To think I can work from home with a 1yo

[Pollypanda]

I am currently on maternity leave, returning to work in November when DS will be 1. Work have allowed me to work from home 1 day a week to help alleviate nursery costs which I’m grateful for. However, general consensus amongst family and friends is that I’m mad to think I’ll get any work done whilst trying to look after DS.

I am office based, managing a small team without much direct client contact. Most of my communication in done via email due to the nature of my industry. So I won’t be juggling client calls, meetings, etc. Any calls I do get will be from my team.

AIBU to think I can do this no problem?

Has anyone every sat for 11 hours a day with a child attached clowns???

*ever

if your work value you so much that they're prepared to let you do something like an somethign like an unofficial quarter day or whatever then fine.

but don't expect to do a good day's work and give a 1 yr old a good amount of attention, as others have had said it's in no way viable.

🙄 some the replies.

When I had my business I had staff do it and it worked well.

I think you’ll be able to able to do it with good organisation & a bit of juggling.

Thank everyone who has offered to help. Tell them you really appreciate it and will take them up on any time at all they can have DS, that you understand it’s add-hoc, but if they know anytime before the day that they’ll be free to have DS to let you know so you can plan your work around it. You might find others are happy to help you out too if they’re not committed to doing it every week.

It’s helpful to have a convenient ‘work station’ where you have anything you might need and where you can easily and safely dump documents, phone etc. This can just be on the dining table or kitchen worktop, just somewhere central so you’re not spending half the time looking for stuff you’ve dumped in a hurry.

As much as possible leave anything ‘easier’ to do on those days and do everything ‘more complicated’ on other days.

Ask the others at work to text/email unless it’s an emergency and if it’s necessary to speak, then you can call them when it’s convenient - put DS in in his buggy and go for a walk if you don’t need lots of documents etc

Don’t waste a moment of his nap time doing anything you could do when he’s awake.

You have nothing to lose by giving it a go, if it’s not working you’ll just have to see what you can change.

Not if you are required to be available during specific hours and have no support. If you can get a babysitter or work during early mornings and evenings while dc is asleep or your h/p is home maybe. The advantage of wfh is that your childcare costs reduce by not having to travel in.

NeepNeep I've seen plenty of MNers insist this is their life with a baby!

My husband thought he could do this until I explained that you can only do one of those jobs properly! So either you’re giving the kid your full attention and taking your eye off work or vice versa.

Exhibit A: I tried to call into a meeting at work on my day off. Toddler tried to escape up the stairs, had to run after him. Only toys that would keep his attention were the loud plastic variety. So had to try to contribute to a meeting while ‘What shall we do with a drunken sailor’ was blearing out of some pirate ship (all of my colleagues could hear this). Won’t be doing that again!

I can occasionally get a work meeting in while I take him out for a walk in the pram. But that obviously has its limitations.

Haven't RFT.
I think getting a full days work done with a 1 yr old in tow is optimistic.
My DD used to go to nursery 2 morning a week and DH worked from home on those days, I took her to nursery on my way to work, while he worked at home, he then picked her up, spent an hour or two with her. They went home, she had an enormous nap (she never slept at nursery) while he did another couple of hours, then would break off from work if she woke before I got home.
Is nursery or a childminder for a couple of hours an option?

I could actually see it happening with a newborn clown. Emphasis on newborn. Been there done that. Grim, grim times.

It’s not possible unless you plan to work nights!
I had a very easy baby, he is an easy toddler. He still could be left to play for more than minutes without intervention.

Working from hone would make life a lot easier in terms of washing, household, deliveries etc. Maybe you could do a short nursery day and still work at home.

I haven’t read the full thread, just the OP’s updates.

I think you are incredibly naive thinking it will be easy- it’s not. I did it for a while and eventually relented and put mine in nursery. I still have to do work when they’re at home occasionally but only when they are having a nap, in bed for the night or my partner is at home to supervise them.

On the rare occasion I absolutely have to do something when they’re awake around the house (I have 2 toddler but this applies even if there’s just one about), it takes me more time to do a simple task, I’m more likely to make a mistake and the general quality of my work isn’t as good.

It could work for you if your child is a reliable napper and can slot in 1-2 hours in the day during their nap time, and your husband takes over from 16:15 until you get your work done. You will need to be organised, flexible and willing to throw in the towel when it’s just not working. Would there be a possibility of doing 1-2 hours the evening before when your child is in bed?

I managed 20 hours a week when I had 1 toddler at home without nursery care as she would without fail nap for 3 hours every morning and I would do an extra hour in the evenings. When my other baby came along it was near on impossible.

Good luck OP, it’s not impossible but it is difficult!

I wouldn't advise it with a 1yo. I wfh one day a week and will be doing a school pickup and having DC with me for 1.5 of those hours. But a 4yo is able to entertain themselves for a bit. A toddler is totally different!

