AIBU to get irritated by people trying to derail lighthearted threads

[MVLipwig]

It just seems unnecessary when they are just upsetting theirselves and spoiling it for other people.
I’m talking
“What’s your favourite treat food from the shops”
“Nothing. I live in a wooden crab infested shack and only eat mouldy dog food and sprouts”
Or
“What funny/silly nonsense did your family do with you as a child”
“Well they string me up and beat me with birches, I don’t know if that counts”
I understand hard lives, and it’s not been a picnic personally but I (and I assume others) read cheerful threads as nice escapism and happy memories and these posters are upsetting their selves and others

Hahaha I saw the school snacks thread. I love it when they get competitive. Especially if anyone dares to offer snacks round. Smug Mummy does not know the provenance of the distinctly home-made looking article precious moppet is eating. It may not have been lovingly made in a kitchen confirming to industry Hygiene Standards. The maker may, shock horror, harbour poo crumbs about their laundry!!!

The outrage at eating others homemade food always makes me laugh. Do they honestly believe that used toilet paper is the main ingredient in that lovely looking bake sale cupcake? You get the occasional one who buys the cake, and then bins it to avoid food poisoning! Why not just donate money?

I only give my dc nuts or seeds from a sterilised and hermetically sealed bag.

I find it highly offensive you would suggest even eating a cupcake. Let alone one made by another person.

Outraged and disgusted. Your poor children.

That’s another horrendous MN faux pas of mine. I don’t have children
Almost like I value the conversation and wit on here!

Here's my theory.

Most people have heard of "the Inner Critic?".

I think some posters have a very strong one, almost uncontainable e.g. about the need to shower 25 times a day. So, they come on here and project their intense Inner Critic on to others, instead. Brilliant thought of mine huh?

However, I do dislike Halloween with a mini passion!

MV I think I prefer my men a little - gentler.

The whole Homemade Horror is an odd thing isn't it. It's also on the other end of the belief spectrum to the How Things Are for Me belief.

Simply can't grasp that life or the way of doing things, may just be different to others. But think the only person in the world that has any form of food hygiene is them.

Homemade Horror is made all the more confusing is the homemade emphasis on what's for dinner threads.

Tonight I'm having hand made pasta, with homemade tomato sauce and home grown mushrooms, sliced with chilli from my wonderful hot house. The tomatoes are delicious; my hubby grows the juiciest most marvellous tomatoes in his glass house he built.

For dessert we are having my yummy fruit scones and home churned butter. I made the scones for the school bake sale, but cheekily held some back for ourselves. (The fruit from our trees is just so delish!!). I bought a lemon drizzle tray bake there, you have to buy something don't you. But as you'll understand, it went straight in the bin. Couldn't possible eat the homemade cakes. We might all die

MVLipwig: That’s another horrendous MN faux pas of mine. I don’t have children shock.
Are you a man? Being a man is worse.

I don't have children either. But do you know the provenance of those nuts, Lipwig? If you didn't actually GROW them and harvest them yourself, you're no better than people who give their DC fruit shoots!!

I don't get the frenzy over home made food, either. Unless they know someone skanky made it or they relate previous bad experience (with trigger warnings for MNs many emetophobes), they look well precious .... it's obviously chocolate sprinkles on that slice of cake but in their mind, it could be poo crumbs! What if the tea towel used to wipe all the utensils involved in the cake once met a sex towel in the airing cupboard!!

I obviously don't come here for the many many threads that have nothing to do with being a mum. Like the many deliciously judgy laundry threads. Should I get my ducks in a row and LTB ? (Leave the Board).

You can have some of my children if you like?

I weaved them from lentils, so they are fully organic.

@StripeySocksandDocs - yes. It seems to escape their notice that their food is also by definition a home made horror. They'd be livid if someone thought that about their creations!

AIBU - At our cake sale, I bought a cupcake made by Lucy's-mum-Angela who was a stand by for bake off last season and looks hygienic. It was fresh out of a tin and so well decorated, but obviously I wouldn't let little Amortentia eat it because GERMs. I simply can't guarantee that she uses bleach on the hr like me. Anyway, I saw Destiny-Raes mum buy one of my perfect fairy cakes with home made everything and eggs from our hens. And the CF binned it because she didn't know where it came from!!! How DARE she! She owns and uses a loo brush!! I BLEED zoflora! Should I log it with the police or tell the teacher?

Women without children, men. They pale into insignificance compared to women like me.

I'm a woman of a certain age. We are the devil's spawn. Apparently we go around talking to small children we've not been introduced to.

Sometimes we smile at small children, which is almost as bad as talking to them.

And sometimes, although I've only heard of this on mn, old women touch babies hands or their faces and in one or two extreme cases stick their fingers into the baby's mouth.

Personally I've never touched a strange child, or spoken to one; might have smiled at the odd child from time to time, but in mn world old women are slobbering all over strangers babies and passing on their horrible old lady disgustingness left right and centre. Apparently.

Disclaimer: have to admit I haven't seen one of these threads for some time but they used to crop up with very regular monotony.

Wasn't nice being an old woman on those threads; lot of old lady hate.

Just read (well kinda read - the OP was more that three paragraphs so I skimmed) about a couple, she's pregnant and they have one car which it seems he has to have as priority because he's selfish it's essential he does*.

Very first reply "you need two cars".

two car household being something everyone can finance of course.

Ok so not a light hearted thread derailed, but an example of How Things Are for Me belief.

This reminded me of the first thread I ever responded to, last year. I was defending the OP's opinion with a light-hearted quote from my husband.

Over the next few hours I think he was called a c*nt by about 20 people!! I couldn't believe how badly my post had gone down!!

Well pigsDOfly if you insist on having to walk, drive, use public transport, go outside, stay home or have clothes on what do you expect?

You are female and old*. I stopped aging. Just like all the haters on the thread. They will never be old ladies don't you know.

*NB: Old can be defined any age. (Probably over 45 though.)

I’m a bit triggered by throwing away a lemon drizzle traybake

I also think it’s HILARIOUS that people think old ladies might contaminate their babies. Surely the babies (who may well be sitting in their own excrement) are the dangerous ones?

I’m the worst person on MN because I have no personal space and like kisses/hugs/touching bumps/people touching my bump/other people’s kids/old people. An old person gave my twins £1 each in their pram when they were little for luck.....AND I WAS PLEASED AND SAID THANK YOU AND TOOK A PHOTO and I didn’t worry about choking or germs. I’m a dangerous parent and a dangerous member of the human race!

Oooh yes, well over 45 in my case StripySocksAndDocs.

Well I'm officially a bad mother.

Dd had a happy meal at 4pm and I've eaten 4 strawberry pop tarts today.
I'm in no fit state to effectively parent with my blood sugar levels so high so am on strike dp is entertaining her and am wondering what is the earliest time I can go to bed without really taking the piss.

Disclaimer- been up since stupid o'clock, haven't stopped cleaning all day and need sleep.
The pop tarts are addictive though...

Quick shower in zoflora and that's me done.

PigsdoFly not only am I a woman of a certain age who smiles at small children but I am also a MIL

What’s your favourite treat food from the shops

Actually the correct answer to that thread is:

"TREATS! There is no such thing as "treat" at my house. that's why we have an obesity problem in this country. My children just eat ice cream morning lunch and dinner because to tell them to eat veg would give them an eating disorder don't you know.

Ginslinger, you should have warned us!!!

I haven't had a poptart in decades. I need one.

I’m a childless woman, who supports trans rights. That’s almost got me lynched a handful of times. I’m also pro smiling at children and I even lifted up and played with a woman’s toddler on the metro once!

PersisFord: I’m a bit triggered by throwing away a lemon drizzle traybake

You trying to accuse me of purposely saying lemon drizzle tray bake in my example?
I'd NEVER do that!!!!!!!!!! I am the world's most empathetic and kind person!!!!!!!!!!!!! How DARE you suggest I'm not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm amazing.

Yes, Ginslinger I'm a MIL too.

Thought I'd better keep that quiet though, didn't know how it might be received even on this friendly thread.

Didn't realised they still make poptarts. I'm not allowed them any more, not with my high blood pressure and heart related issues.

No poptarts, no smiling at small children. It's a sad old life.