If you have boy/s then a daughter...

[beclev24]

Is having a daughter a much ‘better’ more fulfilling/easier experience?? I don’t mean do you love them more- I’m assuming you don’t. Just is the actual experience of raising a daughter really that much better than a son?

I have seen so many gender disappointment threads on here and have felt it myself from time to time (I have 3DS’s). I adore my sons completely but all I hear on here and in RL is about women wanting daughters/how much easier/more fun girls are and how much closer the relationship with a daughter is than with a son. It makes me feel that I must be really missing out.

Please be honest- if you have both, especially if you had a girl after one or more boys, is it everything you hoped for/so very different?

I've got one of each. DS is and always was by far the easier child. I dread dd's teenage years.

I’ve got 2DS, followed by a DD.

My DD was much harder work as a baby than the DSs. Even though it should have been easier as I knew what I was doing by then.

As a small child I’d say there was nothing in it really, each has there own personality.

However, we are now in the teenage years, and so far DD is much harder work than the DSs. Much more dramatic, she seems to be riding a hormonal rollercoaster that my DSs never experiened.

I also have two DSes and a DD. The boys are so much easier, even the grumpy teenager. DD is full on constantly, she never stops talking and is already very moody at 7.

I absolutely love her with all of my heart, but I swear a third boy would have been much easier.

I don't doubt that some Mother's find it more difficult to raise a daughter, that doesn't mean the child herself is more difficult.

Why doesn't it?

However, we are now in the teenage years, and so far DD is much harder work than the DSs. Much more dramatic, she seems to be riding a hormonal rollercoaster that my DSs never experiened.

Yep. My 11 year old is extremely hormonal. The friendship issues she has were non-existent with my boys. The boys grunted when the hormones kicked in and at times of course there were mood swings, but it is nothing compared to how my daughter is struggling with hers.

I don't think you can really draw comparisons, until your children are adults!

I had a boy, then a girl. Only 19 months gap between them.
They are now aged 21 and almost 20.

Toddler years were much the same. But as time progresses - through school etc - girls are far more emotional. There's not much drama with boys. Girls are always falling out, and changing friendship circles. Cue much upset, and needing to talk things through, for hours on end (with Mum). Teenage years much the same. But that's women, isn't it? We are far more emotional and more likely to dwell on things and pick things apart. Man are, ahem simpler.

Now adults, they are both emotionally settled, but Son has a long term serious GF, and whilst we text almost daily, he's always too busy to come home (he's at Uni). Daughter, on the other hand, is farther away (at a diff Uni) but we see her more often. She needs that connection with me and home. We do things together, ranging from watching the same trash TV, gossiping, clothes shopping, doing each others hair etc, and she's my best friend.

"A Son is a Son until he finds a Wife, a Daughter is a Daughter for all of your Life"

I love my children both the same, but I do tend to agree with this old saying ^^

I have a boy then girl. Have a different relationship with each. He’s very sensitive and she’s very laid back. I definitely wouldn’t describe it as more fulfilling or better with her! Definitely not easier, she’s relentless with things, a really determined character.

We go and get our nails done together and things like that but I also enjoy going to concerts etc. with my son.

I promise you’re not missing out 😘

I have boy, girl, boy and they've all been different as babies, DS1 was a screamer, very fussy and didn't sleep well until he got to 4 years old 😞

I was anxious about having a DD because I'm not particularly feminine and didn't relate well to my own mother but it hadn't affected us in any way, she was a dream of a baby though, slept through at 3 weeks, rarely cried, very affectionate and does have a naturally sunny nature.

DS2 was a wild card and has proven to live up to that expectation right from the start, he has more in common with my DD personality wise so I can't say having a DD has fulfilled me in some way other than it's nice to have at least one of each as I imagine it may have more meaning as she gets older, or maybe not 😂🤷‍♀️

s having a daughter a much ‘better’ more fulfilling/easier experience??

What an odd question. Children are all individuals, there is no such thing as girls are this and boys are that. It's pretty insulting to imagine you can lump them all together like that.

you don't parent by sex discrimination.

I have a ds then a dd. In terms of early years she was harder: she's opinionated, self-willed, and won't do anything just because someone tells her to. If you give her a reason she'll consider it ... Neither of us are into girly stuff really, so no bonding-over-the-nail-varnish here - more 'don't pull my hair, I'll do it'. She was more independent so I probably had to do less basic caring, but the tantrums made up for it. As they've grown up (they are teens now) they've taken in it turns to be the easy one: currently, I'd say there's a different 'layer' with dd as a I recognise her issues/struggles much more personally (learning to navigate periods, hair removal, the tension of wanting and not-wanting attention from buys) - but I also clash with her more, due to her personality. I would also say - as an adult - I'm closer to, and have an easier relationship with my dad, even though I see my mum more often. Dh has a closer relationship with his mum than I do with mine. So don't feel you are automatically missing anything - just enjoy your boys!

I had 2 boys followed by 2 girls it's not just a case of the sexes are different every child is different in their own ways. My eldest boy was an easy baby and happy toddler, 2 nd boy harder baby pita toddler, both are very good teenagers now. 1st daughter was an easy baby delightful as a toddler and is now becoming a bit is a diva at nearly 5. My 2nd daughter is and has always been a law unto herself! She is very hard work and I do struggle on a daily basis with her temper and behaviour. Over all I would say my boys are easier but I do love them all not in different ways but because they all have own personalities we show our love in different ways.

Have 2 DSs (11,9) and a DD (4). I actually wanted another DS when I was pregnant, but DD has made a wonderful difference to our family - especially to her brothers. She brings out their caring side in a way another brother never would have. She’s way more manipulative than the boys ever were and we’ve a job on our hands not to raise a precious princess who gets everything that she wants, but she’s brought great fun and joy to our home.

how much closer the relationship with a daughter is than with a son. It makes me feel that I must be really missing out.

This is nonsense. My brother has a much closer relationship to our mother than I do. It depends entirely on the individuals in question.

In my experience so far (DD is only 5), daughters are not easier, and I really can’t imagine that changing in the teenage years, although perhaps in adulthood. My 2 boys can squabble but they were definitely more straightforward and easier to please than my daughter in their early years! Having said that, she’s adorable, hilarious and I’m very happy to have her!

Really interesting replies thank you. I know it’s an odd question as pp said. It’s just something I hear about so much on here and in RL (women desperate for daughters) that I wondered what the actual reality was like. Seems to be quite a mix on here. Our boys are still young and are pretty hard work (though wonderful) but maybe their teenage years will be different.

Maybe we all just want to have a different experience? I have two boys and two girls so there’s a lot of variations here beyond sex and gender.

Umm, and the teenage years... it’s not too dissimilar to the toddler years. But with more worry and door slamming 😄