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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DS, university/ job/ career....

128 replies

Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 09:25

For the last 3 months DS has been working in an office for a local company - basic junior admin stuff. Completing spreadsheet, typing up notes. He's been asked to do a few extra tasks too but it's all quite simple.

At first he quite liked it when it was all new. But now he's really bored. There's no prospects either, no natural way of advancing his career. The more senior people have worked there for 20 years plus, then it's loads of juniors. So no career path.

He said if he stays for a year, 5, he feels he will be in the same position. He's a very upbeat person normally, things don't upset him, he is always glass is half full. But currently he's really quite down. It's most unlike him.

We've talked about applying for another job. However he's not sure he enjoys the office environment. This is his first office job, he previously worked in customer facing roles in a bar/ restaurant which he enjoyed more but was never a long term plan.

When he was in 6th form he thought about teaching (and did some teaching practice in school) but the school directed him down the path of accountancy- he applied for a few degree apprenticeships but wasn't successful and took the bar job...He's not sure accountancy is for him though it was more the schools idea. And it's still office work which doesn't appeal.

I've asked about other careers, he really isn't a physical type so manual trades don't appeal.

He's going to speak to a family friend who is a teacher about his options and see what he can do. I don't know if he can try and get a place through clearing or if he will need to wait and apply next year but at least he can look into it.

This seems sensible to me, but my DP was quite dismissive of it and said he needs to stick to it, he's being ridiculous saying there are no prospects, and so on. So is DS being unreasonable in this?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 29/08/2018 13:33

Our employees in the third sector get the chance to study for NVQs which are very much more hands on than exam based courses. Some begin in admin and move on to senior admin, business development or data management positions. Some progress to recovery coordinator work, young people jobs or work in family services. It's all fast paced and no two days are the same.

Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 13:36

I'm sorry I think maybe I've not been clear.

He did a couple of short term shop roles, then did a year or so working in a bar type environment. He then started his current job which hes done for 3 months and doesn't like. He's not just left school. He's had a fair bit of time to think and reflect...he thought he would go into an office and work his way up, as lots of people have suggested to him. He thought he was going off to do something more 'proper' after his bar work. Now he's there and is basically a filing clerk, theres nowhere to go, and having looked around the only other office roles he can get without a degree or equivalent are just more of the same.

OP posts:
stevie69 · 29/08/2018 13:38

We'll accountancy is a bad idea. It's a dying profession

You have GOT to be joking. In today's world? It's all about the money, money, money ....

Accountancy's a great career if you're interested in it.

heymammy · 29/08/2018 13:39

Would he consider moving to one of the big supermarkets? They do tend to have very clear career progression opportunities, there is always something different to try and young adults who work there tend to have a great social life Wink

Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 13:40

Piggy, I'll be honest a few teachers at my school did fall into teaching because other stuff didn't work out. They were pretty good despite it not actually being their first choice. I appreciate times have changed and I'm not at all up to date with it.

From speaking to DS at lunch his concern is that he doesn't want to think 'oh it's just this job' and spend the next few months plodding on while looking for something else, gets another job and its exactly as limited and pointless as this one. He feels if he can get a TA role (there are 12 currently advertised on our council website, so maybe) at least he can try something else, and he's moving forward.

OP posts:
thesandwich · 29/08/2018 13:50

The ta roles will be very competitive too as termtime and ideal for mums so he needs to have a first rate application.

Bluebolt · 29/08/2018 13:50

He could look at youth work, lots of different roles and different routes he can take into different careers.

EmmaStone · 29/08/2018 13:51

There are so many different jobs out there, he's not limited to teaching / TA, accountancy or bar work. Or boring office work (although I think it's worth reminding him that with no qualifications or skills yet, most work really is going to be boring. It's not called a job for nothing).

As a PP has touched upon, perhaps he should consider an actual sector that interests him, then the onus is on him to chase the role. As an example, I work in media, and you have to want it pretty badly to get a job and work your way up. But it's incredibly varied, often client facing (again, dependent on role), and the breadth of jobs is immense. It's the same in many sectors.

Although my children are young at 11 & 13, I've tried to instill in them that if there's something they want to achieve (the big house or the fast car), we work out much it costs, what someone needs to earn to afford it, and what jobs pay that kind of salary. Then what education level is required for that job, and what kind of grades. It was a bit of an eye opener for them both. Might be worth a similar exercise with your DS now so he can work out whether to achieve his long term goals he needs to do further training or not.

jewel1968 · 29/08/2018 13:51

Has he considered the civil service? It can be very varied. There are apprenticeship schemes too that are not asking for particularly high grades.

