What the fuck is this animal on my wall?? I am terrified

[nhssecretary]

Can't get closer
It's in alcove in kitchen where we keep Hoover and stuff
I've been doing the recycling
It is messy and I am bricking it
Does it bite

Suck it up in the Hoover. If it's a bat it will die

Bats are a protected species.

UPDATE PLEASE!!!!

@manicmij

Wow - I thought from your comment that you must be a pathetic little troll trying to shock with your repulsive suggestion, but a search on your name shows that you seem to be a prolific poster. What you've suggested is illegal as well as cruel and despicable. I won't say what I think of you, because my comment would be deleted, but I'm sure you can imagine. You disgust me.

Considering you said you didn't know what the thing was how on earth can you take my comment seriously. There are loads of comments suggesting how to deal with whatever "the thing" was but you ignored them all. My input was intended to be humorous. Obviously you don't have a sense of humour, more of a drama queen I'd say.

My house has 2 bat boxes built into wall just below the roof. If I sit outside at twilightish I can watch them flying about and catching bugs.

www.nhbs.com/equipment/bat-boxes-for-external-walls?q=&fR[hide][0]=false&fR[live][0]=true&fR[type][0]=5&hFR[subjects_equipment.lvl1][0]=Nest%20Boxes%2C%20Habitats%20and%20Feeders%20>%20Bat%20Boxes%20>%20Bat%20Boxes%20for%20External%20Walls

Jeez that link didn't work well.. apologies. I have Ibstock Enclosed Bat Box, designed for pipistrelle bats.

Hilarious, @manicmij … I can see everyone falling around laughing at your 'joke' about torturing a sentient animal.

Thank you for the link, klutzy. As a result of this bat / strawberry thread I’ve joint the Bat Conservation Trust plus DH and I are going to put some bat boxes up. I’m already thinking of being a bat fosterer when I retire although as I work for the NHS that’ll be when I’m about 108

Ok this is all very cute but have you seen bamboo bats??? Google them now...

It was a mouldy Berry I am sorry!!

😂

Vair' naine RedPanda - but the tent-making bats are even better!

Ring the RSPCA. It needs rescuing.

SchadenfreudePersonified O.M.G!! brb off to book flight to South America

I'm studying your mouldy strawberry wondering why it has grown legs

Panda

I'll meet you at the airport! You bring snacks, I'll smuggle the

OMG!!! I need these bats - just as much as I needed Quokkas! (And still do.)

goo.gl/images/jQHUnL

This is one of the best stories ever! I live in Australia and have hand-reared flying foxes (or fruit bats). They are totally adorable as babies, but your mouldy strawberry isn’t as far from the reality as you may imagine. This is a species that spends most of it’s life eating fruit and sleeping, eating and peeing while hanging upside down. They’re rather, erm.... fragrant little buggers. Meanwhile, if you have antisocial neighbours with more cars than bathrooms, there are native Aussie trees that happen to make riot bats crap red, white and blue highly acidic poo that strips car paint if not attended to almost immediately!

Quokkas have the sweetest smiles in the world!

Apparently they bite like buggery, though.)

WHAT TREES JUSTILOU1????? You can't leave us hanging like that!!