My DM has known for the last few years that she would be coming into some money this year. It is a 6 figure amount. I have never expected nor asked for any of this money.
My DM however has had various different opinions on what to do with this money. There was the time she said she would use it to buy me a house, told me she would give it to me as it is my inheritance, told my children they and I would all have new cars, have holiday of a lifetime etc etc many times over the years. One thing that has been consistent is that she would pay my debt. This isn’t a huge amount around 6k and hasn’t been from flashy living etc I am a single mum with 4 children who works full time and just trying to keep afloat. Some of this is from my divorce etc. I am making repayments and in 3 years it will all be gone. The 5k is over a few different creditors.
So DM received her money 4 weeks ago and hasn’t mentioned anything about this money thing. She has made herself debt free, bought herself a new car and having some cosmetic work done. She has told my DSs several times how she will make my life easier ensure I have more cash each month and get myself and them new cars.
I spoke with my DM about this money as I don’t want cars, holidays etc it is HER money to spend as she so wishes but she has promised the debt thing every time I have cried over money or being short of money or having to choose between food and bills etc as it will free up £350 a month for me to be debt free (my XH left me with really bad credit rating and I needed to get a Loan which is on a really ridiculous APR) When I mentioned about her promise to pay the debt she flat out refused. She then said she will need to see all my paperwork and she will pick what she will pay but it will not be all of it.
For clarity when I once come into some money and she asked to borrow a substantial sum I did it in a heartbeat.
I feel really let down and like I am being treated like a child instead of a 40 year old woman. I gave her a brief rundown of what was from what but the Loan which I am desperate to get rid of she refused and picked the two lowest things which make only a small difference to my monthly outgoings and even that was a ‘I will see what I can do’. She even has been texting me asking about investment opportunities and saying how I should have some input as it is technically my money.
My friend thinks this is controlling behaviour and i should tell her to not worry. I feel like I am being grabby and disappointed at the same time. Please all know I do know it is her money to do with what she wants but she has promised me debt free living. I feel grabby even typing this…
AIBU or is she?