatic entitlement based on age, how ageist is that? I have no idea if the adults have paid full fare, either. Or care. First come, first served except for those who require priority seating.

NonaGrey

I didn't read what you said about the cinema, just went back and read it after I posted. Sorry stole it off you😂

But still I think they need a seat more than a dc who could sit on your lap.

Again someone making this stupid invalid point. Paying full price for public transport doesn't mean you are anymore entitled to a seat, public transport is for transporting you from A to B. Parents don't make up the prices for their children, I'm guessing that's the people who run the transport companies. My children don't pay as much as me at the cinema, next time I'll make them stand if it gets too busy shall I?

In your opinion, rude poster whose name I've already forgot.

Many moons ago, it's actually used to be a rule on public transport & I'm pretty sure that was the reasoning behind cheaper child fares. A Seats a seat, what business is going to sell you one at a cheaper price, without conditions attached?.

For the rest of it, mute point, see below

So whoever doesn't agree with you is rude? Righty-o.

I was brought up to give up my seat to an adult and brought up my son to do the same. When he was little if we travelled on a crowded tube he had the seat and I stood in front of him. He was traveling free; I'd only paid for one seat so that's all we took.

Also let's be honest there are plenty of adults whose behaviour and conduct leaves a lot to be desired. I don't know if teaching kids to blindly respect adults is always a good idea.

Timeisslippingaway I meant someone, not me. Given how ridiculous some of these comments are and how generally ridiculous comments about kids on buses can get, the whole attitude of I have more rights because I'm older nonsense. I'll talk to your child any time and entertain them with my singing 😁😁

rockin most public transport's terms of service is that you're paying for travel, not a seat. Whether someone has paid or not gives them no entitlement to a seat, just travel. Perhaps we should turf those who recieve free fares off the bus at all points to make way for full paying customers, standing or otherwise?

Can you not at least get, that if you are not paying a full fare price for them, their entitlement to a seat, is trumped by an adult who does pay full fare
So what happens if it there's no kids on, but lots of elderly paying cheap fares. Does my entitlement trump theirs because I'm paying full fare? Of course not

I often put my 4 year old on my lap to free up seats. I’m 8 months pregnant. Doesn’t matter. My child hasn’t paid for a seat

Which is fine Uber if he fits but at 8 months when I was sat on a bus I had no lap!!

Mn always has issues with this so when on the tube with my 3dc I sat and had a twin on each knee with Dd1 standing next to me, me holding her. Everyone insisted my dc had a seat each every single time. Seriously they were practically begging me to take their seat. In normal commute no one makes eye contact and has little opinion on these things. Far more memorable are the weird smelly people whose armpits I end up standing under and vomiting drunks singing the whole journey!

Everyone insisted my dc had a seat each every single time.

That’s my experience on the Tube too m0ther

Sorry, but I'm another who can't see for the life of me why my four year old should give up her seat for an apparently healthy, fit, strong 25 year old man (for example). Obviously for eg an OAP it would be different.

Can you not at least get, that if you are not paying a full fare price for them, their entitlement to a seat, is trumped by an adult who does pay full fare confused

Well I'd always pop my child on my lap if I could (child is perfectly happy there it's only me that will be less comfortable) so more people can sit down but if I had to choose between a toddler or a grown able bodied adult having the seat it would obviously be the toddler as they get thrown around more and it's actually quite dangerous where as the adult is more than capable of holding on.

Unless anyone is actually fare dodging I don't care how much they've paid. I definitely don't begrudge an elderly person who has a free bus pass a seat on the bus.

you don't think it's spoilt for a child to demand a seat and throw hysterics when they don't get it? pahaha the irony of this is too fucking much 🤣🤣 if a less abled person needs a seat and I include children maybe up to 10/11 in that group, I would stand up, therefore showing my child how it's done. You know the teach by example, not do as i say not as i do. Would I fuck expect my 7 year old to give up his seat for a perfectly able bodied adult though.

So whoever doesn't agree with you is rude? Righty-o. 

^ "Again someone making this stupid invalid point.^" Erm, there's nicer ways to disagree rude is perfectly valid call with comments like this 🙄

Sorry, but I'm another who can't see for the life of me why my four year old should give up her seat for an apparently healthy, fit, strong 25 year old man (for example). Obviously for eg an OAP it would be different.

Fair point, I'm fine with that Annakin, I would do the same tbh, it's the blanket "my 4 year old isn't giving up their seat & sitting on my lap" that I find odd

you don't think it's spoilt for a child to demand a seat and throw hysterics when they don't get it?

Not necessarily. You have no idea whether that child is feeling poorly, tired, overwhelmed. As said uptbread, little children have immature brains and incomplete skills. I'd think they're throwing a hissy because they're small and irrational. I'd judge their spoiltness on how the grown up caring for them responded.

When I was pregnant I was massive everyone kept saying it must be twins, while I was stood up on the bus. As no one would even move shopping bags off the seat next to them. So no I wouldn't make my child sit on my lap for an able bodied adult.

@RockinHippy

I don't remember your name either, just copy and paste, copy and paste. You are also very rude.

A lot of people purchase passes for public transport which gives them a discounted price. Usually people traveling to work, the very people on here expecting children to give up their seat for them. So I think you're may be the mute point.
The only people who have priority over seats these days are disabled people. No able bodied person is required to give up their seat to any other able bodied person as a condition of using public transport.

London has the hopper fare in place too, so they only pay for the first journey in a one hour period. I hope no able bodied adult who's on their second or third bus in an hour expects a seat over and above someone who's just paid for their first journey. TfL have just created themselves a giant unworthiness mess by trying to help bus users

I have my 4yo on the tube with me 3 or 4 times a week in rush hour. If we get a seat (we often do, the concept of Londoners as inconsiderate arseholes is misconceived!) then she sits on my lap.

I've only had to put her next to me once and that was during an absolutely almighty meltdown (she has ASD). By the time she'd calmed down and was sitting next to me she probably just looked "spoilt" but I didn't move her onto my lap as she reacts incredibly badly to being touched during or after a meltdown, as some well meaning individual tested as we got off, by coming over and fucking patting her.