Am I being a bridezilla?

[Kittykat12345]

Right, a bit of back story. Me and my partner have a baby and all in all we have 4 children. His ex had a child when they split that isn't his and he never sees, but the child calls his mum nan. We are getting married and his family have invited his exis child.. and that's fine, I just don't want the child in family pictures that should be special. I get the child is just a child but I don't want someone me and my partner don't know in special pictures that are going to be hung up in our home. I know his family will probably feel different, but he agrees. What do I do ? The child also called our baby there sibling the first and only time they met and that really hurt me and I know my other child who is the same age really isn't going to like the whole situation. Please halp 😣

The child has met my partner about 3 times and me once, DC isn't my partner's child and he didn't raise DC. If he did raise DC I would completely understand or if it was his child. It's a very complicated situation and personally I have never experienced anything like this. I thought that if your ex has another child then that child has there own family x

Pretend she's a cousin from far away, I'm sure she'll spend her time with her nan.

Who is going to be looking after this child on the day? Your soon to be MIL? Every wedding I've been to the parents of the bride/groom have actually been pretty busy milling, catching up with family etc. After the bride/groom themselves they're normally the next layer down of "people the guests want to chat to".

I've known a few families where there's yours, mine and ours kids, and where those yours and mine often have half siblings on the other side (i.e. from the parent who isn't part of the new couple). I've never known them to be invited to the wedding.

Yes I think his mum is, there coming a day before because his children are in the wedding and need to get ready the same time as us.

Is there anywhere you could go separately for the photos with your & DH’s children? Or pop out for them quietly without announcing - photos with the children - might mean no confrontation needed?

Or when photographer asks for set photos just does it by name rather than one with all the kids so no confusion.

FWIW I think it’s reqllt fucking rude to invite people to someone else’s wedding without asking the people getting married first!

My youngest calls my exdp’s, (my eldest sons dad) parents grandparents and aunts and uncles, even though he’s not exdp’s son. Likewise exdp’s children with his wife, call my parents grandparents. Some will find it strange, but we’ve remained close and it works for all of us. However your situation sounds a lot more ‘detached’ if that’s the right word.

With regards to photos, have the child in some, but ask the photographer to remove them for the family ones. As long as they are having their photos done they won’t figure out they aren’t in the main ones.

But even though we have the situation ive explained, I’d never expect my ds to be in family photos etc and his children wouldn’t be in mine.