AIBU to get irritated by people trying to derail lighthearted threads

[MVLipwig]

It just seems unnecessary when they are just upsetting theirselves and spoiling it for other people.
I’m talking
“What’s your favourite treat food from the shops”
“Nothing. I live in a wooden crab infested shack and only eat mouldy dog food and sprouts”
Or
“What funny/silly nonsense did your family do with you as a child”
“Well they string me up and beat me with birches, I don’t know if that counts”
I understand hard lives, and it’s not been a picnic personally but I (and I assume others) read cheerful threads as nice escapism and happy memories and these posters are upsetting their selves and others

Have a heart. Some of us don't even have a chip to piss on.

Either join in in the spirit of the thread or leave it the fuck alone.

You could contact MNHQ to put that in the Talk Guidelines. That would sort everything out.

I recently saw someone post something along the lines of 'please don't post on my thread any more' to a poster who disagreed with them. V polite.

On the 'which DD should have the pizza' thread just now, some miserable fucker has come in with the predictable 'some people will never even get to dream about smelling leftover pizza'.

I laugh at the random inclusion of cucumber, like it's an antidote to anything vaguely unhealthy foods that are only allowed once in a blue moon, such as party food that includes cucumber that no-one will ever touch or 'CBA cooking tonight, we don't normally eat like this, we normally have mountains of veg but we're slumming it with home made organic free range chicken gougons, cous cous and cucumber on the side'.

But I do get irritated by those who feel the need to be grovellingly apologetic for having anything nice 'we're very fortunate, we can afford piano lessons/a holiday/organic food' but no-one ever seems embarrased when they talk about much bigger extravagences that hardly anyone can afford such as the 5 bedroom period detached property in a naice village within catchment of the best schools in the area .

I had to lick the cardboard box clean with my tongue.

And then my tongue was cut off and made into a naice casserole with hearty chokes and a good bit of whipping cream.

Still, even though I was dead I was happy.

But I still wasn't given any fucking cucumber.

Please be more sensitive. My dear Grandmother died of a heart wasting disease; at the end of her life it was barely larger than a Tesco own brand avocado. Saying lighthearted is terribly unfeeling.

some miserable fucker has come in with the predictable 'some people will never even get to dream about smelling leftover pizza'.

They won't in this house because I'm gonna scoff the fucking lot!

The shower ones are hilarious! It's either, 'I can smell a bra that's been worn more than once and I can't stay on a train with anyone who does that because I will vomit' or 'When I were a lad, my mother spit on us and dried us with her breath!'

The ones about periods are mad. "Ooh I can smell blood a mile away while in a deep sea submarine with six zillion clothes pegs on my nose". The fucking Princess and the Pea apparently has nothing on these people. We must be surrounded by human bloodhounds.

aint nobody going to admit their child eats macaroni and cheese four times daily, between rounds of FortNight
Nothing to see here, move along

And then my tongue was cut off and made into a naice casserole with hearty chokes and a good bit of whipping cream.

And we ate for an entire week on that because people these days don't even know what a normal portion size looks like and that's why food shortages and high food prices are good because everyone is obese. Men need all the food, doncha know. Countered with, 'I hit tennis against Andy Murray whilst running on a treadmill. I am 6ft tall and weigh 9st.'

No one is ever, 'I don't know what the fuck my BMI is or care. I like to eat and I'm going to eat it.'

@RavenWings 😂😂 I just snicker quietly at poster’s who swear they can sniff a scented towel on another woman at twenty feet and must leave the office as they can’t stop gagging..

I tend to think there's a lot of embellishment going on by a lot of posters.

The 'bin in the bathroom or not' threads are usually fascinating.Some people have them but you aren't allowed to actually put anything in it, oh no.
And others seem to like a good rummage through them. Bleurgh.

Have a heart.

How insensitive. Some of us had them removed and sold to pay for a roof over our heads - I say a roof, it were a roof to us.

There's a lump of rock where my heart ought to be. Unless it's sad films.

You are all my people. My favourite such thread was where one dickhead woman was aghast that another in the thread had let her daughter have 2 oranges as a pudding. Her words were "why don't you just pull your child's teeth out with some string and a door handle?? I can't stand irresponsible parents"

Arf.

And another...... "more than 2 Jaffa cakes is really greedy". What a load of shite.

This reply though

A HEDGE ? An actual fucking hedge.

I grew up on a bare concrete slab. I used to dream about having my very own weed, never mind a hedge. Fucking luxury.

Ugh even on non lighthearted threats there are always people who completely miss the point and just want to attack OP for the most stupid shit!

OP, I think it's very exclusionary to say people can't throw themselves a pity party on lighthearted threads, it's not like there's a million sad threads they can me-rail instead, is it? No. Typical selfish mn humorists who think its all about them. You shower of cheerful bastards, bet you're all fucking morning people who love fucking Mondays as well aren't you?

Eat more than TWO CAKES AT A TIME!!! We Take turns licking one after tea and feel grossed out by so much sugar and fat!!

There are some joyless, chewy faced bastards on mn. It's about 70 per cent I would say. There are about 20 per cent irritatingly twee types posting about glitter and crap then there are the 10 per cent of us left who are the perfectly capable of responding to any thread in the right tone. I suppose the place would be dull with just us

GunpowderGelatine or if there is a thread with people nominating and posting pictures of film stars/pop/rock stars/generally good looking men who they think are sexy/attractive there is always one poster who has to say "how awful, you would be horrified if men/your husbands did this".

Err no.

The doghouse is barking (see what I did there?).

When someone posts asking for advice about getting a puppy of a specific breed, you can guarantee within half a dozen replies there will be one telling the OP that unless they change their plans and adopt a three legged, half blind, elderly and incontinent ex racing greyhound they’re a monster and basically single handily responsible for the existence of puppy farms.

@ProudThrilledHappy heeheehee!

@shamofamockery Yesterday I tried to convince dd (11) to let me pull her loose tooth with some string on a door handle. Isn’t that a thing anymore?

Wonder what the word count of 'homemade' is on the abrrsge "what's for dinner?" thread.

Maybe I'll do a PhD on it in the world's most substandard university. I'm sure which ever it is has been mentioned on the that thread (mentioned by someone who got a upper higher first from the world's most amazing university).