Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you charge 24 year old child rent?

166 replies

whyut · 03/09/2018 00:05

Hello,

My daughter has just finished her degree. She has moved back home. She is now going travelling, but not proper travelling. Random cheap holidays away, etc.

She has money saved for this.

She may be at home for a few weeks at a time not doing much until the next trip.

Would you charge her for the time she is at home?

Thanks

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 03/09/2018 13:24

I do get fed up with the accusations of drip feeding we get on AIBU, it's impossible to include everything in the OP. All this accusation leads to is ridiculously long posts with OPs using the phrase 'so as no to drip feed'.

rainingcatsanddog · 03/09/2018 13:27

I'd expect her to buy her own food, some housework and tidy up after herself

formerbabe · 03/09/2018 13:29

Nowadays it seems that people in their early twenties are basically just teenagers and live as such. Nice gig huh?! Finish uni, live at home rent free, don't work and go on holiday a lot...I wouldn't stand for that. She is an adult and should be contributing in some form.

5foot5 · 03/09/2018 13:32

I have a 22 year old who lives at home and pays rent BUT she works full time now. Until she found a "proper" full time job we did not charge her anything.

In your shoes I would not charge her while she is at home between trips although I would hope she would at least help around the house when she has nothing else to do.

stevie69 · 03/09/2018 13:38

No, I'd let her have this time before the shit world we've bequeathed her generation smacks her in the face.

It's a predominantly great world if you have a proper look Blush

ZigZagZebras · 03/09/2018 13:40

I would if I needed the money that it will cost you in electricity/food.
If I could comfortably afford to pay that myself I wouldn't, unless she has a habit of being irresponsible with money in which case I would charge her and then give her the money back at the end towards when she moves elsewhere to help with the deposit/rent.

formerbabe · 03/09/2018 13:41

I think it's pathetic how parents nowadays baby their grown up children...fgs, these are adults. I know lots of my peer group who rely heavily on their parents for the most basic of things... grow up!

ZigZagZebras · 03/09/2018 13:42

With the additional information she sounds very mature, no I wouldn't charge her rent.

ilovesooty · 03/09/2018 13:43

It's not an entitlement to spend time travelling around or take gap years/months if someone else is subsidising you. What kind of job is she expecting to get with such a limited CV?
Does she realise that she's also falling behind on making NI payments and paying into a pension?

ZigZagZebras · 03/09/2018 13:45

@Formerbabe its not babying to let her stay without paying rent. I would do the same for any family member, be it siblings, parents or children if they were staying for a bit and I was able to financially, and assume most others saying they would help their children out would also help other family members.

Just because someone has different priorities for their money to you doesn't mean they are 'babying' the person.

RomanyRoots · 03/09/2018 13:47

If mine have money and are earning they pay board.
at 24 I'd expect them to have saved substantially for a deposit or able to afford to rent. I'd feel like I'd failed otherwise.

Toughtips · 03/09/2018 13:49

Depends if she's working tbh. I always paid rent. I moved out at 20.

You can always just transfer what she pays you into a savings pot for her to give it her back when the time feels right.

londonrach · 03/09/2018 13:50

Shes an adult not a child. Now the rent thing. Is she earning, do you need the money. I charge an adult whos earning be it even £50. Re travelling. If not earning just travelling id not charge. However if you need the money you need to charge.

formerbabe · 03/09/2018 13:54

@ZigZagZebras

Surely it depends what their doing whilst they're not contributing? Are they looking for work? Are they volunteering to increase their skill set? Are they studying? If they are doing something productive then fine. Mooching round the house and going on holidays is not something I'd be happy for a grown adult to do whilst expecting me to put a roof over their head and food on the table regardless of my relationship to them.

Aeroflotgirl · 03/09/2018 14:00

Well then op with that extra information, I would just get her to contribute towards food, and a bit towards electricity. Give it a time frame with the travelling, like you said a year, then you expect her to get a full time job if she is living with you and to contribute.

Witchofwisteria · 03/09/2018 14:03

Maybe you should charge her £200pcm and put it in an account for her like savings. One day shes going to come out of the travelling and good times bubble and need a deposit for renting or even a car to run to her job. I am sure she will appreciate the money was saved for her then.

formerbabe · 03/09/2018 14:05

I don't understand if she's going travelling or just having a couple of holidays? If it's the latter, why not just get a job and book a week off work at some point to go away? Confused

RedAndGreenSeen · 03/09/2018 14:19

I think you should charge her something.

Its just a reminder that there's no "free lunch", we all have to do and contribute our bit. It doesn't have to be much if you don't "need" it, but I think it should be something.

Original poster
whyut · 03/09/2018 14:22

She's travelling, but it's not travelling in the sense of hopping from one country to the next.

OP posts:
Itsnotabingthingisit · 03/09/2018 14:26

Depends on the ' child' really.

If they have fallen on hard times, or have moved back because they broke but trying to get a job, then no I wouldn't.

If they are taking the piss , spending money like water, and going on holidays that you can't, then I would be having a discussion about not having her leaving you out of pocket.

There's no right or wrong here, no hard or fast rule. All depends on the individual circumstance.

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 03/09/2018 14:30

I think I'd sit in the middle , I wouldn't charge her rent but neither would I pay for anything but the basics for her like food.

I'd also put a time limit (that might be in two years or whatever just not open)

I would basically ask her to pay for her stuff outside of a normal weekly shop that I would be doing anyway and the rent and utilities...so her clothes going out etc she would need to fund

ilovesooty · 03/09/2018 14:33

Well whatever 'travelling' she's doing if you don't get a contribution to cover her expenses you are subsidising it. At 24 I'd be thinking she's too old to be drifting around without knuckling down to work but that's up to you of course.

Joinourclub · 03/09/2018 14:53

No I wouldn’t charge rent if I didn’t need to. As long as she is being a good housemate when she is st home- cooking meals, clearing up, being good company - then I would let her have this time to enjoy some travels. If she was working full time and living at home full time then I would charge some rent though.

WhyIsntGeorgeCalledPeterOrPaul · 03/09/2018 15:10

Nowadays it seems that people in their early twenties are basically just teenagers and live as such. Nice gig huh?! Finish uni, live at home rent free, don't work and go on holiday a lot...

Most do work though. How else would they pay for those holidays? But you're right, it is a "nice gig" I suppose. And why wouldn't I want to give my children some time to enjoy themselves while they're young and see the world a bit? I don't need their money.

MrsChollySawcutt · 03/09/2018 15:19

If you can afford it, I can't see the harm in letting her relax a bit. She has worked hard and will be working for decades to come. If she can't kick back and enjoy life a bit now, when can she?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread