AIBU to get irritated by people trying to derail lighthearted threads

[MVLipwig]

It just seems unnecessary when they are just upsetting theirselves and spoiling it for other people.
I’m talking
“What’s your favourite treat food from the shops”
“Nothing. I live in a wooden crab infested shack and only eat mouldy dog food and sprouts”
Or
“What funny/silly nonsense did your family do with you as a child”
“Well they string me up and beat me with birches, I don’t know if that counts”
I understand hard lives, and it’s not been a picnic personally but I (and I assume others) read cheerful threads as nice escapism and happy memories and these posters are upsetting their selves and others

I also think that sour cream is abusive

I'd like a warning when people are going to say 'trger warning'. My needs are paramount.

Yes a trigger warning warning
Makes totes sense
I too get triggered by trigger warnings

I've just made breakfast for 16 on the aga
Showered twice
Changed all the (1000 thread count) bed linen
Bleached the sex towel
Jogged 5k
Off to work in my meaningful job as a really important person.

you mean you haven't actually done any ironing?

Thanks for the Drizzle tips, Persis. I promised work my next bake for them would be a lemon drizzle. I work with the military & they love tea & cake!

Awaits:
flaming for contributing to obesity crisis,
judgement for choice of cake and how it is made,
dire warnings about availability of lemons after brexit,
accusations of single handedly being responsible for sustaining all warfare since Vietnam by feeding cake to defence personnel,
comments that I'm putting feminism back 2 million years by baking a cake that will be mostly eaten by men,
someone calling me triggering because they once nearly choked on a piece of drizzle cake,
comments that someone else is lucky if any of their colleagues even bring in a jar of sparrow farts for the office at Christmas.

And my personal favourite on any food threads- the Oh-my-god-how-can-they-eat-something-that-wasn't-made-in-their-own-kitchen brigade saying I've probably spread plague by breathing as I bake and they bet I only wash once a day.

And the "if you didn't grow your own lemons/mill your own flour, you didn't make it from scratch crew.c

Of course I've done the ironing, at 2am
I never sleep
I'm far too busy and important to indulge in that luxury

CAKE? CAKE? You make cake from lemons!? WTF?

Don't you know that cake is responsible for about 80% of the obesity crisis that is bringing our beloved NHS to its knees? And such a waste of lemons. Lemons provide all the electricity used in our home. They are a precious resource and you chose to waste them by performing feminity, reinforcing gender stereotypes that keep women out of the workplace and destroying the nation's health. I bet you know that, but you don't care, your type never do. #

Dione suitably chastened, I shall wash 8 times today, change knickers with each shower, and then soak myself in zoflora before bed. Resoaking on the hr at sheet change of course.

Oh no, now I'm panicking that I'm reinforcing gender stereotypes doing all that cleaning! I will remove myself from this stressful situation by donating all of my zoflora to the food bank, along with some non-scented, non applicator san pro. I've also gone NC with my cookery book, just in case I am tempted to look at it and thereby destroy the NHS with the obesity that I alone have unleashed.

Greebo I truly love your username and I'm slightly scared of you.

I think it should be a MN mission to collectively comment on every post that comes from a sanctamonious turd every time it happens. Which is a lot granted, so kiss goodbye to your kids and jobs. Maybe then the fun sponges would learn to wind their neck in.

On a less light note, it does put me off posting my own thread tbh and once one does it, they all bloody turn up. Must be some sort of sancti-klaxon that only they can hear.

I’m game
Just put ‘trigger’ at bottom of answer ?

I am a tiny bit worried that the half sugar is an acquired taste. Double lemon is definitely right but maybe make it with full sugar. Military people prob need the sugar

Sorry to derail. Got a bit triggered by worrying about undersugared soldiers defending our country against Trump and Brexit.

@PhilomenaButterfly, being slightly scared of someone who believes Greebo is her spirit animal is an entirely appropriate reaction.

Greebo and Philomena I’m not scared of Greebo any more after Lords and Ladies....

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops, the more I think about what you do with lemons, the more sickened I get. You don't just waste lemons, you abuse them and weaponise them.

Here, have my first ever
Cake FFS.

Greebo is pure terror himself. Except witches abroad man Greebo, I’d say hello to him

I used to have a lemon drizzle cake but it got eaten died.

Thanks for the trigger warning

Now I'll have to traipse back to therapy to talk about my PTSD from lack of citrus-related baked goods.

Why do you people have no HEART????

(I, of course, don't have a luxury item such as a heart. It was shared out equally among my ten brothers and sisters, and I was not allowed a piece."

@DioneTheDiabolist I'm sorry for abusing the lemons so . You've opened my eyes to the many wonders of lemon. Lemon: not just for cake & zoflora anymore.

@PersisFord- to be fair, we're not front line/anything special, but the military do appear to run on tea & sugar. adjusts recipe to ensure soldiers sufficiently sugared up to defend us from The Donald, do not need that on my lemon-abusing conscience.

I agree entirely!!

Food ones are the worst - so judgey on how much people eat or just unreasonable suggestions that the OP is accused of being ungrateful if they don’t adhere to.

Do you know how Jesus fed the 5,000?
With a Mumsnet roast chicken.

There's a brilliant judgy one atm about kids getting a snack after school. According to one poster, it's "uncouth."

I’m up for the ‘triggered’ commenting. Only those on this thread will understand it. Oh the fun we shall have at the expense of the fun sponges. Mwah haw haw.

There's a Maccj D's thread too

I mean my dc IS allowed a trip through the Golden Arches.... on a bi annual arrangement.

We order the happy meal and then dc goes to wash their hands. Whilst ablutions are being carried out, I replace the chicken nuggets with tofu chunks,which I lavishly dip in sesame seeds with an aduki bean juis sneaked into a little faux Macdonald ketchup container and re sealed.

Dc doesn't seem to notice AT ALL

They toy.... we then take to the local children's centre on the way home

Happy days

Yes I mean witches abroad!! Man Greebo