Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you charge 24 year old child rent?

166 replies

whyut · 03/09/2018 00:05

Hello,

My daughter has just finished her degree. She has moved back home. She is now going travelling, but not proper travelling. Random cheap holidays away, etc.

She has money saved for this.

She may be at home for a few weeks at a time not doing much until the next trip.

Would you charge her for the time she is at home?

Thanks

OP posts:
Adversecamber22 · 03/09/2018 02:26

I may very well end up like yourself in that I don't need the money at all from rent from DS if for any reason he lived with us as an adult.

But I would charge him because for me teaching a child how to budget and be financially independent is one of the greatest lessons you can teach them. I have met too many adults who cannot budget at all.

WhyIsntGeorgeCalledPeterOrPaul · 03/09/2018 02:31

you will get a load of people come along here who will say, 'charge her 50 per cent of her earnings' then more will come along and say 'oh no I could never charge my child rent'.

Basically this. There is no rule, and everyone has their own opinion.

If you're short of money, she should be offering to help out with bills anyway. If she's not, have a bloody word.

If you're not short of money, then I don't really see the need. My parents never charged me or my siblings rent and neither did my OH's parents, and we would never charge ours rent either. We don't need the money, we don't see any value in it as a life-lesson-teaching-tool like some people do, and they buy most of their own food when they're here anyway.

WhyIsntGeorgeCalledPeterOrPaul · 03/09/2018 02:35

I don't need the money really. Just wondered if morally I should/should not charge her and what people thought

Plenty of people think it teaches them how to budget. That's quiet a common British attitude, it seems. I grew up in a place where nobody would ever dream of charging their children rent, and most people live at home until they get married in their late 20s or early 30s. Yet when they move out, they are just fine with budgeting and managing their money! Usually they have saved up a huge deposit for their new home with their new husband/wife, which also helps.

(again I stress that having them help with bills if parents are short of money is not the same thing as charging rent, and in my culture most children would do that without being asked if their parents weren't well off!)

Anyway, just offering another perspective.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking · 03/09/2018 02:37

For me it would depend on how long she was planning to spend kicking back and travelling, and how helpful and pleasant she was to have around the house.

If she contributes generously to the household, is respectful and nice to have around, and has a pretty clear plan for when the relaxing and travelling will be over, I don't think I would be charging her.

If she seems to have no plans to get a job and is just cruising along and taking advantage, and moreso if she has to be cajoled to help out or treats the place like a hotel and you like sub-standard staff, then I would be expecting a financial contribution.

BiscuitsAreLife · 03/09/2018 02:43

My husbands parents charged him rent when he was living with them and working. They didn’t need the money and instead stashed it away and gave it back to him as a lump sum to help when he was buying his first home.

Havabiscuit · 03/09/2018 02:49

Was just going to suggest this biscuits are life

TanteRose · 03/09/2018 03:10

why all the ridiculousness about the use of the word "child"? Confused

I am my parent's child and I'm 50!

anyhoo, no I wouldn't charge rent - I don't charge my 19 year old, 6 foot CHILD (Wink) who lives at home and is not working full time. He is building a website for his business so not doing nothing.

He does however, do all our washing (3 adults at home, my other child (nearly 21) is studying overseas), he contributes to groceries, and cooks dinner a couple of times a week.

Thistles24 · 03/09/2018 04:18

My parents charged me “rent” of £120 per month when I had a full time job. Unknown to me, they saved it all for me so when I decided to move out I had an unexpected nest egg. If I can afford to do the same for my DC then I will- I still learned budgeting and had some savings myself, but that extra (£5000) was a such huge help to me setting up my first home.

AjasLipstick · 03/09/2018 04:31

Tante because some people come on here just to nit-pick and have a swipe at other people.

That's what I think anyway!

ajandjjmum · 03/09/2018 04:38

People are picking on the phrase - if you'd have said 'my 24 year old daughter' it would have saved that - nothing worth worrying about though whyut!