JennyHolzersGhost · 29/08/2018 13:54

If he’s sure he is interested in working with kids can he perhaps do some volunteering to boost that side of his CV? For example scouts / cubs ?

Piggywaspushed · 29/08/2018 13:56

I think the TA route is a good one. He should give it a go. But he should also see whether any of those schools will offer qualifications/ training alongside to open up more opportunities as he is only young . TA work can be satisfying but the pay is woeful and not really,t herefore, a permanent game form young people.

Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 14:00

What really interests him is sport - football and wrestling in particular. But he accepted at 10 that he was never going to be a professional sportsman! And whilst as a tween he did briefly consider journalism, it's not something he has a natural flair for, and is v competitive. So that was ruled out.

So we are where we are. I've never placed any emphasis on wage earning with him; I have a good career and we have a comfortable lifestyle, but whilst my job is interesting, it is neither enjoyable nor worthwhile. My aim for my children was that they do what makes them happy, irrespective of salary. Which is probably why he still can't decide what to do.

OP posts:
titchy · 29/08/2018 14:00

he thought he would go into an office and work his way up, as lots of people have suggested to him.

Which he can do.... he may not be able to in that company, but a years worth of clerical experience and then move elsewhere. Surely you and he weren't expecting him to stay with the same company forever Shock

Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 14:01

In terms of the TA role he is really looking on it as a means to an end...some wages while he does further qualifications/ applies next year for university/ decides if it's definitely for him, or - if he still wants to do a degree - he goes for another subject.

OP posts:
hallsaresweeties · 29/08/2018 14:02

Why not nhs band 3 jobs, starting wage is £17747 gross a year , no qualifications needed bar a few GCSEs in the usual English maths.

hallsaresweeties · 29/08/2018 14:04

Can work his way up the bands

Piggywaspushed · 29/08/2018 14:04

I think if he likes sport he'll be a popular and useful TA : the ones that like to get stuck in and support those with physical/ motor difficulties are often highly sought after. We have just had a young lad with a very unconventional educational background do two years with us as a fantastic TA and he is now off to do a teaching degree. Could your DS see also if he could get a volunteer placement on some playschemes or in a SEN school?

Cowardlycustard2 · 29/08/2018 14:05

There is a huge shortage of men working in primary schools so his gender may help! Look on school and local council websites for TA job vacancies. Local FE college will offer GCSE Science resit. They also offer Access to Higher Education courses whereby you can gain a qualication roughly equivalent to 3 A levels in one year. It's coursework based.

Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 14:05

Titchy, no neither of us were expecting him to stay there forever. However his expectation was there would be a learning curve, he would start knowing nothing, and learn new tasks and develop skills over months, periodically getting new things given to him to assist his development. As it is he learnt the entire job in a week. There is no more to it and there is no prospect of anything else with that employer.

He was initially expecting that he would stay there for 6-12 months, perhaps move role once, and then go to a new job, in a slightly more senior role drawing on his experience. Except he hasn't got any! And the longer he stays there he will just stagnate.

OP posts:
Bluebolt · 29/08/2018 14:07

If he can get more UCAS points he could do a degree at Wembley which combines accountancy/business in the football and sports industry.

Original poster
Periperisauce · 29/08/2018 14:11

Piggy, thanks that's interesting. Most of the TA vacancies in our area are either at 2 specialist schools or they are in mainstream assisting children with SN. DS is a strong lad and quite happy to get involved with any physical activities. He also has a really nice, patient manner with kids. It's stuff like that which makes me think if he can sort his academics out (and if he does enjoy the TA work) he'd make a good teacher.

Cowardly, we'll look at that Access course too. The coursework aspect sounds good.

OP posts:
MirriVan · 29/08/2018 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Piggywaspushed · 29/08/2018 14:15

Nooooo blue that place is awful! It is like a low end sixth form college in a wonderful setting with constant staff turnover. The reviews on what uni need to be seen to be believed...

MirriVan · 29/08/2018 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Piggywaspushed · 29/08/2018 14:16

peri how about a degree in Early Years teaching? More physical and play centred. Kindness and pateince very important and he has his English and maths.