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AIBU?

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Original poster

My DS, university/ job/ career....

128 replies

Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 09:25

For the last 3 months DS has been working in an office for a local company - basic junior admin stuff. Completing spreadsheet, typing up notes. He's been asked to do a few extra tasks too but it's all quite simple.

At first he quite liked it when it was all new. But now he's really bored. There's no prospects either, no natural way of advancing his career. The more senior people have worked there for 20 years plus, then it's loads of juniors. So no career path.

He said if he stays for a year, 5, he feels he will be in the same position. He's a very upbeat person normally, things don't upset him, he is always glass is half full. But currently he's really quite down. It's most unlike him.

We've talked about applying for another job. However he's not sure he enjoys the office environment. This is his first office job, he previously worked in customer facing roles in a bar/ restaurant which he enjoyed more but was never a long term plan.

When he was in 6th form he thought about teaching (and did some teaching practice in school) but the school directed him down the path of accountancy- he applied for a few degree apprenticeships but wasn't successful and took the bar job...He's not sure accountancy is for him though it was more the schools idea. And it's still office work which doesn't appeal.

I've asked about other careers, he really isn't a physical type so manual trades don't appeal.

He's going to speak to a family friend who is a teacher about his options and see what he can do. I don't know if he can try and get a place through clearing or if he will need to wait and apply next year but at least he can look into it.

This seems sensible to me, but my DP was quite dismissive of it and said he needs to stick to it, he's being ridiculous saying there are no prospects, and so on. So is DS being unreasonable in this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 11:16

Anyone?

OP posts:
JennyHolzersGhost · 29/08/2018 11:19

What A Levels did he get ? Did he consider university and if so what subjects was he interested in ? Could he apply for uni entry next year and work til then to save up some cash ?

MadCatEnthusiast · 29/08/2018 11:21

As he's probably into teaching, maybe he could sign onto a teach first type of course and learn on the job getting QTS at the end of it without going to university? Some primary and secondary schools do offer that.

JennyHolzersGhost · 29/08/2018 11:21

Generally if you’ve not got a clear career plan at 18 (and only a small proportion of kids do!) then uni can be a good way to gain a qualification while getting some life experience which helps in figuring out what to do next.

He shouldn’t be expected to have a fully fledged career plan if he’s just left school, that’s a bit much to expect !

chocolateworshipper · 29/08/2018 11:21

Life's too short to stay in a job you don't like - assuming of course that you are not reliant on the money to survive. Is there a local technical college he could speak to about courses relating to more practical jobs (i.e. non-office jobs)?

Crystalblue13 · 29/08/2018 11:21

Office work definetly isn’t for everyone. I did a year of it and was bored out of my mind and now work in a hospital.
Has he ever worked in a school to see if he would like it? You need a bit of school experience to apply for teaching degrees anyway, so maybe he could do that for a year.

Racecardriver · 29/08/2018 11:26

OK. We'll accountancy is a bad idea. It's a dying profession so not the time to start down that path. You DH sounds like he had very old fashioned ideas. Thankfully we no longer live in the age when you just sat in the same job and got regular promotions just for sticking around (unless you work in the public sector but even there there are limits). I would encourage your son to get some skills or to start a business. Unskilled labour isn't worth much and computer processing isn't really a skill these days any lire than reading is.

Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 11:27

He worked in a primary school one afternoon a week during 6th form and really liked it. Primary teaching (7-11 age group) was what he wanted to do.

He got a B and D at A level, so his grades weren't great. He's a clever boy but struggles with exams. He got his best grade in the subject where it was a mix of exam and coursework. He only did 2 A levels because school rules are you can only continue if you get a C or above in your AS levels, and in his third subject he got below that so had to drop it.

He didn't apply for uni because the school encouraged him to accountancy degree apprenticeships.

OP posts:
Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 11:30

Thanks for the link, I will send it to DS.

Partners view is that he's not given office work a chance, 3 months isn't long enough to decide he doesn't like it or that there are no prospects. I think that's wrong. Partner said he should stick it out for 6 months minimum but he's not going to acquire any skills in that time so what's the point?

OP posts:
MorseandLewis · 29/08/2018 11:32

He is probably just in time to get an initial teacher training place at uni for this year but some start this week

Call all the unis now, otherwise he wastes another year

I made my dds boyfriend do this last year, accepted and at uni in 5 days

HollowTalk · 29/08/2018 11:32

Accountancy is a dying profession? In what way?

kitkatsky · 29/08/2018 11:33

He could try to get a job as a TA to see if he still likes it, though those roles are decreasing a lot due to school finding cuts.

Alternatively there's nothing to say he can't have a long term future in a bar. I was in school with a guy who did bar work for 2 years and became bar manager. Ten years on he owns three successful bars in our town.

I'm a firm believer in customer facing type roles that if that's what you want to do, do it with aspiration, so choose THE BEST place in your town and aspire to work there for best possible opportunities.

He'll have plenty of time in the future to stick at jobs he dislikes because he needs the money/ it fits in with kids etc. I don't think he should leave his current job without having another lined up, but definitely start looking

BlueSuffragette · 29/08/2018 11:33

Has he got GCSE maths, English and science grade C/4 or above as he needs these to be a teacher. I think he will also have to pass a skills test for maths and English to access a teacher training degree.

OutPinked · 29/08/2018 11:34

If he enjoyed the customer facing roles, chances are he would enjoy teaching. However on the flip side, not enjoying office work is also a sign he wouldn’t enjoy teaching. Confusing, I know.

