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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you cannot clean the house properly in the daytime if you have a three month old

132 replies

Brownieb · 29/08/2018 02:20

Visited friends today with babies the same age as mine (3 months) and their house was spotless. I would have to regularly spend a whole weekend with my partner cleaning to get the house that clean - breastfeeding is proving really time consuming and I like to be able to interact with baby for a bit of time when she is awake. AIBU to expect some mess from my fellow mums ? Or am I being a bit lazy ?

OP posts:

allthelolz · 29/08/2018 08:13

My house was at it's tidiest when I had one small baby. He would quite happily sit in a bouncer watching me or the cat, or lie in the floor under a play gym whilst I got on with stuff. I even had time to iron Muslin cloths and vests

Bluelady · 29/08/2018 08:15

How can it take two people an entire weekend to clean a house? I can do mine, top to bottom, in two hours.

Turkkadin · 29/08/2018 08:17

I had 2 in 14 months and keeping the house really clean and tidy was a priority for me. Looking back it's one of the things I really regret.
I was constantly annoyed by mess which is pointless when you have 2 toddlers. If I could have my time again I would have tried to enjoy them more and not be so bothered about housework. Employing a cleaner is such a good idea imo.

Nearlyhaveahouse · 29/08/2018 08:19

Depending on the baby, definitely easier to keep a tidy home with a 3month old rather than 3yr. Go with what keeps you sane and ignore the rest!

Jeippinghmip · 29/08/2018 08:20

I had three under five at one time. My house didn’t get cleaned properly for years. No one died.

Turkkadin · 29/08/2018 08:24

After years and years of bloody housework you realise it's a never ending and thankless task. My best advice would be to pay someone else to do the majority of it if you possibly can. Constant housework and food prep is the death of creativity.

HopeGarden · 29/08/2018 08:27

It all depends, doesn’t it?

If you’ve an easy baby that sleeps well and is content to be put down, it’s easier to clean than with a non-sleeping velcro baby.

If you’re already in the habit of tidying and cleaning as you go it’s easier to keep it up with a baby than if you never had those habits.

If you have a DH who tidies and cleans it’s easier than if you’re doing it all yourself.

If you have a cleaner it’s easier than if you were doing it all yourself.

If you’re a fairly minimalist household it’s easier than if there’s a borderline hoarder in the house.

And also, most people have at least a quick clean and tidy when they’re expecting visitors, so it’s not necessarily how their house always is.

Dontfartbackinanger · 29/08/2018 08:40

Oh OP please don’t worry about it or compare yourself to others. Frankly you’re doing amazingly to be bf a 3 month old and I know what that is like and what cluster feeding is like. So congratulate yourself on that.

FWIW when my (bf, fairly demanding!) DD was about 6 months things got a lot easier. I did 30 mins cleaning every day which meant I stayed on top of things.

My DH helps a lot too but it’s taken time and patience e.g when I had to explain that cleaning the loo seat was not done by wiping it with dry toilet paper

LittleLionMansMummy · 29/08/2018 08:42

I'm quite wistful about the cleanliness of our house when we had one 3mo. A 7yo and almost 2yo are a different matter altogether! At 3mo both ds and dd were either asleep, or in a sling or in a bouncy chair watching and hearing me potter. I often pottered around the kitchen chatting and singing to them. 'Interaction' doesn't have to mean shaking rattles and toys in their faces the whole time they're awake. Both of mine are 'talkers' and I think it's probably because I never shut up when they were babies!

HushabyeMountainGoat · 29/08/2018 08:49

It's just about doing things as you go so nothing is ever that mucky. Plus at 3mo DS was really happy kicking in his baby gym so i could potter around him quite easily. Now he's 1yo I've bought a playpen for when i need to get something done or otherwise he's quite happy to crawl round the kitchen while i'm doing the dishwasher etc.

When DH comes home I spend about 40-1hr just having a mini blitz. In that time I tidy up, prepare dinner, sort kitchen, sort laundry, hoover and spray mop the floor.

I do zone cleaning now as well so I focus on a certain area of the house each week and do one less common job in that room each day. Then there are weekly jobs such as dusting which have a designated day of the week. So today for me is hoovering stairs and bedrooms.

