To think you cannot clean the house properly in the daytime if you have a three month old

[Brownieb]

Visited friends today with babies the same age as mine (3 months) and their house was spotless. I would have to regularly spend a whole weekend with my partner cleaning to get the house that clean - breastfeeding is proving really time consuming and I like to be able to interact with baby for a bit of time when she is awake. AIBU to expect some mess from my fellow mums ? Or am I being a bit lazy ?

I follow the organised mum method TOMM

Look her up (fb group is good) it’s brilliant

With a 5 yr old and a 4 m old my house is a bit of a shit tip. It’s all damage control till next week when dd is back to school and I can do stuff again. It’s always cluttered but I like to keep the kitchen and bathroom clean.

Much easier with a tiny baby than a toddler!!
I'm not sure my house has ever been as tidy as it was when my child was three months. Baby would lie on the playmat kicking away for an hour, and then there were frequent naps etc, and baby would be asleep for the night (albeit with brief wake ups for milk) from 7.30-7.30. It was about that age that once baby napped for 5 hours straight in the sling in the day!

So I think it depends on the baby. With a toddler, my house is now much messier, and whilst the toddler is very happy to play independently with me at their side, not so much if I potter round in the same room.

Also, why are you doing all the tidying - it should be a partnership.

I spent all day feeding (that's what it felt like) and my baby slept for about 20 minutes, 40 if I was lucky. So I found keeping stuff clean quite hard

I had another baby (who didn't have reflux) and he slept for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. So I think I may have been tidier then.

Also people manically tidy before visitors

I have a 4 month old DD and a spotless house. Gave ina couple of months ago and got a cleaner again... I just really hate cleaning!

My DD will only nap on me so I can't do anything when she's asleep, and she's never been one to lie on her playmat and stare around! But she will sit in her bouncy chair and watch me while I chat away to her and swap out her toys every 10 minutes or so. I loosely follow TOMM too and it's a breeze. Half an hour of cleaning, half an hour of laundry / dishwasher etc, half an hour of food prep. I can fit that in pretty easily. That said I would never judge a Mum who doesn't keep her house clean - we all have different priorities and that's totally fine. I just like having a clean house!

I have a two month old and my house is a tip. Very stressful having visitors because I feel like I have to let my baby cry to get some tidying (I wouldn't go as far as "cleaning"!) done

I couldn't do it with a three month old. Don't compare yourself to others, you're an individual.

Get someone in to clean once a week if you can afford it then there's nothing to worry about.

Babies who can be put down for naps are in no way comparable to babies who scream whenever put down.

I think although I have a good baby - happy and good natured she has some health issues and so I can’t put her in a sling/bouncer/chair etc. That’s also I think why during the day she feeds so often- she’s very very small for her age (people think she’s small for a newborn). She takes 20-30 minutes to feed and 15-30 to burp. I can’t have anymore children due to issues related to my last pregnancy so I guess I am really trying to make the most of my first and last baby! Those are great comments from everyone 🙂 if anyone has any helpful tips to save time with cleaning tasks then let me know. Unfortunately I can’t afford our groups and a cleaner!

10 week old with colic here, feeds every 2 hours throughout the day and night. But she normally naps 3 times during the day for an hour each time. I spend one of those hours every day doing a general clean/ tidy so it always looks fairly spotless.

Mosret aren’t you tired! Superwoman!

it depends on your priorities. I need my house to be clean or I can’t sit down. I still clean twice a day while my son is in the sling breastfeeding and he’s 7 months and have a 4 year old too. I only take him off for the bleach in the bathrooms which I do during nap time.
I clean at his lunchtime feed, when Eldest is eating and he’s feeding and again at 8 when their both asleep and DPs home. I didn’t find it that difficult.

Yeah I'm permanently exhausted! But I'm a bit weird like that I can't relax if the house is a mess so I do it quickly and then I can sleep during the other small naps

@Brownieb The fact that you can't put your DD down and that she feeds a lot will definitely impact your ability to keep on top of the house! It's not forever. Do what you can, get your OH to pitch in and most importantly don't feel guilty about it. It's YOUR house and nobody else's business.

Just enjoy every minute of your lovely baby. You said she is the only one you will have. Just try and do abit eachday as you go along.
Believe me, as a woman you will be cleaning for the rest of your life so
stop feeling guilty or that you are somehow inadequate compared to all these other mums with spotless houses. You are ebfeeding and that is brilliant in itself. You sound like a lovely mum to me.

A cleaner is an absolute must

If you can afford it, I imagine very few women a few months into maternity leave can afford one.

OP if your baby is clingy and a tidy house is important to you - your DH\P needs to do more. All adults can clean

My mother said to me, after DC1 was born, your children will remember a mum who cuddled them, played with them and read to them. They won’t care or remember how clean and tidy your house was.

So true!

Depends on the baby. Some just sleep most of the time still at that age!! Not mine though lol! I have a 2month old and a 3yo and I prioritise sleep.

TBF I would never have had a spotless house anyway because im terrible at cleaning

I would say at three months keeping a house clean is easy! At five years and two years it’s a bloody never ending nightmare 😬

As others said, depends on your priorities. If you like cleaning (my mum for example finds it therapeutic) then go for it, but I kind of feel like I'd rather spend my time either cuddling my baby, napping, cooking & eating a nice meal, or just sitting not being needed or touched out. Each to their own - it's doable, but only if you give up the time to do it.

Getting a cleaner is the single greatest gift I've ever given myself. Yes it's a cost you need to be able to afford, ours comes every other Thursday and I don't need to do much to maintain the sparkly cleanliness inbetween. We budget in the £60 a month it costs because it's blooming worth it IMO.

Also, my OH cleans when he gets home. His house his mess too!

Depends on the 3 month old and the house

I’ve not been on top of my house cleaning since my DD was born 13months ago. I hate it. I work in the week so feel awful if she goes to my mum/mil at weekend because I want to spend it with her but she would need to not be there for me to be able to get the house how I want it. I get essentials done while she naps but certainly not been how I want it for ages.

I have an 8 month old, 3 year old and 5 year old and I am one of those people with an ‘immaculate house’. Always been that way - I just plan my time well, have good nappers and sometimes the baby just sits on the floor and plays while I tidy up, the older two can amuse themselves if needed. I definitely don’t spend my weekends cleaning, maybe one hour on a Sunday... the key is keeping on top of it every day.

Lack of clutter is also key!

Just organised for a woman to come and pick up the ironing every week! Every little helps!