Personally, I wouldn't charge for a few months if she's not earning, although beyond that I probably would - even if I saved it and gave it her back at some future point, towards a deposit etc.

Purpleartichoke · 03/09/2018 04:52

I would support a kid through university, but after that they have to pay their own way. If they are working and saving for a place of their own, I would let them live at home for a token rent. Not working and saving, then they need to find their own place because I am not subsidizing being irresponsible.

MakeItStopNeville · 03/09/2018 05:11

Too right I’d charge her rent! I wouldn’t want my 24 year old living at home in the first place, so if they are, they need to know they’re still living in the real world.

DameJulie · 03/09/2018 05:14

I'm just curious; is she intending to get a job at some point? What travelling is she doing if it's not "proper travelling"?

frenchfancy · 03/09/2018 05:36

I would charge something. I could afford to support her but only by going out to work and I think there is a lack of respect if one adult stays at home and goes on lots of holidays while another has to work to pay the bills. I would accept housekeeping duties in lieu of money.

JumblieGirl · 03/09/2018 05:37

Mine pay a share of household expenses, depending on income. Or they pay in kind. Do what works for you.

TheWanderlust · 03/09/2018 06:22

I lived at home for 4 years whilst working (18-22) and my mum charged me the difference in council tax (£50 per week) as I was classed as an adult ... had I not lived with her she would have received the single person supplement.

I was more than happy to pay this as I was able to save for a deposit and it helped to cover extra bits around the house. I was expected to pay my rent whether I was on holiday or not (did some travelling for up to 3 weeks at a time over the 4 years)

ivykaty44 · 03/09/2018 06:26

What do you want to do?

flowery · 03/09/2018 06:33

I think it probably partly depends on how long this going-on-lots-of-holidays stage is planned to last.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 03/09/2018 06:35

No I wouldn't.

Seniorschoolmum · 03/09/2018 06:37

No but I’d expect her to pay her own council tax and a contribution for food, electricity and laundry.

If I could afford it, I wouldn’t tell her but I’d put the money away until she needed something like deposit money for a flat.

SpiritedLondon · 03/09/2018 06:39

I think any adult living in the home should make a contribution of some sort. Whether it’s financial or not depends on whether she’s working - it doesn’t have to be a large amount. If she’s not working in between her holidays ( she’s not “ travelling” is she she’s just going on holiday) then she needs to make a contribution in other ways .... cooking meals, washing etc. I would also want to know that there was an end to this period rather than having months of her coming and going.

MeyMary · 03/09/2018 06:40

My husbands parents charged him rent when he was living with them and working. They didn’t need the money and instead stashed it away and gave it back to him as a lump sum to help when he was buying his first home.

I really like this idea.

But I think that charging housekeeping money would be perfectly fine as well.

A 24 yo with a degree, able bodied and minded (=perfectly capable of earning money) should have some responsibilities imo.

Not expecting any kind of financial contribution seems a bit infantilising to me personally...

I would feel differently if she was getting a second degree, doing a demanding internship, working but spending a lot of her money on language classes etc... but this doesn't seem to be the case.

Eliza9917 · 03/09/2018 07:21

Would you charge her for the time she is at home?

Yes. Teaching the cost of living etc. She's no longer a student and is choosing not to work properly.

If you don't need the money, put it on an account for her.

Mayra1367 · 03/09/2018 07:27

I think after 3/4 years at university I would be pushing for her to find a job . But in your situation as she doesn’t have a job but still has money for holidays I would make certain tasks around the house her sole responsibility such as the garden and when at home I would expect her to pull her weight with housekeeping. 24 is not a child , time to enter the adult world.

Ansumpasty · 03/09/2018 07:28

No, I wouldn’t. I had to give mine 1/4 of my salary from age 16 and my siblings didn’t. Still pisses me off to this day.

I don’t believe they stop being your children just because they are no longer children.

Of course, there are exceptions to this, like if you actually can’t afford for them to stay otherwise

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.