Was I rude or the Morrison's delivery driver?

[Pyongyang]

I know this is really small, and I’m happy to be told IABU but just genuinely wondering if I could have handled it different. So would really appreciate your opinions on this.

today I had my shopping delivered, I live on the first floor. She came up with the bags and I directed her to my kitchen, my kitchen is literally next to the front door, only a few steps away. As she walked towards my kitchen she huffed, rolled her eyes and said “alright” I thought maybe she was stressed or tired, so I offered to go down and help her with the bags, she refused. She came up a few times and didn’t speak to me and avoided eye contact.

When she came up the second or third time, I asked her if that was it and she said “yeah” on her way out. Didn’t even hand me the receipt or couldn’t be bothered to let me know they’re weren’t any more bags.

Just to correct, when delivery drivers come up with the trays I just take the bags myself while they go get the rest. When they just come up with the bags I just tell them to put them in the kitchen since it’s so close to the front door, or sometimes they will ask me where I want them.

So was I rude for directing her to the kitchen or was she just plain rude?

I live in a conversion and my kitchen is on the first floor. In all honesty I never ask the delivery people to bring my bags up. I get them to put them just inside the hallway and carry them up myself. They have to do a huge amount of deliveries each day and expecting them to carry them up flights of stairs for an able bodied person is a bit of a piss take in the first place I think! There will be elderly and disabled people that need them to do it and I'd rather they spent their time and energy helping those people. So yes, I think YABU

No I'm not gonna complain, I had my shopping delivery every week since 2014 and never experienced this before. It does have me thinking whether I should ask them to bring the bags in next week.

I just think - your day was affected for all of 30 seconds by her not being nice enough for your standards. You have no idea what kind of day she was having, and she still DID her job, and what you asked, even though imo it wasn't necessary. If you complain (and let yourself get even more het up than you apparently already are), not only are you just allowing yourself to let one tiny thing take over headspace, but you are also causing trouble for someone who DID THEIR JOB and whose circumstances you have no idea about. Be the bigger person. She wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, but you got your shopping in her kitchen.

I'd rather her say no, then roll her eyes and make me feel like I'm being difficult and demanding.
Well she can't really say no can she? And you were being demanding because she's just put herself out several times with the stairs. You could have managed them from the door into the kitchen.

This is painfully reminiscent of being told to 'smile' by men in the office as a form of control.

So it's ok to huff and puff and roll your eyes when you're being asked to bring the bags in?

She was probably huffing and puffing from carrying endless bags up to the first floor!

Honestly, I cannot get over the meanness of MN sometimes. My default position would be to be nice to the delivery driver knowing it is not an easy job. Not look to complain.

I always tip the delivery drivers. Ocado are fantastic but it seems not everyone tips.
side note but it never every occurred to me to tip. Thinking about this I think it is because the delivery drivers work for Tesco or whoever and I don't tip checkout staff.

Am I in a minority here?

What about takeaway delivery folk etc?

She may have just been having an off day, doubt she meant anything. I wouldn't mention it to Morrisons, they have so many delivery drivers you may not see her again & if you are generally satisfied with their service, no point.

I presume/hope you didn't tip her on this occasion!

What conduct? She did her job. Was she supposed to have a laugh and a chat with the customer?

No, but rolling your eyes at a customer is rude. You don't have to be pleasant to be professional (although being pleasant hardly takes any time).

I think she was rude.
She has a customer facing job and part of the job is to be pleasant to customers. Even if she is on MW.
Plenty of other people in MW also have customer facing responsibilities and are expected to be polite (I’m think people in supermarkets, shops, some receptionists etc etc)

The issue is NOT avoiding eye contact as such. It’s the combination of eye rolling, Not making eye contact, refusing help but then clearly moaning under her breath.
She was basically telling you in a PA way that it’s not on for her to make all those trips (maybe because this is the sort if things that is making her late on her schedule).

TBH if your kitchen is really that close to the front door, would it have been such a hardship for you to put the bags in there yourself? She’d already delivered them to your door and there was more than one trip back and forwards up the stairs.

