To expect DH to occasionally make his own way to the train station?

[AliceRR]

DH and I share a car currently but this is wholly of his making (long story) but it suits him for us to share. I’d rather we had our own cars.

We both work in the same city and get the train. The train station is only a mile from our house so we tend to travel together. We get the same train in the morning as it’s most convenient for both of us and coming home I could get an earlier one but tend to get the next one (half an hour later) so that we can both go home in the car together. Otherwise one of us would have to walk or if have to go back and get him and it just wouldn’t be worth it given the time.

Often, if one of us works late, the other will go back and pick up. There have been times when he has gone out after work and taken the car so I have walked or got a taxi and vice versa.

Tomorrow I have my 16w Mw appointment at 10 am so will not be going into work with him. I let him know and I did say that if I’m up I will take him to the station and chances are I would be up but I did ask that if I’m not awake then please don’t wake me. I’m pregnant and tired and seem to have cold after cold and TBH could benefit from the extra hour (or more!) in bed. I usually get up at 7:15 but could probably get up at around 9 for an appointment at 10 am close to home!

But he seemed put out by this and seemed to think I should get up if I expected to use the car.

It’s easier for me to keep the car BTW as I would otherwise need to make my way to the doctor’s surgery and then down to the train station so would be more to walk or more taxi fares.

This is not a deal breaker obviously but interested in others’ thoughts!

When I am on mat leave and he is working FT I think we would need two cars otherwise I will be stuck at home!

Or he could walk! We have DS and DC2 is on the way, we have just gone down to one car. We can afford to run 2 cars but the we don't need to. DH walks to and from the station twice a day, everyday. And did when we had 2 cars.

Your DH is just lazy!

Get him a bike. Even if you move three miles away he can manage that!

I agree. I'm amazed that he doesn't feel able/arsed to walk 1 mile! He should be doing it every day (as should you before you were pregnant) it's completely unnecessary to use a car for this.

Yes we don’t need to drive but we choose to. And yes it is still faster than walking as it’s a 20 min walk but 5-10 mins in the car (it was 5 during summer hols) and there is close parking.

You'll need two cars when on mat leave as he can't walk a mile??

Fucking hell-he should be ashamed of himself.

Of course he should leave you to sleep tomorrow & leave you the car for your appointment.

How is it even a possibility that that wouldn't happen?

The thing with cycling is I would want and I’m sure DH would want to shower and change before putting his suit on for work but he doesn’t have shower facilities at work. I don’t either ATM

I am guessing that while you are on maternity leave he will either expect you to drop him off (“you’ve got the whole day anyway” etc etc) or walk with baby to collect the car from the station after he has used it??

My friend does this with her DH. Drives him 4 miles to station at 7.15. Then drives home, gets ready for work then goes in herself. She then works later into the evening so she can pick him up from station on the way home. They have a 1yr old BMW beast so it’s not as if they only have one car out of financial necessity. If they ever have kids I’m worried for them in the same way, he’s so accustomed to having a fecking chauffeur service.

By the time I’m on mat leave we might not be living in the same place and it’s more likely to be 3-4 miles to a station. At the moment I just don’t know as we are looking in a few different places.

@Mumberjack I’m just not going to do that. Maybe I should just refuse to take him tomorrow so as not to start a precedent!

I think I’m too soft at times 🙈

And sometimes you get a taxi!

Seriously, a taxi for a journey of a mile!?

It will be much more difficult to facilitate his working life in this way when you have DC. If it’s reciprocal at the moment, fair enough.

I live in the commuter belt and know quite a few women, usually SAHMs, who drive their partners, with DC in the car, to and / or from the station.

I don’t know any men who do that.

Why on earth would anyone need to shower after a 1 mile cycle ride? If he - or you - want to be lazy, just come out and own it. Don't hide behind a smokescreen of excuses.

Another one adding to the chorus of ONE MILE?! As a non driver and therefore a frequent walker, a mile is absolutely nothing, it's approx a 15 minute walk.
I know a few drivers like this, who drive practically round the corner, which is what you're basically doing and it always baffles me! Just bloody walk, lazy sods! (Pregnancy aside, obvs as you don't always feel up to it)

Cycling/walking a mile won’t make anyone so sweaty they need a shower (if at all) well ok, maybe you OP as you’re pregnant and that’s a sweaty kinda time!!
I walked 3 miles in my lunch hour yesterday and didn’t require a shower before returning to work - I wasn’t in the slightest bit sweaty.
I may be missing the point but that stood out to me.
Yes, make him walk and stay in bed! And you’re way too soft! Be a meany, it’s good practice for when the baby comes

Use the fact you are having a baby as motivation into committing to a healthier lifestyle for you all. Or do you want your child to grow up thinking being strapped in the back of a car is normal?

You don't need a shower after mile long cycle downhill! It's less effort than walking.

Why do you feel you can't say no to him ? Does he think he's in charge?

You think you need a shower after walking a mile?

Why do either of you take the car on any given day (unless it’s chucking it down with rain) when it’s only a mile? People like you are the reason we have such a bad pollution problem.

@DarlingNikita No that’s not what I said 🙄

Now one or both of us could walk to work. My ref to showers was if we move and we are considerably further from a train station and cycled to the station or to work then would probably want a shower before putting on a suit for work!

A mile? That is like to my allotment and back!

@Seeingadistance One day DH had the car and I needed to go to the supermarket and get home. I was feeling tired and nauseous (in first trimmy after) and needed to go to supermarket for food on way home so I walked to supermarket and then got taxi from the supermarket.

I’ve also got a taxi previously if I’m carrying heavy files etc to work.

OP, thanks for the eye-rolling but you talked about needing a shower before you told us you might be moving further away, so of course none of us were going to know that was what you were talking about.