Would you charge 24 year old child rent?

[whyut]

Hello,

My daughter has just finished her degree. She has moved back home. She is now going travelling, but not proper travelling. Random cheap holidays away, etc.

She has money saved for this.

She may be at home for a few weeks at a time not doing much until the next trip.

Would you charge her for the time she is at home?

Thanks

She is a fully-grown adult and should be making a contribution. Don't create another entitled millennial.

Hmm. I think I’d ask for a contribution of maybe £100 a month that she’s there as she’ll be using water, electricity, gas etc. unless you can see she’s still actively saving?

I would make sure you have your expectations put in place for when she’s stopped holidaying - that she contributes X amount until she’s in full time work and then you’ll reassess.

It is your duty as a parent, however much you love your adult kids, to make them take responsibility. How is she going to know how to live and survive when mummy takes care of her. We constantly make fun of menchildren whose parents have done the same on here, then go into relationships and become cocklodgers. Same here.

Do you have other children?

If yes, I feel like you absolutely need to find a solution that would be sustainable for everyone/if one or all of them were to move back home as well.

You can't charge one but not the other. That would create a lot of resentment imo.

If she does make a financial contribution and you ultimately realise that you worried for nothing... Well, you could simply pay the money back as a lump sum when she wants to buy a house, has a child etc.

No, I wouldn't charge her rent unless my financial situation meant that I had to to make ends meet.

I would be supporting and encouraging her to develop her career plans though.

Of course not. Children are for life.

Why isn’t she working though? I would expect her to pay for her own food and toiletries etc and make a contribution to water and electric bills and do 50% of housework. If she can afford to travel she can afford to pay rent. If she hasn’t got a job, she should have. Nothing in life is for free and you are not doing her any favours by giving out a free ride.
Once she is back from holiday I would say she can stay with you but the expectation is that she pays rent and works. You don’t have to charge her the going rate. £30 a week and the expectation she buys her own food or contributes to the food shop if you share meals etc seems reasonable. Remind her that by having her stay you lose your single person council tax reduction and that then water bill doubles etc

I don’t agree with charging rent and then saving it. That isn’t going to teach good money management

I think there are going to be a lot of disappointed children who have been handing over rent to parents thinking they are secretly saving it for the day they move out!

I don’t think you should charge rent, but it is reasonable to expect that she is ‘working full time’ at finding a job/going to interviews/visiting careers service or increasing employability during this period (placements/volunteering).

However... my parents were very clear that we couldn’t expect long stays at home during university holidays or after uni and should be independent with university fees/living costs. Two of us have turned out really independent and have ended up living abroad (2 hr and 24 hr flights away), with necessity of a job that allows paying back university fees and saving to buy a home as key in the decision to move abroad. We also have the grandchildren in the family, and I know my mother sometimes wishes we lived closer.

She is not a child, but an adult. Op is enabling her dd not to take responsibility, bumming around going on holidays indefinitely, and not getting a job. Bad parenting! She is going to be facing a hard knock in the real world.

I don’t agree with charging rent and then saving it. That isn’t going to teach good money management

That's true enough, but it's so hard to get onto the property ladder for young people these days without a helping hand.

I would not be charging rent, but I would expect her to be contributing for food, loo roll, toiletries, etc.

I would also be having a chat with her about how long this interim situation will last. (Maybe you know this, but it is not mentioned in your posts.) I would not want to support this kind of thing indefinitely. If it is for a few months, I wouldn't mind. Longer than that would not be ok. Eventually, I would want her to become a fully-functioning independent adult.

Yes. My dad made us contribute from 18 years old

I used to pay my mum £150 in rent. And buy my own groceries, do all my own laundry, cooking and did housework. From 16 the latter, from 18 I paid keep.

i'd not charge her rent like you would charge a lodger but I would make her contribute in some way to the household. By buying food or cooking or making a token contribution towards bills or doing some cleaning.

I agree with this.

Also can everyone stop saying '24 isn't a child!!' It's obvious what the OP meant 🙄 As the OP and PP have said, her daughter is her child, she's not saying that 24 isn't an adult. Some people will look for anything petty to latch onto to make a point

I don’t agree with charging rent and then saving it. That isn’t going to teach good money management

Surely as long as they don’t know you are saving it it makes no difference?

DS is a long way off being an adult but I think as long as we didn’t need him to contribute, I’d take a small contribution and save it without him knowing. Then I’d tell him that he was living cheaply on the basis that he saved for his future AND remained aware that he had to live by house rules and if he didn’t like it then he was welcome to live elsewhere, pay for it, and live by whichever rules he liked.

FWIW after uni I had to pay £100 a month once I had my first ‘proper’ job. I did summer and Xmas part time temping in shops etc but only had to pay once I had a full time job.

Had to help cook, clean, do my own laundry from a teenager and had a part time/Saturday job from the day after my last GCSE exam until I left uni and found my ‘proper’ job the following April.

We never got anything back from parents when we moved out but I think what they did was a good balance of supporting us through education, finding the best employment we could. Teaching us we had to contribute to the household in both monetary and chores. Also allowing us the opportunity to save.

All 3 of us stayed at home until mid-late twenties and saved to buy our own homes. I think we are very fortunate and amongst my peer group (7 couples) are only one of two that have been able to do so through living at home.

I’d rather help out my child at any age with a view to the most favourable outcome (financial stability) if I am able to do so, than strive to teach them the word is shit and bloody expensive and if they start out renting at a young age then they will most likely be playing catch up for the rest of their lives.

Yes this is just a temporary thing. She hasn't been on any holidays on her own yet, so she wanted to do some travelling now. She plans on getting a job after.

I think people have misunderstood. She has full intentions of getting a job after travelling. She isn't just "not being bothered to get a full time job". It took a lot of hard work for her to get to uni (chemical engineering) and she has every intention on using it for work. She's just spending time travelling now than say taking a gap year.

She can afford these through her working from 16-20. She worked part time and saved a lot. She planned on using it at uni but her loan seemed to cover what she needed.

She has never slacked off of been one to rely on me so not weird people are saying don't make her entitled. She spent 3 years on a levels, spent a year sitting another one so she could do the degree she wanted, then did a 4 year degree. I'm very proud of how hard she has worked.

Yes I would charge them rent, but I would save the money, then give it back to them when they move out to help with a deposit

Having just read your 3 updates, no I wouldn't charge my child rent in those circumstances. I would be encouraging her to do more than take some holidays though, I'd be looking at proper travelling!

She sounds great, and not at all an "entitled millenial"

Bit of a drip feed their OP. Now you’ve fully explained the circumstances then no I wouldn’t.

my parents were very clear that we couldn’t expect long stays at home during university holidays

Blimey, not even during the uni holidays? That's quite mean.

I would charge some rent. They will be using water/gas/electricity/wifi while at home so they should contribute to those costs.
If she is being included in the weekly shop while she is there, definitely charge her for that.
You could consider charging her a nominal amount to store her stuff while she goes off on her travels.

I do think that you should charge her though.

Sorry I didn't realise it was a drip feed? I did explain the basics in my original post.