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AIBU?

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Original poster

In laws bringing son back late.

91 replies

sugarplumfairy01 · 01/09/2018 18:12

We have a long standing issue with my in laws about time keeping.

They had my son today at someone's bday party. (Someone he's never met - I still think it's random but hey ho!)

They were told to have him back between 3-4pm. Hubby rang at 430 and they said they were still at the party.

They eventually turned up at 530. No apology, nothing.

Hubby was saying he was annoyed about it to me, although said nothing on the phone to his dad, and then said nothing when they dropped him off. I get he didn't want to say anything in front of our son but I thought he would have may be gone out to speak to him or said dad I need a chat.

Aibu to be annoyed?!

Hubby and I are now sitting on separate rooms and not talking.

We have a 6 month old daughter who is over at my parents this weekend (trying to crack not feeding from anything else other than me!) So I wanted a nice night with my boys to have dinner and watch a movie. Then we're doing something tomorrow.

I finished work early today to make sure I had time with my boys.

I don't know whether to message and say something to his dad or just wait for hubby to deal with it, if he ever does.

I now don't think they should be having my son until they can get better at time keeping
Aibu to say that? It's not just this time. It's every time. Late picking him up. Late dropping him off.

OP posts:
Aprilshowersinaugust · 01/09/2018 18:15

Just make your own plans at the week ends instead.

bluemascara · 01/09/2018 18:16

God almighty yabu.
Did you have any time critical activities planned for this evening? If not then what's the issue?

YAB even more u to continually refer to your husband as hubby. 🤢

GabriellaMontez · 01/09/2018 18:18

Either he speaks to them or they don't go again. Irritating. Do they assume you don't have any plans at all?

dontlikebeards · 01/09/2018 18:20

Your in laws love their gs and he was enjoying himself. You are overreacting.

saoirse31 · 01/09/2018 18:20

you sound like hard work on reading op but maybe I'm missing lots. Do you like them? Why dont you or dh collect him if time is such a big deal? An hour late is hardly causing the ruination of your plans as described.

Would be unimpressed with you re the 'they were told to have him back'.. No thanks for taking him, giving him mice time etc

I don't know, maybe there's other stuff going on but think you can still have nice evening without getting stressed needlessly. Not v nice for your son now by what you say, he probably had more fun at inlawsctbh.

Helpmeyouyetti · 01/09/2018 18:21

It’s a nuisance but seriously wouldn’t get overly worked up Over this.

Bluelady · 01/09/2018 18:21

Why can't you still do what you planned?

Singlenotsingle · 01/09/2018 18:22

Oh don't be so silly! You knew who he was with, and where he was! Did you want them to drag him away, disappointed that he had to leave early? Chill out ffs! They were doing you a favour, giving you a break! Shock

Original poster
sugarplumfairy01 · 01/09/2018 18:22

I don't see what difference it makes if it's activities planned or time to spend with my son.

We've not had time with him on his own since my daughter arrived as she's been a handful.

Referring to hubby or husband makes no difference...unhelpful comment. Much prefer that to DH DD and DS. Not my taste but quite frankly no relevance to the question.

They knew we had plans with him as HUSBAND made them aware.

OP posts:
Scabetty · 01/09/2018 18:22

A bit annoying but they obviously love having ds and are more chilled over time. Maybe they were having a good time and it would have been rude to just leave. As long as ds was fine on return I would let it go. Why spoil the rest of the evening by sulking?

cestlavielife · 01/09/2018 18:22

They were at a party
It was Saturday afternoon
Not a huge deal.
Tho they coukd have texted to say running late.
What did you have to do at 4 pm ?
Let go a little but don't let them take him when it really is time sensitive e.g. catching a train.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/09/2018 18:22

If this is a regular occurrence and there's no communication or apology from them I think you have cause to be annoyed. A simple text or phone call to let you know they're running late costs nothing.

What do you think is behind this? Are they just bad time keepers or are they doing it deliberately do you think?

StepBackNow · 01/09/2018 18:22

Massive over reaction, OP.

Theworldisfullofgs · 01/09/2018 18:23

Personally I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. As someone who had no grandparents and whose children have no grandparents I think you are lucky to have people who want to be part of your children's lives.

PersianCatLady · 01/09/2018 18:23

You still had time to have a nice evening but now I suppose that moment has passed if you are not talking to each other.

Is there something more going on here?

YeTalkShiteHen · 01/09/2018 18:24

“They were told to bring him”

Told? Or thanked for taking him out?

If you wanted him home, you should have kept him home.

cestlavielife · 01/09/2018 18:24

5 30 you can still have dinner and watch Netflix or DVD.

Sirzy · 01/09/2018 18:24

You know they are poor with timekeeping so surely you add that to your planning.

You still have all evening and all of tomorrow!

SemperIdem · 01/09/2018 18:24

They were only an hour late? A bit annoying but really...they’re not the ones who spoilt your planned evening with your husband and son, you are. You’ve overreacted to the point you and your husband aren’t speaking, over something which ultimately isn’t that much of a big deal.

Lovely atmosphere for your son to come home to after having a nice time at a party, I’m sure.

Original poster
sugarplumfairy01 · 01/09/2018 18:25

@singlenotsingle
They weren't doing me a favour. They wanted to take him to some random party that started at 11am.

We never asked them to take him, nor did I need a break from him. Given this was the first time in 6 months I was getting to spend time with him.

We are trying to do what we had planned but just a lot later, no dinner as he's been eating all day now, as kids do at parties. And we're up early tomorrow so can't have a late night

OP posts:
Starlighter · 01/09/2018 18:25

I’d bite my in-laws hands off if they offered to take my dc out for the day! It’s nice they do stuff like that. He was obviously enjoying himself. It’s 5.30pm, not midnight... I’d find it hard to get annoyed about this really.

SemperIdem · 01/09/2018 18:26

Well you should have said no then, shouldn’t you.

Unihorn · 01/09/2018 18:26

I have an almost 2 year old daughter and a 5 month old. I've barely seen my older daughter since my younger daughter's birth for similar reasons ie. my baby is a fucking demon. Although I miss my older daughter, if someone took her off me for the afternoon I would rejoice to the high heavens if they brought her back late. YABU sorry.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/09/2018 18:26

Given this was the first time in 6 months I was getting to spend time with him

What? That's a bit dramatic OP.

Littlelambpeep · 01/09/2018 18:27

I totally understand you wanted some time with your son but this is a huge overreaction and now you are letting this spoil your evening too. It was just over an hour and it would be good for him to meet new people and enjoy a party. I would have had a nice bath or got my hair done or something.

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