Was I rude or the Morrison's delivery driver?

[Pyongyang]

I know this is really small, and I’m happy to be told IABU but just genuinely wondering if I could have handled it different. So would really appreciate your opinions on this.

today I had my shopping delivered, I live on the first floor. She came up with the bags and I directed her to my kitchen, my kitchen is literally next to the front door, only a few steps away. As she walked towards my kitchen she huffed, rolled her eyes and said “alright” I thought maybe she was stressed or tired, so I offered to go down and help her with the bags, she refused. She came up a few times and didn’t speak to me and avoided eye contact.

When she came up the second or third time, I asked her if that was it and she said “yeah” on her way out. Didn’t even hand me the receipt or couldn’t be bothered to let me know they’re weren’t any more bags.

Just to correct, when delivery drivers come up with the trays I just take the bags myself while they go get the rest. When they just come up with the bags I just tell them to put them in the kitchen since it’s so close to the front door, or sometimes they will ask me where I want them.

So was I rude for directing her to the kitchen or was she just plain rude?

There are no printed receipts with Morrison’s - you get it online.

Well clearly you've never shopped with Morrison's then! You get a receipt when they deliver your shopping too!

@HermioneGoesBackHome It says on Morrisons website, 'to your door' - and I can't see any mention anywhere of it being brought inside (same with Asda. Tesco says they'll bring it to your door, or to your kitchen IF YOU ASK, so not a given (although I would feel cheeky as an able bodied person asking them to do this... surely this is for people who are physically unable?) Ocado, however, makes a big deal of it being 'to your kitchen table'... so no, I don't think it's standard for them to bring it to your kitchen for you.

A close friend of mine works for Morrisons and always says if there's a problem to always feed it back, it doesn't necessarily mean they'll be "in trouble" as it can be a training need or something the company themselves can work on. Not saying that's specifically the case here but just something to bare in mind.

As for where the shopping gets delivered they should always ask where you want it delivered. They're supposed to deliver it to your kitchen if that's what you need. My friend has actually gone as far as to unpack into the fridge for a lady who couldn't manage to do it herself as he was in her kitchen anyway.

They're also supposed to ask if you have any bags to return too.

I appreciate flats and such aren't ideal for them, but unfortunately, it's a rubbish element of the job for them

This is painfully reminiscent of being told to 'smile' by men in the office as a form of control.

Oh come on, there's not smiling, and then there's delivering a very obvious non-verbal 'fuck you'.

I live on the third floor and had my heavily pregnant downstairs neighbour knock on my door as a delivery driver had refused to carry the shopping up two flights of stairs and she couldn't. Online chat apparently said that drivers could refuse to carry up stairs due to H&S.

Her attitude and interaction were not the best - they were not what Morrisons would be encouraging, BUT I would let it go and acknowledge it as not the best, but not a major issue.

Delivering to an upstairs flat is always going to be harder work and more tiring than to a ground floor. Every delivery drivers heart sinks when they discover they have arrived somewhere with several flights of stairs. Yes, it is their job to do it....and she did. Yes, they should be polite and friendly and she wasn't really....but it's understandable.

What would be worth complaining about....if she had refused to bring the stuff upstairs or made a big fuss about your request to take it into the kitchen.

Just shrug and move on. You received the service, if not service with a smile. In life, we often encounter people who are a little rude or surly or unfriendly....it's one of those things and not worth dwelling on and certainly not worth complaining about. Although she should have been more friendly, understand the hard nature of her job and your delivery in particular and just cut her a little slack and move on.

good grief... her body language was a very obvious non verbal 'fuck you' now. It could've been a 'christ, my bones ache, I'm so tired' body language

No one is suggesting that she should have acted like a couRt Jester. That's just not real life.

It does have me thinking whether I should ask them to bring the bags in next week.

Well no I don't think you should. She had already been up and down the stairs carrying your shopping, would it be so hard to take them off her at the door? I never ask the delivery person to take the shopping through to my kitchen and I live in a house, it just seems lazy.

I always tip takeaway drivers but stopped tipping supermarket deliveries after reading that no-one did on here.

You definitely weren’t rude! Maybe she was just having a bad day but she was definitely in the wrong.

She was rude.

There may be perfectly good reasons as to why she was rude.

But she was rude.

I do online shopping with Tesco and always ask them to take it round to the back door as it's attached to the kitchen and easier to unload. I don't think I'd ever ask them to bring it through the house, especially in bags. I don't think you were rude particularly, but I don't think asking delivery drivers to carry bags through the house is 'usual'. I may be wrong.

Those of you who say "I'd never ask them to bring the bags in ", yes you would if your kitchen was very close to the front door like mine, and they were standing there with the bags. Literally 2-3 steps and she would be in the kitchen, if my kitchen was further down the hallway I'd never ask them to bring them in. But it's not..

OP I have shopped with Morrison’s online many times.

Oh come on, there's not smiling, and then there's delivering a very obvious non-verbal 'fuck you'.

