To think this former colleague needs to accept that she's gone?

[user1485342611]

A former colleague of ours retired a few months ago. However, she's behaving as if she still works here. Every day someone gets a call from her asking what's the gossip etc. She calls in at least once a week with a packet of biscuits and joins us for break, but has started hanging around for ages keeping people from their work or going in and out of offices distracting them.

We went for impromptu drinks after work one evening and apparently she was most put out that she'd been 'excluded'. She's already been reminding us to make sure she's kept informed of arrangements for the Christmas party.

I'm all for people keeping in touch, but usually it's by arranging to meet people they were friendly with for lunch or a drink, not expecting the whole workplace to include her in everything.

AIBU to think she really needs to move on and create a new life, instead of behaving as if she never left the place. I do feel sorry for her, as she must be really missing the companionship of work, but it would be far healthier to join some activities and find new interests. We've tried to work it into the conversation a few times, talking about people we know who've joined a choir, taken up aquavit, learnt bridge etc and how much they enjoy it, but she still seems to see her former workplace as her main social outlet.

This office sounds as much like a social club as a workplace. The OP seems to like it, taking about group Mamma Mia trips and drinks, parties etc etc. If the OP left the company for whatever reason, would she expect never to hang out with her workmates again?

I would suggest she comes back 2/3 hours a week to help with filing or post etc... Can you ask a manager if this would be ok to payroll her for this?

Sudden retirement is, I imagine, pretty traumatic. One week you're in your usual routine, have purpose and direction, people you like around you, next week - nothing. It would have been sensible if she'd woubd down slowly, decreasing her hours a bit at a time until she couldn't be arsed any more.

She really needs a part time job because it sounds as if she's just not ready to be put out to grass yet. Did she choose to retir, OP, or was it forced on her?

Wound down, ffs!

You talk a lot about 'we'-we being you and colleagues. Clearly you dont include her in that. Sounds like you have separated her from everyone else who you see as yours. Do others feel like you? Shes human the same as all of you

Of course there's a 'we'.

'We' are the people who work there. She doesn't! Of course there's a seperation! She's left the Company!

I would suggest she comes back 2/3 hours a week to help with filing or post etc... Can you ask a manager if this would be ok to payroll her for this?

I can only presume this post is tongue in cheek! As a pp said... companies aren't run as Entertainment Centres for those that have retired! It's all about profit and loss, expenditure and year end figures! Not about easing poor old Joan into her retirement by having her back to take the parcels to the Post office!

Where on earth does it say this was sudden retirement?

Some of responses on here are ludicrous. A person has retired, by all means they are entitled to maintain friendship with former colleagues but the suggestions here that the op is obliged to include her in everything and facilitate a return to part time hours are off the scale lunacy, even for mumsnet.

IrmaFayLear

Where did the OP say that retired colleague should 'never hang out with her workmates' again?'

Onetimeposter

OP is explaining the difficulties this woman is causing for her and her colleagues. 'We' would be the normal expression to use. Your post is ridiculous.

So OP posted about lack of boundaries, having staff distracted... And the advice is to ringfence a nice little part time easy job for the woman?
That suggestion is bonkers.

Workplaces are not there to provide ex staff with a social circle!

Loneliness is the worst poverty. I feel really bad for her.

It's an assumption that she is lonely. We don't know that. She wants the office gossip, we do know that much.

Yes, loneliness is crushing but unless we know whether she has friends, a husband, children or family, we cannot assume she has no one and is lonely.

Some of these responses would be fine if OP were talking about excluding her from the Christmas party and all social events, which I agree would be mean in a workplace where leavers evidently stay in touch and where people are friends. But she's literally distracting people from their work now, and doing it multiple times a week. It's completely reasonable to feel that's a problem. It is.

She'd probably benefit from A part time job, not necessarily with the original employer, obviously.

Still massively at the part time job suggestions.
Absolutely ridiculous, particularly in a small company which it sounds like this is. I know of four or five people desperate for part time roles for whatever reason. Very difficult to come by.

I would imagine that the retirees job was filled fairly quickly if it's been months of her hanging around and still no "oh just jump on this for an hour will you Elsie".

Are you not reading, Iggle? I'm suggesting she gets a part time job somewhere else as she's clearly not ready to stop work completely. There are loads of part time jobs here.