In laws bringing son back late.

[sugarplumfairy01]

We have a long standing issue with my in laws about time keeping.

They had my son today at someone's bday party. (Someone he's never met - I still think it's random but hey ho!)

They were told to have him back between 3-4pm. Hubby rang at 430 and they said they were still at the party.

They eventually turned up at 530. No apology, nothing.

Hubby was saying he was annoyed about it to me, although said nothing on the phone to his dad, and then said nothing when they dropped him off. I get he didn't want to say anything in front of our son but I thought he would have may be gone out to speak to him or said dad I need a chat.

Aibu to be annoyed?!

Hubby and I are now sitting on separate rooms and not talking.

We have a 6 month old daughter who is over at my parents this weekend (trying to crack not feeding from anything else other than me!) So I wanted a nice night with my boys to have dinner and watch a movie. Then we're doing something tomorrow.

I finished work early today to make sure I had time with my boys.

I don't know whether to message and say something to his dad or just wait for hubby to deal with it, if he ever does.

I now don't think they should be having my son until they can get better at time keeping
Aibu to say that? It's not just this time. It's every time. Late picking him up. Late dropping him off.

It sounds as if you have agreed to too much too soon. Why did you agree to him going to the party if you wanted to spend time with him exclusively? Did you want your parents to have dd for the weekend? I wonder if you feel under some duress hence the anxiety and overreaction.

OP this would wind me up for no other reason than I hate lateness. There is no need for it. It would have taken no effort to tell you they were staying longer.

Don’t let it ruin your night though.

Bloody hell I would love it if my inlaws actually took an interest in my dc. You don’t know how well off you are.

“YAB even more u to continually refer to your husband as hubby

And to use the term 'my boys'.”

Oh fuck off with that. She can say hubby and ‘my boys’ if she likes. Nothing to do with you.

Hubby! Hubby! Hubby!

I can understand how annoying this can be OP, especially if your son is very young. Saying that, I do think you should try and let it go. You are in the very fortunate position if having 2 sets of GPs willing to take your children off your hands. So am I. I try not to moan about the small details.

It would be far less annoying if they let you know they were going to be late. I can't relax when I'm waiting for my dc to arrive home.

Why would you allow them to take your son if you had plans later in the day, and were aware of their poor time management? You sound like you’re pretty strong minded, so surely would simply have said no to their request to have him. Unless you were happy to use their child minding services before four as it suited you?

The evening plans, barely sound like a plan that was disrupted that much. With exception of mum and dad now in a huff.

If your son had a nice day, that should be important?

Op hasn't come back
She must be busy with her boys

If people are known to be bad timekeeping you adjust to cater for that. So you want child home at 4 you say 3 and expect them before 5. I hardly think the child was in danger with the grandparents. They should have texted or phoned but don't you have their numbers so you could have texted or phoned them and not stressed yourself to this extent. Are you as uptight with your parents taking the children out and being back at precisely the right time?
Calm down and enjoy your evening

Agree with little paintbox, i think the problem is that you have moved your 6 mo out for the weekend.
Your hormones will be all over the place and you know she will be pretty unhappy as well which probably is not helping your mood at all.

I don’t understand how ‘hubby’ and ‘my boys’ is so bad but ‘DH’ and ‘DS’ is ok. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s pathetic to care about things like that let alone to bother commenting on it.

Sorry OP, but it’s another YABU from me. I get that lateness is annoying and it must be irritating for you but I think it was daft of you to let your son go when you have a ‘long standing issue’ with your in-laws time keeping. Why would you think they would suddenly change their behaviour? It doesn’t make sense and the end result is that you are all having a crappy evening upset with each other.

My hubbys (😉) family are always late for everything. They don’t have an issue with it and would be unfazed by other people turning up late. It is irritating especially as my hubby and I are punctual. Mostly wemanage to work around them. If I wanted someone or something dropped off at a certain time I would do it myself.

Hubby is hated on MN. Fact. It's a bit off to point it out though imo.

I know it's an ongoing issue but can't you just assume they will always be an hour late - if you had somewhere you needed to be then I could understand it more but your daughter is at your parents overnight. Be grateful for the childcare, honestly you don't realise unless you have completely weird inlaws who refuse to visit ever but moan that we favour mine (who do visit)

Am possibly biased because my in laws are lovely but don't take on sole care of any grandkids. Frankly, anyone who brings my DCs back late (so long as I know roughly where they are and not in trouble) has my endless gratitude for the unexpected bonus free time! You're getting a bit of a flaming but I expect there's more backstory than this... Hope you get to enjoy your movie night tomorrow instead, and have a good night tonight.

I think OP was doing the grandparents a favour in letting the GP have him, when actually the OP would probably rather have spent the time with him and DH herself. I presume the ds is still quite little, a toddler? I'd have been pissed off at 4.30 tbh, especially on hearing they hadn't even left yet. As another pp said, the very least they could have done was phone or text, so no one was A. Worried B. Further inconvenienced. GP were rude IMHO

I say hubby and I don’t give a toss what MN has to say about it. The hive mind hatred for it is actually rather pathetic.