I teach FE English in a college so mostly adult learners, some 16-18 year olds in my A level classes. I much, much prefer this to the notion of secondary school or primary as I feel intellectually stimulated and don’t have annoying kids giving me grief all day (aside from my own Grin). The red tape and admin though is immeasurable, that is by far the most stressful part of my job and it can really take away from the joy of teaching. You will find most teachers say this and it has drastically worsened since 2010 (need I expand..) and chances are, it will only get worse.

We also have to attend regular meetings discussing how we can cut finances. It is petty but we have a limit on how much printer paper we can use for example, some teachers ignore this and rightly so. This is the most frustrating part of my job. The admin is mostly electronic now, we have a tracking system which we have to regularly update for each of our students. It’s all rather annoying.

People also think teachers hours are great and family friendly, they aren’t. We start around 7:30-8am and finish at 5pm earliest, much later if there are open evenings (parents evenings for primary and secondary). Also the marking... oh the marking. I had one A level class, two access classes and one GCSE class last year, this is a very typical set up and in total I had 80 students per week. The GCSE class doesn’t bring very much marking with it, the A level and access classes are 1500-2500 essays every couple of months and sometimes the deadlines overlap so at one stage in April I had fifty 2000-2500 essays to mark in the space of 2-3 weeks. Kill me now, I know.

He would need to consider a few things before leaping headfirst into teaching.

  1. Is he prepared to almost never take time off during term time? We get bollocked for sick days and obviously you can never take a holiday.
  2. is he prepared to work 14 hour days then still have to return home to mark?
  3. what age is he interested in teaching? Primary is probably the most family friendly and least stressful but still not easy.

Would he consider trying to be a TA for the time being to see how he feels? It could give him a small insight minus the endless admin.

BlueBug45 · 29/08/2018 11:34

What type of subjects is be interested in? Did he do A levels?

He really needs careers advice and to talk to more adults doing different jobs as loads of teachers drop out before and soon after qualifying. Lots of people choose teaching because that's what they know of the world of work but it isn't necessarily the right career for them. I have friends' and acquaintances who are qualified teachers doing anything from being tube drivers, working in marketing, working in HR, working in IT, etc.

HollowTalk · 29/08/2018 11:34

I wouldn't advise him to do a teacher training degree unless he particularly wants to work in primary. He'd be far better off taking a degree and then spending his fourth year on a PGCE.

I would advise him not to make a decision just yet. He could end up jumping into a degree which he then realises isn't for him. Why not encourage him to spend the next few months at work, but figuring out what he would like to do?

Thingsdogetbetter · 29/08/2018 11:35

Isn't he a bit young to be panicking about a career path? I know some 18 year olds know exactly what they want to do, but many (most) don't. Before he goes the teaching route without being sure it's for him, I think he should be dipping his toes into different jobs and test them out. University is an expensive way to go, if you're not sure what you want to do long term.

If he likes customer facing jobs there are plenty of progression opportunities so don't write that off. He could spend a year working in different venues: hotels, restaurants etc and then do a hospitality degree. For teaching he could TA for a while and see if it is for him before doing an expensive three year degree (It's a bloody tough profession and I see many new young teachers who think it's all going to be inspiring students who will hang on their every word. First time they're sworn at or face a class of teens who don't give a fuck, new teachers suddenly realise the reality doesn't match up. Something like a quarter of new teachers quit with in two years! I'm a teacher by the way and love my job. Lol).

At his age, as long as he's bring in some kind of wage and being responsible I'd be happy with him. Being stuck in a job/career path that makes you miserable is awful. Very few people get to really love their jobs, but you shouldn't stick to one you actively hate.

JennyHolzersGhost · 29/08/2018 11:39

Hmm I agree with those who say it’s a bit early for him to specialise in teaching straight off.

I think if he’s fundamentally fairly bright I’d be very tempted to try and get him into a local college to do another A Level for a year and then apply to universities for entry next autumn.
What subjects did he do and is there a subject he’s interested in which might be worth going back to college for ?

Alternatively forget the accountancy apprenticeships but have a look at BTECs and apprenticeships in other fields. Get hold of some local colleges’ info and see if anything grabs him.

Fairenuff · 29/08/2018 11:40

Teaching can also be boring, monotonous, soul destroying. Lots and lots of paperwork and pointless, endless demands. It eats into your family time and makes you a slave to the term dates. Of course it can also be great but it's not for everyone.

Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 11:44

He's not panicking about a career exactly. He's always been very happy go lucky but this job is really getting him down.

As mentioned there is a family friend who teaches primary. He is going to speak to her about teaching assistant roles etc.

The bar work he liked because it wasn't long term. It was good fun but not done thing he wanted to be doing in 10 years. The really late nights and constant weekend working also got him down. In peak season he was doing 70 hours a week.

He has maths and English GCSE at grade B. He failed science but at 6th form they told him not to bother with a resit Confused

OP posts:
BlueSky198080 · 29/08/2018 11:45

Only do a teacher training undergrad if that’s 100% what he wants to do. Best doing a undergrad then a PGCE if he’s not sure (bitter experience talking here).

Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 11:48

I don't think he would want to go back and do another A level althpugh I suppose he could part time? I'm not sure where though as it's all 6th forms here apart from the college which just does NVQ type stuff. He wanted to do Philosophy and Ethics A level at the time but his school didn't offer it. His current A levels are Business Studies and History.

OP posts:
BlueSky198080 · 29/08/2018 11:49

And he will need science GCSEs.

Also check with a lot of university courses we noticed that they required science as well as maths and English, for some courses that you won’t have thought. ( ds is starting in a few weeks, so spent a year looking at what he wanted to do). However there will be plenty for him to chose from! Good luck!

Fairenuff · 29/08/2018 11:52

There are also university courses that have no exams and are 100% coursework assessed which might suit him better.