Having empathy and kindness towards others doing jobs we wouldn’t necessarily want to do goes a long way! YABU unless there’s a massive drip feed as to why you couldn’t put them in your kitchen.

Um no, I don't tip delivery drivers! You're already paying a delivery charge on top of your shopping. And how much would you even tip? £1 seems miserly, but at the same time I wouldn't want to pay more. Neither do I tip for takeaways. Most stuff is paid for in advance on my card anyway and I rarely have cash in the house.

I would just let it go. It's not the end of the world. Sometimes people have an off day. I don't expect everyone to be on top form and jolly 100% of the time even in a customer facing job. We're human, not robots.

I use Morrison's and have done for 2-3 years. I'm disabled and the delivery person always asked where I want the shopping. My kitchen is at the other end of the house and they're always happy to bring it in.

I've had to complain to them before, never about a driver though. The customer service team have always been really good and generous with voucher codes.

I would complain, as their service is to your kitchen, not just the front door.

It would never, ever occur to me to expect a grocery delivery to be brought right to my kitchen. That seems so entitled. Paying for delivery means bring it to your home not the specific room in your home that you want it in. It's the equivalent of asking your Postcarrier to bring your Amazon order direct to your bookshelf rather than taking it at the door.

And you were being demanding because she's just put herself out several times with the stairs
Sorry but no. That’s not been demanding to ask for the service you are paying for.
Part of the cost of having your shopping delivered IS for the driver to bring it to your kitchen. I can’t see how asking the company to provide that service is being difficult or demanding

IF she had brought the bags up as a favour, then the driver would have put herself out. And you could have had grounds for saying the OP was demanding.
You could also say that, if bringing the bags isn’t part of the service, the driver could have said NO. Which also means that saying YEs wouod have been her own choice and there was no need to then grumble about it....

@catsbeensickagain

I tend to tip for takeaways unless there's a delivery charge. Tend not to tip for grocery delivery because there is a delivery fee included.

i think you were a bit rude expecting her to put them in your kitchen, especially after she had already brought them upstairs. my mum lives in an apartment and tesco will only deliver them to the main door!

Didn’t even hand me a receipt

There are no printed receipts with Morrison’s - you get it online.

No, but rolling your eyes at a customer is rude. You don't have to be pleasant to be professional (although being pleasant hardly takes any time)
The rolling of eyes could have easily been misinterpreted after carrying bags upstairs.

Having empathy and kindness towards others doing jobs we wouldn’t necessarily want to do goes a long way!

^^This.

I've had exhausted Yodel, Amazon, whatever delivery drivers shoving parcels in my hand with a 'sign here' and no conversation. I thank them nicely because it is 8.30pm on a horrible wet February night and they probably have another 6 deliveries to do before getting home. I have sympathy with delivery drivers, I don't look for rolling eyes or huffing and puffing and consider ringing and complaining.

The delivery drivers have always taken my shopping through to the kitchen. I've used Tesco, sainsburys and Asda.

You weren't rude OP.

@hermionegoesbackhome i’m pretty sure you aren’t paying for them to deliver it to your kitchen! surely it’s to your front door...

Paying for delivery means bring it to your home not the specific room in your home that you want it in

Well some people should actually checked what they paying for.
I’ve used home delivery from supermarkets for as long as they have existed. The delivery has always been to your kitchen.
It’s clearly stated in the T&C....
Actually at some point, they were even using that as an incentive in their advertising

I honestly don't see what the problem is, sorry. The drivers are expected to do a certain amount of drops within a small time frame. She did exactly what you asked and was probably worried about fighting traffic or if the paperwork was correct. Being a delivery driver is a thankless task, be it for a supermarket, Amazon or a postie.

I use Tesco mostly and once in a while, Ocado. They always bring the bags to the kitchen - even in our converted flat which means a lift to the 4th floor and and then quite a long walk. They are nearly always friendly and chatty. Once in a blue moon I get someone grumpy but as long as they put the shopping where I want it I can cope with grumpiness.

Never tipped one either.