I'm afraid we once had to sack someone for this. They worked from home 3 days a week and kept getting pulled up on productivity and it turned out they had a toddler at home with them all day.

Given the constant dripfeeds, does anyone else think it would be interesting to hear this employer's view around expectations?

Based on your update, if your employer's on board you might be ok. You have 6 hours of work to do between 9am and 8.30pm. DH is at home from 4, so there's 4 and a half hours sorted. 90 minutes remaining, when and for how long does he nap? If it's 90 minutes, fine. If it's less, you can probably get eg half an hour of work done over the morning or whatever but be prepared for it to be really annoying and take the whole time.

I would ordinarily be the first to warn against this but what you actually appear to be asking is can I fit in 1.5 hours of wfh with a toddler between 9 and 4, with (presumably) a naptime in there. That's a much easier ask.

I would not allow an employee of mine to work from home without childcare in place. I accept that emergencies happen but I expect that person to be 100% focused on work.

Geez it seems like half the people responding need to RTFT.

OP isn't working 8 hours, doesn't have conference calls or meetings, only communicates with clients via email, her employer Knows she'll be doing childcare as well as working, and she has an easy baby.

Reading is fundamental!

I say sod what anyone else thinks OP and give it a whirl, if it works it works if it doesn't then you'll need a new plan.

Neep you've obviously not seen some of the more extreme attachment stuff . Mums of velcro baby 1,2,3 year olds who apparently prevent their mum from so much as chopping a few veggies because of their need to be in constant physical contact with their her. It's boggling at times though likely very exaggerated as those threads can turn into a competition to win the Most Martyred Mummy crown.

Anyway, while obviously the drip feeds weren't helpful, it's clear that in the Ops particular set of circumstances this is doable. Not easy and will require them to be very organised but then who doesn't need to be organised working ft with a young family?

I've been there, I imagined I could do this when I had my first child, it really doesn't work! My second child has just turned 1 too, he is literally everywhere, I can't take my eyes off him for a second. I had to send a work email the other day whilst looking after both children (2 and 1) it took me half an hour, I was interrupted that many times and constantly having to glance up. It just doesn't work.

You might be better asking to drop a day instead?

Hi,

I haven't managed to read the full thread, but I have kind of done this. My job was a partially out of hours job with admin and typically 30 hours per week and term-time only.

I worked from 6-7am before child woke up- I used a groclock to keep child in bed and my husband was home until 7:15am,l. Then 12:30-3pm (during nap time) and between 19:30-22:30 as needed. Occasionally when I was busy my DH would take over from 6pm so that I could catch up if we'd had a bad day. I also caught up on the weekend as needed.

Financially it worked well for us and personally I was able to be the primary career and have a job which I liked. The latter was my main motivation. The flip side was that I had no social life other than play groups and morning coffees, and I was never off, but it worked for me. It was a great help when child started preschool though at 2 and a half, as that coincided with the nap being dropped.

I think it can work with a good sleepy baby, but it is very hard work and required a lot of evening work.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Just because your boss thinks it's possible doesn't mean it is. My boss thinks children are like little dolls that can be brought across town for meetings and will sit quietly in a corner with some colouring while mummy works all day. In other words, she doesn't have a clue. However, I would never, ever consider trying to WFH regularly with DD around, even though she's 4. I spend the whole day feeling guilty and anxious that nothing is getting done either in terms of proper childcare or work. My boss doesn't mind of I make the hours up by working until midnight or all weekend while my family go of somewhere without me, but I do. I can't live like that.

You say I only communicate with clients via email which is all good and well, but what about everything else you have to do? When are you going to fit that in?

Tldr: YABU

I agree, it might work. Give it a try. It was your employer's idea. You'll soon know if it's not feasible. If it was possible to work before 9.00am, even better.

How do colleagues view the productivity of the lady with 11 mo, presumably she has not been doing this arrangement for long. Alternatively have you considered using accrued leave to give you an extra day at home with dc short term.

I worked from home with a little ds, however I had MIlL there from 8am until 2:30pm when dp came home and it was still hard work! Because I was there, ds constantly wanted/needed me.

I am amazed - but in a nice way - that any employer would be remotely receptive to the idea of letting people "work from home" for the sole purpose of reducing childcare costs, because they obviously know that while "working", the employee will also be distracted by having to look after the child. From a purely commercial perspective, this is bad business for the employer, as productivity will inevitably go down.

However, if your job is one in which you can do a lot while the child is asleep, then it might be possible for you to fit your working hours in by doing some while baby naps in the day and the rest after bedtime/early in the morning. Certainly there have been times when I've had to leave the office early for some child-related reason, and have then worked 9pm-midnight or later to make up the time.

If I were you, I would expect that this is how you will have to do your job on the wfh day. It isn't fair or reasonable to plan to work 9-5 while also being in charge of a toddler at the same time. You won't get much work done and your employer would effectively be subsidising your lifestyle choice. It will be tiring, but you might be able to make it work.