AIBU to be annoyed at my DDs dance performance?

[PrincessWatermelon]

I genuinely don't know if I'm being precious about this.

My 2 DDs (3 and 6) do a dance class on a Sat morning. The lady who runs it is v enthusiastic and runs a number of other classes through the week. Today they had a performance at the local music hall. It was a big deal and everyone was excited. It was the first time a show had been put on.

I knew they were only going to be in one part of it, as they only did one class. And I didn't mind the cost of over £100 once costumes and tickets had been bought.

However, rehearsal was from 9am this morning and the show at 2pm. They came on stage at 4:30 for maximum of 15 mins and the show finished after 6pm. So it was 4 hours long and they'd been there for 5 hours before that.

My AIBU is that they were required to be backstage (downstairs) the whole time except when they were physically on stage. They were in groups in small rooms. They weren't allowed out of the rooms and even had their packed lunch in there. So from 9am-6pm with presumably 15mins of dance in the morning and 15mins of dance in the afternoon. My DD6 especially was upset and a bit distressed by how bored and cooped up she was. They weren't told to bring books or colouring or anything.

Is this normal and AIBU?

a 4 hour dance show that is way over the top

Normal I would say is a couple of hours pre rehearsal and maybe a 1 to 1.5 hour show

It sounds as if it breaches Performance Licence regulations, especially at such a young age, but those do not always apply to dance shows. They are limited in rehearsal and performance hours and are required to take breaks away from the venue. Were there licensed chaperones in each dressing room?

That's an absolutely ridiculous amount of time and £100 is a ludicrous amount of money unless you bought a lot of tickets. I would complain. A 3 year old for that long?

I have no idea if it is normal but it sounds pretty grim to me. A four hour performance! Really? How can they possibly imagine even the most doting of parents wants to sit through that?

YANBU, that is a long time.

My dd has done annual shows for the past 4 years. DressRehearsals are on Thursdays from 4.30 to 8.30ish. Fridays to be there from 4.30/4.45, performance at 7, all kids gone by 10. Saturday’s there for 12.00 matinee at 2.00. Then Meal break for an hour at about 4.30 where the kids can either go to the local McDonald’s/kfc alone if old enough, parents can take them out for this time or the kids can bring a packed lunch and watch a movie. Back for 5.30 ready for 7.30 performance and all kids gone by 10.30. There are 80 kids aged 5+.

Friends of ours do this sort of thing and have told similar stories. I have no idea how it can be enjoyable for the kids.

I pay £60 for my dd to participate, not including the price of tickets to watch, so £100 for 2 kids sounds about right.

There are

There were chaperones, yes. I don't know if there was one in every room.

During the interval (at 3:50 - 4:15) I actually went backstage as I was anxious for them. They hadn't been allowed out at the interval. I saw my eldest (who was so glad to see me and didn't want me to go) and then a chaperone told me off for going down there.

I don't know that anyone anticipated it going on so long, although it could've been predicted as presumably the number of dances was known.

That sounds crazy!

It sounds badly organised and not thought through; could you politely make some suggestions for next year? I’m guessing because it’s the first year they just hadn’t thought about how it would all work

My dd’s dance school is well established and has been doing shows for many years.

It does sound badly organised and maybe had some teething problems that hopefully won’t occur next year. Generally I’ve found that kids love the whole experience if well organised

2 tickets (£15 each) and then the costumes (including new white trainers)

Yes, brings back memories. The youngest used to be allowed to leave at the interval.

This is the exact reason my girls don’t do dancing. Four hour dance show. Fuck that for a laugh.

That is a ludicrously long show - how can that be enjoyable for performers or audience? It sounds like they need to think about how they manage the shows - dd has been in several dance shows with different dance schools and they're always a big commitment but nothing like that. Her show this summer had 150+ dancers from 3 upwards and lasted 2 hours. They all danced at least once - there were three performances and kids had to stay backstage throughout but it was all very well managed. It doesn't have to be such a marathon!! The teacher will end up turning kids (and parents off!!)

Yes, I think it was badly organised and I hope it wouldn't be the same next year. I'm not sure my eldest would want to do it again. She is pretty shaken by being stuck in this room for so long tbh. She even said, bless her, that there were only 3 hiding places in the room, so playing hide and seek was no fun!

My youngest was in a different room and seemed to have managed better - they had some colouring for the younger ones and they had a tv of the show going on.

Oh, and dd's costumes have always been provided. We may be asked to buy new ballet shoes and hair nets etc sometimes but nothing more.

If my three year old was being held in a room away from me for that long and I didn’t know what she was up to or if she was ok or being adequately supervised I think I’d get quite panicky.

Yes, I admit that we were really flagging by the 4 hour mark. The numbers in the audience had visibly dropped!

Sounds about right. When DC was younger her dance school shows were similar length. It's so that everyone gets their moment (or two) of glory on stage.

TBH I was glad when she outgrew it all.

Panicky is right - that's why I barged in at 4pm. I'd dropped them off at 9am and wanted to check on them!!!

I would be happy to suffer another 4 hour show if I knew they were ok and happy. But they weren't.

It sounds like DD's tbh.
The main question is did they enjoy it?

I'm trying to remember times but I think we dropped DD at 1000 and the dance show was at 1430-1730. They were assigned a room with a couple of parent helpers. We were asked not to send entertainment- can you imagine having to sort out 15 sets of colouring pencils!! The teacher took some books, a huge roll of paper etc. They played games. But by the time they're changed into costume, toileted, dress rehearsal, changed, lunch, toilet, change back, performance... well that takes time too.

YWBU to go backstage though. What would have happened if everyone went?
YABTotallyU to expect them to be "let out" at the interval. How on earth could the teachers and chaperones keep track of them if they were milling with the crowd?

I don't blame you for going to find your 3yo after that long! The little ones all danced in the first half of dd's show and were free to leave at interval or stay on for finale - it was up to parents.

Why though? Is it that the parents want their kids to be pro dancers? What on Earth is the attraction in this?!

I work with a guy who’s two daughters do ballet and he’s always moaning about entire days spent at shows. Why?! Neither of these girls is going to be a pro ballerina!!