Advice needed please, I'm desperate to be a good mum!

[Mummy2emilee]

Hi Everyone,
So I am new to this site as I have been recommended it for good advice.
My fiance admitted to cheating on me, he did it twice about 2 years ago with the same girl. I am heartbroken as we have been together for a long time and have a beautiful little girl Emilee together who is 3.
Anyway, my fiance was the main earner and I have called tax credits yesterday to explain he has moved out and I will now need to claim other benefits, and try to support my daughter. They said that the payments will be suspended until the new claim is worked out. I am panicking, how am I supposed to keep a roof over my daughter's head with just £82 child benefit every 4 weeks??! I need to apparently claim for income support, does anyone have any ideas how long this can take to set up? Also, any ideas how I can make the most out of my money and make it stretch further. I need a new cooker as my fiance has taken it with him and left me with a slow cooker, toaster and microwave. Any advice on healthy cheap meals and how to best manage my money. I'm so scared I will lose my house, I don't know how I am going to pay my rent which is due next week! Please help xxx

you could also try selling a few items on ebay, or a similar website like gumtree, which will help tide you over. again, wishing you all the best x

capuk.org

These guys are unreal. You don’t have to share their faith to receive their amazing support.

Ok you'll need to keep your £12 for bus fairs unless you can ask any friends for lifts? Even any mums you know from toddlers groups would probably give you a lift somewhere.
Don't be afraid to tell people the truth, you've done nothing wrong and your ex is an utter cunt for doing this.

I know you may not wish to say but where do you live roughly someone might live nearby who can help

I think you can cook anything in the slow cooker tbh. Just put it on high and check it a couple of times

Here’s an online jewellery buying website - you won’t get as much from a “we buy anything” type outfit, but if your priority is cash, something like this would be quick:

www.buymyjewellery.com/sell-jewellery

I actually have an oven that's about to be ripped out, just needs a good clean. I'm in/near Glasgow

OK you need to claim ASAP, do that on Monday. Mostly it's done by phone so you don't need to get the bus to start with.

The DWP may give you a bus pass. Also tell them you have no cooker. I know they have phased out a lot of loans but there might still be something.

Contact the place that offered you the job, send a letter, explain that you cannot take up the job at the moment due to personal circumstances and can they consider you in the future if they have anything you can fit in around childcare.

Sign up to feecycle/freegle and ask for a cooker.

You can manage for a while with a microwave, slow cooker and toaster.

I currently have stuffed cabbage leaves in mine, the stuffing is mince but you can do veg. I used 1/2 a packet of mince, the other half will be meatballs tomorrow.

What do you have in your cupboards? What do you have in the fridge?

Thanks so much. I will check that website out. I don't have many friends as we never socialized much and couldn't ask them for help as we aren't that close really. I live in Staffordshire

i think you can do nuggets in the microwave. asda had a bit written about it:

Microwave (from frozen): Lift front flap, tear back lid and tuck under box to allow the box to rotate in microwave. Remove chicken nugget from the bag and place in the box. Place the box with the chicken nugget in the centre of the microwave and cook on full power 1 1/2 minutes, remove and shake. Return to the microwave for the remaining time 2 1/2 minutes (700W), 2 minutes (800W), 1 1/2 minutes (900W).
Leave to stand for 1 minute, then shake and separate.
Caution! Box becomes hot on heating.
Check product is piping hot before serving. Do not re-heat.

There may well be other organisations/ charities etc that can help you.

Can you add calling your health visitor on Monday to your list? They might know of what is available in your area.

Also, do give your bank a ring re the DD that has taken you overdrawn
They may agree for a temporary overdraft

4 eggs, small amount of pasta, half a loaf, chips and nuggets, 2 chicken fillets, 3 baked beans, 2 tinned veg, bit of cereal and a few potatoes, couple of slices of ham and half a manky lettuce lol. Does anyone know if the benefits phonelines are free?

If you’re in Scotland the Scottish Welfare Fund would give you a crisis grant. You could also get a cooker from them through the community care grant scheme (although that does take up to 3 weeks). If you have any jewellery from your ex (and that’s going to feel pretty tainted just now, right?) take it to cash converters or similar on Monday. When I was in a shaky spot a few years ago, I sold a bunch of old cds and dvds through music magpie and got some money that way. You could also try selling any of your dd’s old baby stuff on Facebook marketplace.

Hello everyone

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

i have found a cooker on ebay, just £1. the grill doesnt work however the oven does. im not sure where you are from but may be worth having a look?

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Belling-Euroline-White-Gas-Cooker/202420730885?hash=item2f21373c05:g:~WwAAOSwhE9biKC-

I'm sure the job centre have phones so you can call income support etc. I have been in a similar position and it's awful but you can't blame yourself. As others have said just sell anything you possibly can to help you through the next couple of weeks.

Sell the BBQ, sell your ring , sell old clothes/shoes, anything you can. Do you have more than 1 TV? If so, sell a TV. Do you have any of DDs stuff from when she was a baby - a Moses basket or a bouncer? If so, sell those.
Get on gumtree or Shpock NOW and start selling - hopefully you'll have some buyers later tonight or tomorrow and you will have cash in your hand.
Alternatively, is there a pawn shop anywhere near you? You could get rid of the ring quite easily there.

I've been in your position before (I also didn't know about the benefits system) and ended up selling all our furniture except TV, bed, sofa, and laptop.

Also have a look on Freecycle and put a wanted ad on.

Do y have a church nearby? Mine didn't run a food bank but kept a small supply of tins to give should someone come in asking for food. Might be worth a visit tmr?

Thanks all. I don't have anything from when she was a baby as we gave her stuff to a local charity shop as she outgrew everything. I will have a sort out later and see if there is anything we can do without. I could sell her TV from her bedroom and I could replace it when I'm financially stable again. The cooker on ebay is miles away unfortunately but I will have a search local to me. I live in Staffordshire

Definitely sell her tv. If she's upset then tell her you sent it to Santa for his elves to fix.

Yeah thats a good Idea, she shouldn't get too upset then.

I would have a chat with your neighbours as they may be willing to give you a lift, do you still have your child’s car seat? When they go shopping they could take you, you could get some oatcakes, freeze those you don’t use, eggs, beans Lidl’s are really nice for 4 for £1.
I know I wouldn’t mind especially if you told them how you’ve been left in the lurch. Do you know where your partner works?

I could sell her TV from her bedroom and I could replace it when I'm financially stable again.
I wouldn’t. A 3 year old doesn’t need a TV in their room.

He is self employed so works all over the place as a plasterer.