I've nicked all this from How Jen Does It on youtube.

hodgeheg92 · 29/08/2018 08:49

I think you should expect more of your OH. I follow the organised mum method, with adjustments for my house and I cut myself some slack, but my DH does it too! For me maternity leave is not for becoming a house wife, it's for recovering from pregnancy/birth and looking after/developing my baby. The house work has only happened now I'm recovered from birth and my baby (7 months) is in a good routine/able to be in the jumperoo for 5 minutes.

You'll get there, be patient with yourself x

Rooberoobe · 29/08/2018 08:50

Organised Mum method is key in our house! Tho it took me about 3 weeks to see the difference and it was only once I watched the videos did I realise how easy it can be done!

Hanuman · 29/08/2018 08:55

I think a lot of it is about night time sleep. I was in awe of two mums from my nct group who were always at classes and groups and looked great. I then discovered that their babies had slept through from around 6 weeks. Mine was up 4 times a night at 3 months and I just didn't have as much energy as them.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 29/08/2018 08:56

Ha! My house was spotless when DS was 3 months old. I was on maternity leave, he was immobile, the place was a palace.

Now he is 3, and I swear a pack of dingos would do less damage. I think your biggest challenges lie ahead.

Original poster

Brownieb · 29/08/2018 08:58

@Tawdry

OP posts:

cookiesandchocolate · 29/08/2018 09:05

Pay a cleaner to do a deep clean and then keep on top of it.
A 3 month old doesn't make mess. Toddlers do 🙈

Withyoung babies, it's more finding the energy. With kids it's chasing them and going over what you've already tidied. My OH and I argue about it. He would prefer an immaculate house whilst kids on tablets. I prefer a clean house and playing with kids and taking them out. My OH is a lot better than he was

glueandstick · 29/08/2018 09:06

Mine was spotless at 3 months. 3 years? Not so much anyhow.

piglet81 · 29/08/2018 09:11

I am pretty slovenly by nature, and had a complete non-sleeper of a baby so just did the barest minimum necessary to keep the place from becoming an actual health hazard. Now he's 3 and has grasped the concept of sleep my DH and I really ought to get to grips with the house...

HollySwift · 29/08/2018 09:13

I always sound like a smug bitch about this but I’m not. I just do little & often and the people I know who have less tidy/clean houses don’t. It never builds up to an insurmountable task. The bathroom gets wiped regularly, I do the kitchen as soon as I’ve finished a meal etc. I don’t get why people don’t wipe crumbs etc straight away?!

I’ve got 4 kids and it’s not spotless to my eyes but others think it is.

notacooldad · 29/08/2018 09:13

It was easier keeping our house spotless as a breastfeeding mum on mat leave than a full time working parents with teenagers who had hockey, cricket and football kits everywhere as well as mountain biking gear and snowboarding stuff everywhere.

moreofaslummythanyummy · 29/08/2018 09:13

Honestly the Organised mum method is a game changer.
I didn't blitz I just jumped straight in with the 30 mins and it made so much difference !

NonJeNeRegretteRien · 29/08/2018 09:16

I mean, I can’t do it but that’s because my baby doesn’t nap and isn’t a fan of being put down.

Others in my NCT group seem to have champion mappers so I imagine their houses being spic and span.

Maybe she’s got a cleaner or a lovely mum...

Lazypuppy · 29/08/2018 09:18

@Brownieb i think it depends on baby. Mine was breastfed but never clusterred, i would feed her every 3 hours, only took 10mins to feed and burp her. Then i'd kie her down or put her in her swing chair then get on with whatever i wanted/needed to do

Llanali · 29/08/2018 09:20

If you want to, it’s totally do able. If you don’t care, and the house isn’t an actual cess pit, then don’t worry.

I care/cared, and my house was always fine. Every morning you come down stairs, dust the banisters on the way. Clean the shower after using it, whilst your hair begins in dry in the towel. Clean the sink whilst you run baby bath.

Get a decent sling! Get your husband to do more.

SnuggyBuggy · 29/08/2018 09:36

Also a lightweight cordless vacuum really helps if your baby won't be put down for a nap

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