She did say 'alright'. Policing the manner it is delivered in, especially when the results are the same is definitely controlling behavior.

We use Tesco and we don't opt for bags. Our delivery people always take it through to the kitchen at the back of the house and a couple have even helped me unload them (probably because it's quicker with two). Always been polite, always been chatty. If DS and DH are around they bring the trays through, I unload and they take the empty trays back - I don't have them standing around idle!

When I lived in a flat though I used to say 'leave the bags at the main door' as the delivery people have enough to do. Not sure what I'd do nowadays as you get deliveries without bags so the trays have to be brought closer to the home or the delivery people would have to leave the trays...

I certainly wouldn't report your delivery person OP - unless you got her again and she was just as bad. She may just be having a shit day. We, coincidentally, got a delivery this morning from Tesco. DH was home so brought the trays through and he was chatting to the man at the door as he went back and forth. The man had only just started on the job and yesterday got soaked to the skin delivering umpteen trays of food. It's not the easiest job in the world. We had one a few weeks ago who said they had been really shouted at by a customer during the earlier part of the year because they were 15 minutes late for the delivery. It was snowing, the traffic was bad and the customer said something along the lines of 'if it wasn't for the f-ing snow I'd have got my own groceries instead of leaving it to you incapable lot' - well quite what they expected a delivery driver to do if they couldn't get their own car out I don't know. They get a lot of grief. Forget about it unless you get similar again in which case an email is warranted.

I don't see the driver's issue apart from the stairs but, as others say, it is part of the job and not your fault.

She was probably pissed off but no way should she be showing it to a customer. Agree that, if she does, it's a training issue ans something you could mark up in have your say.

If she was eye rolling, it would be a disciplinary offence adn I don't know how that could be mistaken, tbh. Yanbu, op, and I work for a rival supermarket and it wouldn't be tolerated here

Morrisons have just changed their policy and no longer give a paper receipt. I had an email about that last week.

Yes they're going paperless on 4th September, but I still got my printed receipt.

They're meant to bring the stuff into the kitchen?
Even when pregnant then later with a broken ankle I've always taken my own stuff into the kitchen, they can go back to van for more whilst I'm taking stuff into kitchen, or they can leave and get on with next delivery.
Tbh I'd probably struggle not to roll my eyes if someone pointed me to the kitchen a couple of feet behind them like lady muck 🤷🏼‍♀️

No, I don’t feel ‘entitled’, ‘precious’ or anything else negative about getting the service I’ve paid for, which, in this case, is delivery to my kitchen. Often I’ll take it from them at the door, but not always. It’s often fully of heavy stuff as well - drinks etc. It’s up a flight of (external) stairs too. If I was able/wanted to carry it up myself I wouldn’t be paying a delivery charge.

I use Tesco, Sainsbury and Ocado. I’ve only very rarely had a miserable delivery person. It didn’t occur to me to complain, not even when the (young) guy was very vocal about it being heavy & upstairs. I apologised the first time, ‘ummed’ the next couple of times, but by the 4th time I just said ‘Yes, I know, that’s why I pay to have it delivered!’

Most of the delivery people have been great, I’ve had some brilliant conversations with them, mostly about why they do the job, but other things too. I offer drinks & the bathroom.

I don’t tip. But I don’t tip anyone in the UK (unless it’s a group dining out then I’ll add my share). I HATE the tipping culture, just charge more & i’ll pay more.

It sounds like you were reasonable to me.

But two things come to mind (and that isn’t to say that this lady wasn’t on the rude side for she does work in a customer facing role where sometimes you just have to force a smile):

• When I once thought I had been on the receiving end of some rude behaviour at work, someone pointed out that you never know what’s going on in someone else’s life. The response to that may well be “You still don’t bring your problems to work” but we’re all human and that bit of advice has stuck with me.

• During the height of the Summer heat, the Amazon delivery man came one day to our place with a parcel. I offered him a cold drink and he said that in the 14 months he had been doing the job, no-one had ever offered him a glass of water. I was gobsmacked. Again, not to say you did a single thing wrong or to excuse rude behaviour but I do think delivery drivers probably have a hard job in some respects.

So eye rolling (as perceived by someone, no evidence as such) is now a disciplinary offence. Okaaaay....

I have Tesco delivery. I always ask them to bring to the kitchen. I get a chair for them to put the boxes onto so they and l don't have to bend our backs whilst unloading.

I have bagless delivery and the boxes are always to heavy for me to lift.

Only had one delivery a little huffy - and that was a female. I assumed at the time that she probably thought that as she is also female and is carrying the boxes through then l should too.

It’s a crappy underpaid job. I had many as a student and they weren’t fun. I had to put up with rude fuckers all day long sometimes and yes, by the end of a long shift I was knackered and wanted to desperately tell rude people to fuck off. It’s hard to smile and be friendly to rude twats.

However I wasn’t rude to nice customers, ever. There’s no excuse for it. She obviously had her reasons for being in a foul mood but she didn’t have to take it out on you.